Translation By: Macey McHenry
by behind.my.bright.blue.eyes
Summary: A series of emails, texts, and real life problems, Macey McHenry is always there to translate. Boy drama, family issues, your whole life out in front of you. Always here to help. Love, M.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Finding Cammie Crazy

Summary: A series of emails, texts, and real life problems, Macey McHenry is always there to translate. Boy drama, family issues, your whole life out in front of you. I'm always here to help.

~m

~ : * : ~

I checked my email, not really expecting much but a crap load of spam and some cheesy forwards, but was a little caught off guard when I saw an email from Cammie in all caps, which read:

**O.M.G. MACEY MCHENRY! GUESS WHAT?**

Well, this actually sounded important.

_What? _I asked.

**Okay, so Zach asked me if I like him and I said yes so then I asked him if he liked me and he said yes and now he's like interrogating me to see what kind of girl I am and whatnot. I say that's progression. What do you think?**

New Message.

**Oh, and ha like asked me how many boyfriends I've had in the last and I was like 0 and he's all like: really? Wow, that's unexpected.**

I began to form my reply:

_I think that's cute. And Good(e;) that means you're not a slutastic hoe-bag. Maybe you should be asking him the same questions._

New Message.

**Hahahahhahahah I don't wanna be a slutastic hoe-bag. And I will when he stops interrogating me. Then I'll interrogate him. Will you help me with the questions?**

I started typing again:

_Just ask him the same questions. . .Nah. Let's be original._

_How many girlfriends has he had in the last year?_

_Has he actually seen all the Star Wars movies?_

_Does he prefer crunchy or smooth peanut butter?_

_What does he want to be when he grows up?_

_True or false: polar bears left handed. (true)_

_How many people die every year from vending machines falling on them?(13)_

_What is his favorite color?_

_What religion is he?_

_Does he read for fun?_

_What kind of people does he hang out with?_

_If he could dye his hair any color ever what color would it be?_

_If I told you I was an assassin who was standing behind you with a gun in hand that was pointing at your head, would you believe me? You just turned around didn't you? Hah!_

_What's the stupidest thing he's ever heard in your life?_

_What is his favorite quote ever?_

_What is his favorite brand of shoes?_

_How many times has he been to Hooters?_

_Does he actually read books? If so which one's his favorite?_

_If he could add any person to our hit-list who would it be?_

_What's his favorite movie ever?_

_Does he think you're weird for asking all these insane and random questions?_

_What color are the socks he is wearing right now?_

_Who was the last person he talked to on the phone?_

_What is his favorite food ever?_

Message Sent.

New Message.

**Those are the most ridiculous questions I have heard in my life! Our conversation is serious right now . . . But I will **_**definitely **_**be asking him some those . . .They're still funny xD**

I just rolled my eyes.

_Haha, but, see they all have a meaning! You have to read between the lines! Depending on his answer, I can give a __full__ translation on what kind of guy he is!_

New Message.

**Of course you would know the secret guy code . . .OMG! He said he was thinking about kissing me the other night! The whole time! . . .OMG! I'm turning into a girl! This is horrible! Horribly amazing! **

_Well that's acute. Lol, of course I would . . . I'M MACEY McHENRY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! _

She was a math nerd, and we were always joking about how whenever she got a boyfriend she could call him acute. Like the triangle.

New Message.

**Hahahhah, your questions are WEIRD. Which ones are the most important? I obviously can't ask them all.**

Let's see . . . I thought to myself as I skimmed through the list. I clicked reply and began to type my response:

_Has he actually watched all the Star Wars Movies?_

_Crunchy or smooth peanut butter?_

_Favorite shoe brand?_

_Last person talked to on the phone?_

_If I told you I was an assassin who was standing behind you with a gun in hand that was pointing at your head, would you believe me? You just turned around didn't you? Hah!_

Message Sent.

New Message.

**You've officially lost it. The last one is WAY too out there . . . I'm not even gonna ask.**

Constructing Reply.

_It's important!_

New Message.

**No! We're being serious! He hasn't seen all the Star Wars Movies.**

Constructing Reply.

_Star Wars Translation: this is a very Good(e;) sign in consideration of the fact that only REALLY weird people with absolutely no lives have actually seen ALL of those movies._

_This is also a negative factor because:_

_He can't finish what he starts._

_It probably means he doesn't own a light-saber._

_~Translation by: Macey McHenry_

Message Sent.

New Message.

**You do realize you just called yourself a freak with no life, right? Considering you've seen all those movies about 600 times, have your own Darth Vader accessories, and about 3 different colored light-sabers, hahahah.**

Constructing Response.

_Thank You, Captain Obvious._

Message Sent.

New Message.

**You're welcome, Lieutenant Sarcasm . . . He likes crunchy peanut butter and listens to Green Day.**

Constructing Response.

_Translation: I don't listen to Green Day, so I can't help you with that one . . . But the peanut butter thing I got handled: He doesn't like all things to be the same. He likes to mix it up a bit and enjoys the unexpected. Such behavior is exemplified in his preference for his peanut butter. Slightly adventurous, but also safe because, I mean, come on! It's just peanut butter!_

_~Translation by: Macey McHenry_

Message Sent.

New Message.

**It's official, Macey. You have officially lost it. How the hell did you get all that out of his favorite peanut butter? Whatever you're smoking, I want some.**

**Okay, so I sort of made up my own translation for the next question.**

**I asked him: **

**If I asked you to meet up with me somewhere, would you come alone or bring friends?**

**If came alone he's comfortable with me.**

**If he brought friends, he's uncomfortable with me/nervous.**

**But then he went all Zachary Goode on me.**

**He threw a curve ball.**

**He put: DEPENDS…With a very suggestive winky face next to it!**

**Of ****course ****he wouldn't give me a straight answer! Because ****that ****would be too easy!**

**I said: On what?**

**His response: You tell me.**

**Why can't things be simple?**

My fingers clicked away on the keyboard. Keep in mind that it's like 2 in the morning.

_First of all, I am so proud of you! I've taught you well, cupcake. Taught. You. Well._

_And, because long distance relationships suck? Lol_

Message Sent.

New Message.

**Hahaha. Shut up! We're making it work! What the hell am I saying? We aren't even together! Hahah.**

New Message.

**He said he'd come alone. Good(e;) sign!**

New Message.

**NO THREATENING HIM, MACEY!**

I replied:

_Aww . . .why not? I'm crushed._

Message Sent.

New Message.

**I DON'T WANNA SCARE HIM OFF!**

And I was typing again:

_Can't I just threaten him a tiny bit?_

Message Sent.

New Message.

**NO!**

I blew her off saying:

_Haha. Ah, I don't care. I'm still doing it xD hahah. I'll just embarrass you a little bit and retreat. No biggie, Cam._

_As long as I'm out of there before you two start sucking face!_

Message Sent.

New Message.

**Not into PDA.**

_Well good, because I don't wanna watch xD_

Message Sent.

New Message.

**He said his favorite shoe brand is Vans.**

_So what's your point?_

Message Sent.

New Message.

**You said you wanted to know!**

_Eh, I changed my mind. Don't care anymore._

Message Sent.

New Message.

**You're insane.**

_You really feel a need to tell me this AGAIN?_

Message Sent.

New Message.

**Heeheh. Yes.**

Brilliant response:

_Mhmm._

* * *

><p>Dear Self,<p>

It's me, Macey. I figured to help keep a clear head, I should probably write to myself. In this journal. Yeah, I sound crazy. I get that. But this is pretty much the only way to sort out my thoughts, journal, so this his how it's gonna work. . . I'm going to write in you. That's it. Okay, here we go:

Literally, every person I have texted, emailed, or really just made eye contact with in the last two months had asked for either therapy, translating the boy/girl code, or solving all their problems.

Seriously. I've helped Bex with her Grant problems, Grant with his other problems, Cammie with her Zach problems, Tina with her crazy problems, Liz with her Jonas problems, Jonas with his Liz problems, and even my cousin's girlfriend with her problems!

So, where does that leave me? What happened to all of my problems? Do I simply no time to think about them because I'm dealing with everyone else's problems? Or did all of my problems just suddenly vanish like that rabbit this weird magician guy put back in the hat?

Actually, I think I do have problems. I just don't really know what they are. I'll let you know when I find out whether that's a good thing, or a bad thing.

Yours truly,

~Macey McHenry

* * *

><p><strong>AN: YAY! I finally posted this! How did you guys like it?**

**So here's what I'm thinking:**

**If you need help with an issue (or you just feel like making some insane problem up), you tell me. I help you. You get into this story. Sound goode? Well, if it does there will be many more chapters to come.**

**DISCLAIMER: **

**Bex: What do you think of my hair?**

**Grant: Ugh. . . it looks like you spent more time on it than Ally Carter spent writing this series in which only she owns!**

***Way to get out of that one, Grant*  
><strong>

**Hope you like?**

**Review?**

**~m**


	2. The Curious Case of Bexxi Baxter

Chapter 2: The Curious Case of Bexxi Baxter

I was literally just about to pass out, when I got a text from Bex.

**Dude! **She said, **Grant won't respond to my texts! I asked him if he liked me and now he won't respond!**

_Dude. It's like 3 in the morning. He's probably asleep. _Like any other sane person, I added to myself.

**No he isn't! He ALWAYS says up this late! Trust me, I know from experience.**

_He probably just fell asleep. Stop jumping to conclusions, man._

**But I need to know if he likes me!**

_Maybe he just needs some time to think about it. Give him some space._

**I don't even know if I like him! How do I know if I like him?**

_Make a list of reasons why you like him. 10 or more. And nothing stupid like: "Because his hair is brown."_

**I should have put that ;)**

**Anyway . . .**

**1. smart**

**2. kind**

**3. caring**

**4. easy to talk to**

**5. understanding**

**6. loving**

**7. compassionate**

**8. will stay up talking to me all night**

**9. super sweet**

**10. athletic**

Supremely nauseated from this, I responded:

_1. smart: validated_

_2. kind: invalidated (same as 3)_

_3. caring: invalidated (same as 2)_

_4. easy to talk to (I'm easy to talk to, and the last time I checked, you weren't in love with me.)_

_5. understanding: validated_

_6. loving: invalidated (same as 7)_

_7. compassionate: invalidated (same as 6)_

_8. will stay up talking to you all night: true, but he does that with me._

_9. super sweet: invalidated (so are dogs. I'll buy you a puppy.)_

_10. athletic (not gonna lie . . . he's got some abs, man.)_

_~Translation By: Macey McHenry_

**But I really like him, dude!**

_Idk, man. Just think about it._

**Okay. Love ya. Night.**

_L8er._

* * *

><p>Hi there, self,<p>

I'm back. Just wrote to say goodnight. And talk a bit. I looked out my window and it was poring like nuts. Yipee. I can here my father snoring, and my mother sleep talking. I just opened my window. The rain smells , I think I've had enough of you for one night. Catch ya later.

Yours truly,

~Macey McHenry

* * *

><p>Just minutes later, right after I said good night to Bex, my phone buzzed.<p>

I wasn't really surprised when it was Cam. Probably trying to threaten or blackmail me (and possibly, even both.)

**Okay, so let's make a deal. You get to meet Zach. But I get to have me revenge . . . which would be teasing you about Jonas or Grant, and even Jake.**

Oh, yeah! So my best friend's new hobby was to make fun o me about my other best friends' lovers! They teased me about how much I had a secret passion for Jonas, and also about how much I was in love with Grant (which was honestly a purely repulsive idea, to me). Here was the deal, Jonas and Liz were having an "under the radar" relationship, and Grant had just dumped Bex. And Bex was still trying to win him back.

So, now, they thought that Grant liked me *gag, while Cam also tended to tease me about Jake. My Neighbor.

But the other day, he pretty much called me an ugly beast, so now I'm over that twisted scum-bag.

I quickly replied:

_I DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE when you tease me about those boys because:_

_ 1. Liz and Jonas are in love_

_ 2. Bex is In love with Grant. And I totally know she's jealous._

_ 3. Jacob questioned my gender last night. Which was extremely rude._

Her quick response was slightly entertaining:

**Hahaha. Bex is jealous? Sucker. WTF IS WRONG WITH JACOB? NO. . .YOU KNOW WHAT, NO! I AM ON MY WAY, BUTTERCUP! THAT IS MESSED UP! Wtf happened?**

_Hahhaah. Oh, I love you. You kind, kind soul. Anyway, we were hanging out and stuff outside with some of the other neighbor guys, tacking each other for this rubber ball and stuff. So then one of the guys was like: " throw it at her boobs!" and then he said, "she doesn't have any."_

_And a lot more crap like that._

**WHAT? WHY DO YOU TELL ME THIS? YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO BLOW A GASKIT! UUURRRRRGGGHHH! WHY ARE GUYS SUCH JERKS TO YOU? YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, I DON'T GET IT! RAWR I'M A UNICORN! AND I'M GOING TO COME AND STICK MY HORN THROUGH HIS HEAD! AND FRANK WILL HELP ME! AHH I'M VERY MAD AT THIS JACOB JACKASS RIGHT NOW!**

Frank was her unicorn pillow pet ;)

_It's fine, I'm over it._

**Just a little peeved at the douche bag.**

Haha.

_Yeah, me too._

* * *

><p>Dear self,<p>

Good night for real this time. See you in the morning.

~m

* * *

><p>Hello there, self,<p>

It is me again. This morning, I said to my mom, "So Mom, I was thinking-" But then she cut me off saying: "Honey, you should really stop doing that. You know it makes your brain swell!" As you can see, my family makes it a point to daily recognize my highest levels of insanity. They're just great.  
>I'm reading a really sad book, and Its just so hard to think that the author isn't Nicholas Sparks. I know that's really biased. It's just that he has never actually written anything full of happiness or anything similar. Which is highly depressing.<br>I would really like to go finish up that book now, but I'm just too scared that the mother's best friend with cancer may die, and the mother's daughter will never get her true love because of that whole stupid "my mom died and i'm not ready for a relationship thing." This also saddens me deeply.  
>Today, I had a nice conversation with someone of whom I honestly try to avoid by all cause talking to. I was very proud of myself in the end. This person shall remain nameless. I am very tired. I just ate some taquitos. I know I just spelled that wrong. Not caring.<br>Well I think I'll go finish up that depressing book now.  
>Chat with ya later, self.<p>

Love  
>~m<p>

* * *

><p>Dear Self,<br>It's me again. My dad just told me I smell like wet dog. Isn't my family the best? Anyway, I finished the depressing book. So then I went out and bought the sequel. And I finished it around midnight. It was very very sad. Her lover dumps her at the prom. What kind of douche-bag would do that? He dumps her. And then his momma dies of cancer. Karma bites back. I cried. Eventually, she finds love with her ex-lovers younger brother...who is amazing. I am passionately in love with that boy. His name is Jeremiah...he is so so so nice. But apparently, in the 3rd book (which isn't out yet) he cheats on her. So I'm horrified of what will happen next. Spare me.

I'm spending the night at my Aunt's house tonight. She's the best. We like to stay up late and eat ice cream and watch girlie movies. She gets lonely. That's why I like to visit her. Hope I can find a decent movie to watch by tonight. Keep your fingers crossed...(if you even have fingers?)

Thank you for listening to me.

Bored out of her mind,

~m

* * *

><p>Dear Self,<br>I want to meet a cute boy named Charlie and elope to some sandy beach that has strawberry milkshakes and really nice tasting cupcakes. I wanna meet "the one" already.

I know you don' care,  
>~m<p>

* * *

><p>Dear Self,<br>Why can't life be easy? If you can give me this answer I would be eternally grateful. Oh, wait. You can't talk.  
>Thanks for such inspiring words of wisdom. I think I might go find something better to do than scribble my feelings into a lousy book.<p>

I'm never writing to you again,

~m

* * *

><p>Dear Self,<br>Okay, I lied. I'm back. I decided that even though I'm still bored, It's even boringer in other places. It's like that thing my mom always says when I complain how its too hot outside. She says, "There's a hotter place." This hotter place is hell. And she is saying that I might end up visiting there quite soon if I don't stop complaining. My head hurts now so I'm gonna go.

Catch you later

~m

* * *

><p>Dear Self,<br>It is 4:09 in the morning. Day of the Royal Wedding. I am currently sitting with Cammie, and we are eating cake. The Royal Wedding was spectacularly boring. I can't believe we have been waiting the last 5 hours for that piece of nonsense.  
>I really need to use the restroom. Anyway, I was on spring break this week. I fell in love. Too bad I don't even know his name and I will never ever see him again in my life. I am saddened. Cam just gave me an idea. She said that his name should be Charlie and we will elope to a sandy beach, eat nice tasting strawberry milkshakes, and end up marrying each other. Oh never mind. She just told me that would never happen. There goes that dream.<br>Anyway, I got to go.  
>Catch ya later.<p>

~m

* * *

><p>Today was spectacularly boring.<p>

We aren't really learning much because summer is coming near (And I can totally tell my teachers are counting down are days until they are finally rid of us. Until next year, that is).

And now you may be wondering, "How is dearest Rebecca? Is that curious child satisfied with Grant's answer? Crap . . . what was Grant's answer.

It went something like this:

Grant: Hey Bexxi (*insert bashful smile here*)

Bex: Leave me alone, fagot.

Or words to that effect. Because I'm actually pretty sure that Bex would never be caught dead saying "fagot," but I think it'd sound good coming from her. You know, with her British accent and everything.

Grant: Sorry I fell asleep.

Bex: Thank you Captain Obvious. So do you like me or not?

As you can see, Bex likes to get right to the point of things. Which is probably why she is so violent. She can save lots of precious time by skipping small talk, and punching right in the face. Gotta love her.

Grant: You're welcome, Lieutenant Sarcasm. And no . . .

Me: It's because you're gay isn't it?

Grant: Excuse me. When the hell did you get into this conversation?

Me: Don't give me lip, boy!

Bex: *No response.

At least that's how it went in my mind, anyway.

* * *

><p>Dear Self,<br>So I read the trequel to that depressing series. It turns out that the younger brother cheats on her in Cabo, so to make it up to her or something stupid like that, he proposes. Being the hormonal teenage girl that she is, she says yes. The day of the wedding she and the older brother decide they have feelings for each other, and they ditch the younger brother and get married. What was this author thinking? Who would be stupid enough to date brothers? You can't just come and go as you please, girl!  
>I'm done talking to you.<br>Later.

~mchenry

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yay. New chapter. *happy dance* anyway, thank you so so so so much for all "problems" and whatnots. Which are extremely helpful and will probably be in the next chapter. Thank you so much!**

**Review!**

**~m**


	3. Letters to Juliet

Chapter 3: Letters to Juliet

New Message.

_Dear Macey,_

_I need your help. My supposed best friend is getting carried away with the popular crowd. They took her shopping, and she's going to the dance with their group tonight. I'm just feeling rejected. I need your help._

_Signed,_

_~Anonymous_

Constructing reply:

**Dearest Anonymous,**

**It's always hard when friendships break apart, and I know you two have been through a lot. Maybe you should just tell her how you feel. Even though I'm sure you don't want to, I think you should go to the dance tonight. Just go have fun! Meet some new people! And most importantly, dance! If your friend is really who you think she is, she'll understand how you feel. Glad to be of service. *insert solute motion here***

**Yours truly,**

**~Macey McHenry**

* * *

><p>Dear Self,<p>

I'm craving pizza right now. And I can't do ANYTHING about it at all! Why? It's 2 in the morning and we don't have any pizza! Life sucks and then you die.

Yours truly,

~Macey McHenry

* * *

><p><span>New Message.<span>

_Dear Macey,_

_Here is my friend's issue:_

_There's a guy she likes but they were classmates in 4th, 5th, and 6th grade and are currently in the same school. Her friend likes him too. She would be willing to give him up for her best friend (because her best friend liked him since kindergarten). What in the world should she do?_

_Help me._

_~Skye_

**Dear Skye,**

**This girl, whoever she is, must really like this boy. But no matter what, you can never let boys come over your friends. Boyfriends come and go, but best friends are forever. Don't let any of this come between the girls. They have obviously known this guy for a long time, but boys should never get in the way of a friendship.  
>And what does the guy think about this? Does he like either of them? if he chooses one, and the other is heartbroken, or vice versa, then they both may have to give him up.<br>But friends ALWAYS COME BEFORE BOYS.  
>Because when they guy gets sick of you, they will dump you like yesterdays trash.<br>And you need those friends there to pick you back up.**

~m

New Message.

_Mace,_

_There's a brand new guy at school... he flirts with all the girls but says he doesn't want a girlfriend. The one girl he never flirts with really likes him, but he's intimidating and she doesn't know how to flirt. HELP MACEY!_

_~Gabi_

**Dear Gabi,**

**Do not fear! For help is on the way. ;) Anyway, it sounds to me like you don't know too much about this guy. I mean, he's new! And there could be plenty of perfectly good reasons why he wouldn't want a girlfriend! Maybe, he had a bad reputation as a player at his old school, and he wants to "change" or something. Maybe, he's gay! Maybe, his mom died of cancer last year and really doesn't feel like a relationship right now. The point is: you never know! So get to know him! Have your friend talk to him a bit. Learn more about him. What does he do when he's bored? Do you guys have anything in common? Have her mysteriously forget a homework assignment and ask him what it is! Etcetera. There are ton of possibilities. She just needs to work through the barrier. Give her a bit of a confidence boost and send her on her way to make Mystery Man fall passionately in love with her. **

**Best of Luck,**

**~Mace **

**P.s. Can you tell from the way I'm talking that I've read way too many romance novels lately?**

* * *

><p>Dear Self,<p>

Because we are pretty much just bored like that, my friends and I tend to write letters (Yes! With actual pens!) to each other. We don't mail them or anything (postage just costs way too much these days!). So, we hand them off in between classes. . .

* * *

><p><em>Ello Macey,<em>

_Alas! I am writing to you yet again. . .I feel British. You have left class early for a mental health appointment although you claim it is for your "throat." Is that what kids are calling it nowadays? Anyways, you have left me with Bex *cringe….why have you forsaken me? (Love you, Bexxi_

_I am excited for track practice today. I like my new running shoes xD_

_Ugh, that evil demon (Mrs. Larbonski) just gave us work, so I must bid you ado. Bye. Love you!_

_~Cameron_

* * *

><p><strong>Macey!<strong>_  
><em>

**HELP ME! I think I'm going insane! I'm totally torn here, babe! I like both of them—Jonas **_**and **_**Charlie! Both of them talk to me 24/7 and are always there for me and are so sweet and…and. Help me! God, just help me choose one! I'm losing it.**

**Love,**

**~Liz**

* * *

><p><em>Dearest Liz,<em>

_First of all, DO NOT go all Bella Swan on me! When she had to choose between her werewolf and vampire, she started seeing things and jumped off a cliff. THERE WILL BE NO CLIFF JUMPING FOR YOU, ELIZABETH! I _will _put you in a straight jacket. Do not test me, woman. But, anyway, back to your lovers. Think about it Liz, you've spent _five days of your life _with this Charlie guy. Think about it! You barely even know that guy, Lizzie. It just isn't enough time for a valid relationship to build. And you _know _Jonas. You've gone to school with him, you've hung out with him, you _know _him. And he chances of you seeing the "beloved" Charlie again are very, very slim. Just think about it, honey._

_Yours truly,_

_~Macey McHenry_

* * *

><p><strong>Dear Macey,<strong>

**I have chosen Jonas. Thank you for your help.**

**Always,**

**~Liz**

* * *

><p><strong>Macey McHenry,<strong>

**I have changed my mind. And now I'm stuck. Help me!**

**Desperately,**

**~Liz**

* * *

><p><em>Dear Liz,<em>

_I know this is a difficult decision in our life. But, honey, take this seriously. It's not like you're actually going to marry any of these people. So (for lack of a better statement), build a bridge and get over it. You know what is right in your heart. Maybe you should listen to it for once._

_Yours truly,_

_~Macey McHenry_

* * *

><p><strong>Dear Macey,<strong>

**I may be a genius, but you're definitely the boy genius. Love you bunches.**

**Sincerely Faithful, and Always Yours,**

**~Liz**

**Dear Macey, **

**Jonas told me there was a country named after him. I think I move there someday.**

**Forever & Always (I love that song!),**

**~Liz**

* * *

><p><em>McHenry,<em>

_We are currently sitting in math class…you are sitting across from complaining about how you're burning up. I iz sorry =/ Math is very boring. I have no idea at all what we are talking about. But hey, it's math. I never know what we're talking about._

_~Cam_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sincere apologies for being MIA for the past...oh idk...months?...weeks? anyway, i'm sorry for that.**

**how was the chap? eh? eh?**

**review xD**

**send me problems xD**

**review xD**_  
><em>


	4. Grant Newman 101

**~Part1: Grant Newman 101~**

New Text Message:

From Grant Newman?

_Hey! Please talk to me! I don't mean to sounds needy or anything, hahah._

**Hi there, **I replied lazily.

I think I was mostly confused because:

1. this guy never text me

2. he never responds

3. it was 3 in the morning

Who the hell texts at this hour anyway?

Obviously, he did.

He responded quickly – which was out of character.

_Whatsup?_

Dude, it's three in the morning and you wanna know "what is up"? What the hell are you on and do you got any extra?

**Nothing really. It's 3 in the morning, I'm eating minty ice cream, and reminiscing on my days as a professional sword fighter. Wbu? **I answered sarcastically.

_Haha, that's cool, _he said, _I'm working on the book I'm writing._

Hmm. Grant Newman, writing a book. Now that's _really _out of character.

**Cool beans. What's it about?**

_Superheroes/villains_

**That's interesting.**

_Yeah, so I hear you're a good writer. Will you edit it?_

Oh, so _that's _what he wanted.

**Sure,** I answered, **Give it to me in class tomorrow.**

_Thanks._

**No problemo.**

_So whatsup?_

Again with the "whatsup."

**Still nothing. Wbu?**

_Tina's a bitch._

**Hahahha. Well we already knew that. What'd she do this time?**

_I don't wanna tell you…._

**Okay.**

_Fine, I'll tell you. Well I went to this party and met this really nice chick and then she texted me and pretended to be the nice chick._

As you can see, I really had to work it out of him.

**Well that sucks.**

_Yeah she just texted me and was like, "Oh hey! Just kidding! It was me the whole time!"And I reallllly started liking her too!_

**Wow. Wtf.**

_Exactly. Any advice?_

**If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it was meant to be. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it. Maybe we could kill Tina?**

_Lol._

**Sounds like a plan.**

_L8r._

* * *

><p><strong>~Part 2: Dear Therapist—I mean, Macey!~<strong>

Dear Self,

I've been writing a lot of poetry lately. Maybe if you're nice to me I'll show you some.

Yours truly,

~macey mchenry

* * *

><p><em>Macey,<em>

_My problem is kinda long because it takes a lot of explaining...My problem is really my friends and a guy. Friends that like to meddle in my  
>love life (along with my maths class but that's a different story) A few<br>months ago this girl thought that I liked this guy when it was actually one of  
>my friends. She announced it in my maths class, a class in which he is in, and<br>from then on he's either avoided me, acted like an idiot and the latest thing  
>is randomly talking to me on facebook once asking if I was going to the disco,<br>my friends are saying that he likes me but I talked to him about the whole  
>acting like an idiot thing ad he told me that he knew I didn't like him in<br>that way and I don't know, he might've looked a little disappointed. But I  
>don't know, I've never been good with boys. I am so CONFUSED! I don't want to<br>go out with him or anything but I don't know if I like him. Then there's the  
>issue of, does he like me? *sigh* Why is my life so complicated? HELP! I want<br>my friends to leave me alone and I don't know what I want the guy to do!_

_~Life is Confusing_

**Dear Life is Confusing,**

**All people are different. And I have a feeling that this guy might like you. Some people tend to avoid the people they like at all costs. And sometimes I'm totally like that. As far as your friends go, that's what friends do. It's like a part time job. Hope I helped?**

**~Mace**

* * *

><p><em>Hi<em>  
><em>Okay I'm really confused there's this guy and his like older than me (7yrs) and he likes me and I know him very well his nice and everything but last time he asked me if I have BF and I didn't answer him (texting). And since then he doesn't talk to me but he only stareslooks at me. The reason I didn't answer him is because very guy that's asks me that ends up asking me to their girlfriend and I don't think I should go out with him if his older than me. What do you think?_  
><em>Love Liz<em>

**Liz,**

**Look, 7 years is a lotttt of time  
>usually, when you look at the results of other relationships with such an age gap, abuse is involved. The people are usually just using each other.<br>But I guess it depends on how well you know him  
>do you think he's the type of guy to use you? Think about it.<br>Love,  
>~m<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Well, I guess I can think of one of my problems. Okay, so this guy once told me that he was in love with me on google chat at the end of the school year. He kinda asked me out, but we didn't really do anything. Then suddenly, I went on vacation, and when I got back, we stopped talking. I don't really like him anymore, but I feel really guilty because he compliments me and obviosly still likes me. I haven't really thought much about this, but I'm starting to listen to The Story of Us by Taylor Swift more...:) So, should I just ignore him (which would make me feel really guilty) or should I talk to him (which would make me feel extremely awkward, even though it seems like the right choice)? I'm kind of scared to talk to him. Help!<em>

_~Škÿę_

**Hey Skye,  
>Anyway, why did he stop talking to you? Maybe you should ask him. I think you should give him a chance. Don't make anything official, but try to get to know him a little better, hang out, and see if you start to grow attached to him. How's that sound?<br>Love,  
>~m<strong>

**P.s. I just read your profile, I'd like to hear about Derek ;)**

**P.s.s. Is this mystery guy Derek?**

**P.s.s.s. Are you still with Derek.**

**P.s.s.s.s. I apologize for being so nosy.**

* * *

><p>AN: I updated. *cue the applause*

like it? eh? eh?

review**  
><strong>


	5. Notes from a Loner and Her Pillowpet

**A/N: Warning: extremely long chapter :)**

* * *

><p><strong>~Chapter 5: Notes From a Loner and Her Pillowpet~<strong>

Dear Self,

It is one a.m. Early, I know. I am awake because A) I can't sleep and B) I am currently arranging Cameron's love life with the help of Jonas. (It turns out he's softer than a toasted marshmallow.) Our diabolical plan: get Zach and Cam together by locking them in a room and praying that something happens. Aren't we just the greatest?

Yours truly,

~Macey McHenry

* * *

><p>Dear Self,<p>

I took it upon yourself to purchase a unicorn Pillowpet last Tuesday. She is a ladybug. Her name is Sa5mantha. (and yes, the 5 is silent.) Everyone say hello to Sa5mantha. Don't pretend like you didn't hear me, say hello! Jeeeez. Anyway, I have a feeling. And that feeling is that Sa5m has a crush on Frank. Who is Frank? Oh, he's Cam's Pillowpet. He is a unicorn. I shall tell him you say hello. Anyway, so one day at Cameron's, we left them alone together, and when we came back in, they were _kissing._ It was cute. (Me and Jonas are kinda hoping for the same affect with Zach and Cam.) SA5MANTHA AND FRANK SITTING IN A TREE—K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Get some!

Yours truly,

~Macey McHenry

* * *

><p><em>Macey,<em>

_Okay my problem is that there's this guy I like a lot and he thinks that I hate him because he liked me a couple of years ago and now he doesn't and I just found out he used to like me when we were talking and he's like how did you feel when I liked you last year and since I just found out I said I'd get back to him and I don't know what to say since he doesn't like me anymore and I like him now. I really wanna tell him I like him but I don't want him to stop being my friend and my other friend likes him and has dated him and so has one of my other friends Please help me. _

_~Lilli_

* * *

><p><strong>Dear Lilli,<strong>

**This sounds like a pretty sucky situation and I am so sorry that you're in it. Okay, how are you sure he doesn't like you still? If he asked you, maybe he does? If your friends like him though, and have dated him, then I'm not quite sure. Things don't usually turn out too well when friends date each others' exes. . .**

**~m**

* * *

><p><em>Dear Mace, <em>

_I need a cure for cramps._

_Thanks,_

_~In Pain_

**Macey McHenry's Four Easy Steps to Take Your Mind Off **_**It.**_

Mother Nature called. She said, "Screw you." Your back aches, you feel like someone's stabbing a knife into your gut, you just can't fall asleep, and when your little cousin just _doesn't _understand why you won't play Barbie's with her, you just wanna scream. Yeah, it's _that _time of the month.

**1. Drug up. No, not like that, you crack head. Either A) take some Midol or B) get your hands on some freaking Tylenol.**

**2. Distract yourself. Watch your favorite movie. Jog around the block (but probably not). Hack into your Great Aunt's laptop and read fanfiction. Write a novel. Whatever it is you do, do it. Start writing that long-ass History essay due next month. Text your lover. Try out some of those yoga moves mom's been practicing for her "new weight loss scheme." Sing opera music. Bake brownies. Just do something.**

**3. Eat. Eat that carton of ice cream you've been saving for your next chick flick. Eat those brownies I just told you to make. Eat those really great empanadas that your Gramma made and are calling your name from their Ziploc bag in the freezer.**

**4. Eat chocolate. Now, this, had to be separate from just "eat." Because chocolate is just that amazing. It is scientifically proven in McHenry Laboratories that chocolate takes away cramps. Bananas also have the same affect. So, if you don't like chocolate, eat bananas. If you don't like bananas, eat chocolate. If you feel ambitious try a chocolate covered banana. If you don't like either, get help.**

* * *

><p>Dear Self,<p>

Good news! Sa5mmy is pregnant! With Frank's babies! Yayyyy. Have you ever seen a Unicorn-Ladybug-Pillowpet- Mix before? Nope. Well, I haven't either, so this should be interesting.

Love,

~mace

* * *

><p>Dear Self,<p>

I just had the greatest idea. And is to write a book. What kind of book? Oh, just a guy's guide. To girls. This is pretty much what I got so far. Lemme know whatcha think?

~m

* * *

><p><span>Cliques, Chicks, and Other Things Guys Just Don't Get<span>

_There are pretty much a few different types of girls . . ._

A) Those who _think_ they're cool. (bitches.)

B) Those who don't try, but automatically fall into the category of cool (usually jocks or just unusual people who are just way too happy.)

C) Those who hate life.

D) The Shy (usually confused for categories A and C.)

E) Social Outcasts (misunderstood, or just flat out crazy.)

F) Us Normal Human Beings.

_It's usually the same categories for guys. And most guys go for either A or B. So what does that mean? That us girls should morph into bitches who think they are cool. No. It does not. Occasionally, a guy will use his brain, so there will be no need for that._

Here's a little thing or two guys really should know:

If you (being a boy) are talking with Samantha and she says that sally is category A (see above), you continue to respond: "What? Sally? Oh no. She's so nice!" Which is wrong. You and Samantha are like super close friends right? Good. You should be because Samantha is awesome. Anyway, _of course, _you don't think Sally's a psychotic female dog. Because the only reason Sally is a psychotic female dog is because of you. Yes, you there, with the Y chromosome! These days, girls in certain categories look at other girls NOT as friends, but competition. Competition for _you_, the boy. She is nice to you. We get that. But she's a biotch to all or most of the other girls. To scare them off. To mark her territory. To stake her claim. Just like any other female dog. So, if you and Samantha are like bestest friends in the world forever eternal life or whatever, then believe _Samantha._ Keep in mind that if you _aren't _bestest friends in the world forever eternal life, then maybe _Samantha _is the bitch and Sally's the nice one. But it's just a thought.

What girls do with other girls, especially not boys:

_We really aren't as interesting as you think we are._

1. Listen to music, lay in each others' beds, and text.

2. Gossip and eat chocolate.

3. Pig out.

4. Watch sappy rom-coms and eat ice cream out of the carton.

5. Sit in our bras and shorts, giving each other massages.

6. Do each others' hair.

each others' makeup.

8. Compare bras.

9. Talk.

10. Prank call.

11. Talk some more.

* * *

><p><strong>M~<strong>

**AHHHHH! Emergency! Oh, and about Derek (you asked about it)? Ewww! He's my brother!**

**Back to my emergency. So I was in Beijing, China, you know? And I went to a camp for people from other countries and stuff (like me) that have Chinese parents and speak Chinese and stuff. This boy I used to know (from fencing and school) was also in the camp. Anyways, he was always talking to me and trying to get my attention and everything. All of my friends in that group (from our Chinese school, in the suburbs of Chicago) were telling me he liked me. There was a problem though. He's a year younger than me. And that was my excuse for not liking him. My friends decided to ask him if he liked me or not.**

**The conversation went like this:**  
><strong>"Do you like Skye?"<strong>

**"No?"**

**"Do you like her as a friend?"**

**"Yes"**

**"Do you like her as more than friends?"**

**Then he blushed and said, "Kinda..."**

**But later he was like, "I only said yes to one question!"**

**And there was this other random guy I did not know who my friends thought liked me too. We named him Bob.**

**So on the last day, my friend asked me if I wanted her to tell him I liked him. I told her to ask him if he wanted me to like him before telling him. (Was that a bad idea? I am not the boy expert.)But then the other guy, (Bob) came with my friends to play cards. When I left the room to ask my sister something, they interrogated him.**

**"Bob, do you like Skye?" (Yes, we called him Bob, and he wasn't that happy about it.)**

**"Who the *beep* told you my name was BOB?"**

**"Do you like her?"**

**"Perhaps a bit...maybe."**

**Then my friends came and told me about it, proving both of their theories correct. Urghhh.**

**Later, he asked my best friend to tell me that he liked me. And my BFF told me. She asked me what I wanted to tell him. And I told her to tell him I was taken. (Because all of my friends joked that I liked the first guy and we were going to get married...)**

**She just laughed and said, "No really, what should I say?"**

**I told her to say that I liked the first guy. (BTW, his name is Jesse...it's getting tiring to write "the first guy")**

**"But you're going to break his heart! He's going to cry because of you!"**

**"Too bad." (I did feel guilty though.)**

**"But...you're probably the 500th girl that rejected him!"**

**"Sorry!"**

**Yeah...and later, we went to the zoo, and saw pandas! I managed to convince myself that you-know-who (I can't type his name!) didn't like me. We were walking around, when I met a guy from Belgium! I started talking to him a lot, and you-know-who kept trying to get my attention.**

**Either way, I decided that I really like you-know-who. But I won't see him again until high school! Or maybe at Chinese school, but only for a few seconds.**

**Help meeeee! I can't stop thinking about him, and I feel like he's not just a random guy I like. Before when I knew him, I kinda liked him, but I'm sure he never thought of me that way. And now? I'm crying over him. What should I do?**

**There's something special about him, and my heart hurts when I think about him. I have never ever ever liked a guy that much before...**

**So, I have a few questions for you.**  
><strong>1. Well, what should I do?<strong>  
><strong>2. Do you think he likes me? (Everyone thinks so, but...)<strong>  
><strong>3. What do you think about Bob? Was I being mean? I feel really guilty...<strong>  
><strong>that really long?<strong>  
><strong>5. Are my friends being nice friends or were they just too nosy?<strong>  
><strong>(Trying to make us sit together, pushing us closer to each other, calling out "wait for your bride!" to him...)<strong>  
><strong>6. Any other thoughts?<strong>  
><strong>7. Does it matter how old I am and how young he is? (I'm 12, going to 8th grade, he's 11, going to 6th)<strong>

**Thank you so much! :) You are a true boy expert. How do you do it?**

**-Skye ;)**

_Dear Skye,  
><em>

_That was one hell of a letter and it was actually pretty funny. I'm not sure if i was supposed to be laughing, but i was cracking up the whole time, Hahahhaha.  
><em>

_Okay, so it sounds like you-know-who likes you. If he kept trying to get your attention while a random Belgium guy was chatting it up with you at the zoo, then what else could it be?  
><em>

_Okay, when your friends asked Jesse if he liked you and he said that thing about "Only saying yes to one question," he probably knew they would ask. He lost sleep over when they would ask. He stayed up all night banging his head against the wall thinking: "omg omg omg i hope i didn't creep Skye out blahhh i don't know what to do ahhhhhh"  
>and then (*bang!*) brilliance popped into his mind. And then he thought up that brilliant response.<br>_

_As far as Bob goes, do you actually know his real name? I'm honestly curious about this and it's actually kinda gonna bug me.  
><em>

_Okay, anyway. It's okay to be a heart-breaker sometimes, girl. You don't wanna lead a guy on because you feel bad for him. Because then you'd be a **. Sorry that was harsh, but you get the point right?  
><em>

_Okay, what should you do? Well, I don't know get his number. His email? Somethin' because if you are only gonna see him at Chinese school for the next two years, then that's crappy and I'm pretty sure that if you wanna like..."start a relationship," then that's not the way to do it 'cause you can't talk to him and stuff. So yeah. Figure out a way to keep in contact. Maybe you could do something really cheesy like in Dear John (the movie). You know, write long sappy letters, and mail them to each other. It'd be cute. But postage isn't cheap these days xD just kidding.  
><em>

_Anyway, yes Skye, that was really long.  
><em>

_Are your friends being nice? Hell yes, they are. It's funny. It's cute. Like if your friends DIDN'T make fun of you, it'd be concerning. Like, either they knew you wouldn't have a chance with him, or they just didn't give a crap.  
><em>

_So, personally, I don't think they're bein' nosy.  
><em>

_Any other thoughts? Yeah. Tomorrow is Tuesday. Which means its Chinese take out night in my home. I'm pretty sure it's not authentic Chinese food, but I'll still think of you and Jesse and your Chinese school romances to come when I eat it.  
><em>

_Does it matter how old you are? Eh...idk good question. It sounds like you REALLY REALLY REALLY like this guy. Like, I know a ton of desperate 8th graders who date 6th and 7th graders. It's usually because they're desperate and at the bottom of the food chain. But I don't think you're desperate, or at the bottom of the food chain. And I don't know what your schoolmates are like, but you might get some crap for it. You know, being a cougar and all ;) jk. I give one of my friends crap for it all the time xD its great.  
><em>

_Anyway, I know this one girl who is dating this one guy and he's a grade lower than us. He has blackmailed her in ways that I'm not comfortable sharing. So Skye, do not let anyone blackmail you. Have fun with Jesse. Forget about Bob. What happened to that Belgium Zoo guy? Because, if it's not workin' out with J-man, the Belgium's have awesome waffles._

_Yours truly,_

_~Macey McHenry_

_P.S. How do I do it? Good question._

**M~**

**Haha! I don't know if it was meant to be funny, but yours was funny too. Thanks so much! :) And American Chinese food isn't actual Chinese food, but it still tastes good. Well...get ready for another long letter. (I tend to write long letters a lot...)  
><strong>

**I think Bob's real name was Matthew. I have to tell you a story! It was hilarious!  
><strong>

**Anyways, when we got to camp, we got these packages of random stuff including: a fan, a dictionary (Chinese), 2 pens, and some post-its. My sister got an Angry Birds fan. Chinese people are obsessed with angry birds and plants vs. zombies! It's weird! Wait...you do know what Angry Birds is, right? Well...anyways, the fan went missing that day.  
><strong>

**It turned up 3 days later in the closet with an odd note...**

_**Find your fan? Mwahahaha**_  
><em><strong>*evil laugh*<strong>_

_**R.B.**_

_**Rob Buckinshnub**_

**So my sister and I went around randomly knocking on doors and screaming. "ARE YOU ROB BUCKINSHNUB?"**

**We creeped a lot of people out...**

**Then we went up to the boys floor and asked random people if they were Rob. When we got to you-know-who's room, he tried to dangle the note out the window. And his roommate refused to show us his handwriting. So the girls and I came up with a theory that they snuck into our room and hid the fan with the note on it to freak us all out.**

**We still don't know who Rob Buckinshnub is for sure though. My friend's iPod player went missing the next day.**

**That night, all the girls were sitting in our room, and we were freaking out about some maniac mass-murderer coming in our room through the closet to kill us in our sleep. Eventually, we calmed down a bit by hugging a stuffed animal turtle.**

**And the next day, the girls all accused you-know-who and his friend. Then he leaned into me and said, "I didn't do it!"**

**So I panicked and shoved him away...:-/**

**My friends were all like, "awwww look at those two pandas hugging! It's Skye and you-know-who!"**

**So...thanks for your advice and everything. Poor Bob though...:(**

**When I was younger I convinced myself that I wouldn't break any hearts...*sniffle***

**My friends were all saying that I was a bad girl because I had two "lovers"...possible 3, because they also think Bob's best friend likes me too!**

**And this other guy who we questioned about Rob Buckinshnub, named Ogre (not really, we made it up) kept randomly appearing and talking about how there were 8-Twelves, like 7-Eleven, but that's not important.**

**I don't know what happened to the Belgium Zoo guy...he was eating a chicken wing the last time I saw him...**

**Thanks for helping!**

**~§кʎє **

**P.S. Do you ever have boy troubles? What happened to Preston anyways? :)****  
><strong>**P.P.S. Is it even P.P.S.? Or is it P.S.S.? I think it's P.P.S...great, now I have to write another one...****  
><strong>**P.P.P.S. Are YOU Rob Buckinshnub? ;)  
><strong>

_Oh Skye,_

_Hahahahhah I was laughing so hard when I was reading that! :)  
><em>

_Okay, so then do I have to go to China to get legit Chinese food? That's disappointing, hahaha.  
><em>

_Of course I know what angry birds is! My dad and brother play it at the dinner table for crying out loud! And its like the only shirt my brother wears. It's disgusting.  
><em>

_Hahahhahahahahahahahhahaha. I can just imagine that whole "running around shrieking are you Rob Buckinschnub bit." You must have freaked out a hell of a lot of people, hahahha.  
><em>

_Awww look at you two pandas hugging how adorable! ;D  
><em>

_Yeah, breaking hearts sucks. Me and Cam dedicated an entire day to "wallowing" last week. We literally just rented a ton of sad movies, bought a ton of ice cream, listened to Taylor Swift, and cried about our lives. It was great! YOu totally should try it sometime xD  
><em>

_But i feel bad for Bob/Matthew though . . . poor guy.  
><em>

_Do I have boy troubles? Eh kind of. I'm usually pretty good at stopping them before they happen._

_ What happened to Preston? Well, he died. It was tragic! Just kidding- he's still breathing (sadly). I pretty much just came to my senses and realized that he's a total player/douche-bag. Last I saw him was at a series of parties. He had a different girlfriend at each party. I feel bad for those poor naive souls.  
><em>

_But anyway, I kinda met a new guy. He's real nice :) total nerd, but real nice :)  
><em>

_I'm pretty sure its P.P.S but that's just a total guess!  
><em>

_Am I Rob Buckinschnub? Yes, Skye, I am. I flew all the way to China to steal your sister's angry birds fan and hang it in your closet._

_love,_

_~m_

**M~**_  
><em>

**:) Well...I guess you kind of have to. Unless you knew a Chinese person who can cook Chinese food for you. :)**  
><strong> I was just wondering if you knew. I don't think it's that fun though. All you do is shoot suicidal birds at suicidal pigs. (They're both suicidal because the pigs just sit there and die, and the birds just launch themselves at the pigs)<strong>

**I think I will try the "wallowing" thing. Why is it always ice cream though?**

**During my vacation, I actually realized that my school is really messed up. My friend was telling me about all the pregnancies, popular snobs, and guys who got put in jail. Yes, actual jail! *shudder***

**I'm the type of person that's in all the honors classes and gets straight A+'s, so I don't really know about...that stuff.**

**Hope the new guy likes you!**

**You're Rob Buckinshnub? B-b-but I trusted you! Now I'm going to go hide in a corner and cry all day.**

** Guess what? I'm going to NY soon! My mom decided that she needs to go somewhere to help with the jet lag from China. It's also a reward for me, because I gave a speech in Chinese at the summer camp. :) I'm awesome aren't I? lol...**

** ~§кyє **

** P.P.P.S. Would you be creeped out if I said I was a mass murderer hiding in your closet, waiting to murder you when you're asleep?**  
><strong> Sweet dreams, Rob!<strong>

_Skye,  
><em>

_I know some Chinese people. Although I'm not quite sure if they'd be wiling to cook for me.  
><em>  
><em>Omg! Finally someone who agrees with me! I totally despise that game! I just don't see the fun in killing all those poor suicidal creatures. thank you!<em>

The wallowing thing is so much fun. And why ice cream? Because ice cream is like freaking awesome? Have you ever tried Mint Moose tracks Ice Cream? Its like the best thing in the world. Try it. Love it.

I'm also the "type of girl who get's straight A's in honors, brushes my teeth twice a day, and get's to bed at a decent our" (not really on the last one but shh!), but I also manage to ** off my teachers quite a lot and probably don't floss as much as I should. It's real fun xD So...I'm not all into "down with the ghetto getting arrested thing either" xD

And why thank you. He does like me :)

New York sounds so amazing! Never been but I hear it's awesome! :) have fun. Give a hobo a nickel for me! jk, you don't have to, haha.

Jeez, Skye! I was just kidding! There's no way in hell I'm Rob! Don't you think I could come up with a better name than Buckinschnub? Come on, you have to know by now that I'm WAY more creative than that. But I'm sure your lover knows who it is. Maybe you should ask him ;)

~m

A List of Things To Do When You Absolutely, Positively, Have Nothing Better To Waste Your Time On

A. Butt into someone else's love life. (it's actually quite fun.)

B. Go people watching. Find a bench, and just make weird faces at those brave enough to make eye contact with a freak like you.

C. Sing along to all the High School Musical Movies (Zach Efron is sooooo cute!).

D. Make up your own language.

E. Go outside and find a leaf. Trace the leaf on a piece of paper. Throw the paper in the trash can. Do not recycle.

F. Stand on a random street corner. Try to earn money by either begging, or performing.

G. Text your friend's ex-boyfriend saying, "It's because you're gay isn't it?" When he responds with: "What?" tell him to answer the friggin question already.

H. Make some Jell-o.

I. Wash your face like you're one of those celebrities on those never ending dumb-ass acne commercials.

J. Drink a _really _big glass of water.

K. Go inside your closet. Shut the door. Scream at the top of your lungs. Exit the closet. When your mom asks you about it at dinner, say you aren't sure what she's talking about.

* * *

><p>Dear Self,<p>

Why, yes. Yes I am sitting here, drinking iced tea and solving all your problems. It's better then History homework, though.

~m

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Super Duper long chapter for you people. You are welcome! Review. Because reading without reviewing is like making reservations for a super fancy, expensive restaurant, ordering nothing but water, and leaving. **

**Fav lines?**

**Did anyone laugh?**

**~m**


	6. Mind of McHenry

~Chapter 6: Mind of McHenry~

**_In the Mind of McHenry: A Note to Self..._**

_I've never really imagined myself as the kind of girl who could snag Mr. Perfect. Even though (apparently) I give great advice (because it seems like everyone else's love life is going just great, except for mine), I know all the right things to say, and just exactly what you should do, I don't have a boyfriend. Zip. Zero. Zilch._

_All the guys that like me are ...well...different (as you have learned from Preston), and I have high standards. When I was ranting to Bex about high standards the other night, she laughed in my face._

_"Dude, you're never gonna find someone with an accent, abs, and nice handwriting that isn't gay."_

_I told her to shut up 'cause a girl can dream._

_But, can we? Can we really? Where the hell is dreaming gonna get you when you're on a Salvadorian Mission with only a nail file for protection? Where can get you dreaming get you when it's life or death disabling a dirty bomb? Where can dreaming get you at three in the morning when you're craving some of Chef Louis' creme brulee? Where? Tell me. All that dreaming can get you in the last scenario is a wishful thought possibly maybe he sorta could have left some left overs...that might mysteriously disappear. But that's not the point. Dreaming. Dreaming can get you know where. Doing can get you somewhere. The trick is to chase your dreams._

_~m  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong><em>New Message<em>**

**_To: Cammie Morgan, Rebecca Baxter, Elizabeth Sutton  
><em>**

**_From: Macey McHenry  
><em>**

**_Subject: CLASSIFIED - IF I PLANNED THIS RIGHT, THIS MESSAGE WILL SELF-DESTRUCT  
><em>**

_Hey girls,  
><em>

_I know it's summer and all, and I miss you guys SO MUCH! Bex, I hope you're having fun in Cancun; Liz, don't fall asleep by the pool; Cam, try not to die of boredom on that godforsaken ranch in Nebraska.  
><em>

_I just wanted to chitchat and letcha guys know what's new :)  
><em>

_1. Daddy might buy one of the Hawaiian Islands. Spring Vacation? ;)  
><em>

_2. I got some new shoes. Yes, I know what you're thinking, "Wow, Macey, congratulations, it's only your 7,345,912nd 'new pair' this month. I hope you're happy with your spending." Well thank you. I am very happy with my spending.  
><em>

_3. I like someone.  
><em>

_Okay bye!  
><em>

_Love,  
><em>

_~m_

* * *

><p><strong><em>1 New Message<em>**

**_From: Rebecca Baxter_**

_**To: Macey McHenry**  
><em>

_I am going to use this opportunity to skip any casualties and get straight to the bloody point: TELL ME WHO YOU LIKE, BITCH._

_With Love,  
><em>

_Bexxi_

* * *

><p><strong><em>New Message<br>_**

**_To: Rebecca Baxter  
><em>**

_**From: Macey McHenry**  
><em>

_To my favorite bitch,_

_I like the neighbor.  
><em>

_Cheers,  
><em>

_~m_

* * *

><p><strong><em>1 New Message<br>_**

**_From: Cameron Morgan  
><em>**

_**To: Macey McHenry**  
><em>

_OMG MACE! _

_WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER? THIS IS BIG NEWS, GIRL!  
><em>

_BIG.  
><em>

_NEWS.  
><em>

_Wow, this is bizarre. It's obviously not Preston. God, I hope it's not Preston. You are SO out of his league. I bet he's like the most amazing guy ever and you're gonna ride of into the sunset in his carriage...aww..so romantic!  
><em>

_GIVE ME THE DEETS!  
><em>

_~cam_

* * *

><p><strong><em>New Message<br>_**

**_To: Cameron Morgan  
><em>**

_**From: Macey McHenry**  
><em>

_Okay. I'll try to make this as simple as possible for you.  
><em>

_I.  
><em>

_like.  
><em>

_my.  
><em>

_neighbor.  
><em>

_Me gusta el vecino. (that means 'ilikemyneighbor' in spanish! hehe)  
><em>

_He's hot.  
><em>

_and sweet.  
><em>

_and perfect.  
><em>

_the end.  
><em>

_~m  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong><em>1 New Message<br>_**

**_From: Elizabeth Sutton  
><em>**

_**To: Macey McHenry**  
><em>

_Dear Macey,  
><em>

_I would first like to start this message by saying that I am extremely sorry that there were some technicalities that prevented the self-destruction of your message. If you would like some pointers on great ways to arranging certain death to your emails, I would be delighted to help you out.  
><em>

_Secondly, congratulations. I'm glad you finally found someone that lives up to your higher-than-the-Empire-State-standards. Tell me all about him.  
><em>

_Also, thank you for warning me about resting by the pool. Sadly, I already did (and I have the aloe to prove it).  
><em>

_Hope your summer's bliss!  
><em>

_Love,  
><em>

_~Liz_

* * *

><p>Leave it to Liz to send a long message with advice on how to properly set-up an email so that it can self-destruct.<p>

Yours truly,

~Macey McHenry

* * *

><p><strong>AN: hey i haven't updated for a year. I'm sorry. I didn't think this story was very popular and I've pretty much been going insane with school and life and such.<strong>

**hope you like my chapter ;)  
><strong>

**please review! remember...reading without reviewing is like cake without frosting...0.o  
><strong>

**love,  
><strong>

**~m :)  
><strong>

**P.S. I'm starving, so please excuse me while i go cook some pasta and 10 pm at night.  
><strong>


	7. Dear Awesomest Love Guru

~Chapter 7: Dear Awesomest Love Guru~

**Dear Awesomest Love Guru,**

**As for problems, I have many, but they are pretty much the ****same and I think it's about time to let sleeping dogs lay. Sides you would ****probably just tell me what I want to hear since I wrote my question in a way ****that leads you to believe that the world revolves around me. But just for ****kicks tell me if what I did was wrong. (It was, but I didn't lose sleep over it).**

**My brother and I have a friend in common. He's really my brother's friend and ****we know each other. For a while now I've know that Billy Bob (name changed to ****protect identity) likes me as more than friends. We weren't really friends ****when I became aware of this so I ignored it because… well it's not like I did ****anything to warrant his affection, just answered the door and let him through ****to my brothers room—that's it.**

**My brother is the one who first clued me in. ****He came home one day and was all like I know something. I said "If it's how to ****count to five, then it's two more numbers than last week!"**

**He pulls out his phone and pulls up his Facebook page to where Billy Bob posted: _I am in love with (insert my name here) (spelled incorrectly)._ I was embarrassed and walked away. ****My sister stayed to dig out the story which she later recounted to me. ****Apparently the night before he was experiencing loose lips syndrome (caused by ****liquids) and let it slip that he thought I was cute and so on, to my brother ****and his friends. Well apparently when he passed out they grabbed his phone ****and posted on his page. Isn't my brother awesome! *note the sarcasm***

**I have yet to tell him that I know and saw that post. So much later, we became friends. ****I knew his feelings about me, but still we began texting each other and, honestly, ****I thought it was water under a bridge because I mean this is years after the ****incident.**

**I won't lie I got a little vibe that he was still interested but ****ignored it. He asked if I wanted to go with him to see the lights parade and ****I knew he was asking me out. I just knew it but I dragged the truth out of ****him. I was all like I want to know exactly how you meant that. Are you ****asking me out or am I an insane self-centered chick? He said he was asking me ****out.**

**I said no. I told him I never wanted to lead him on but I was only ****interested in his friendship. He said he felt better because at least he ****finally got the courage to ask me out (ego boost). We kept talking and texting ****like if nothing happened until I realized that every night I was sending the ****first text instead of him. -.- One day I didn't send him a text first and waited ****for my friend who for the last year had been asking me about my day and ****listened to me (I did the same for him) when I needed to decompress. I waited ****and then slowly our daily routine got to be a couple times per week then fewer ****until now when we are basically at the beginning of our relationship. **

**We are ****still cool though we aren't all awkward around each other when we're together. ****We still catch up and hang out, but I miss him. I don't have feelings for him ****other than platonic. But I miss him. And now we're both so busy that it's ****getting easier until I go to sleep and think, _Huh. Billy Bob was the last thing I usually heard before I closed my eyes._ I miss him. Did I do the right ****thing by rejecting him and ruining our friendship should I have gone out with ****him to give us the benefit of the doubt? Should I go out with him just ****because I miss him? Should I call him on his issues and say he's a jerk and I ****miss my friend? Even knowing that the distance is probably helping him move ****forward. Geesh what a mess. Any advice? Oh and this isn't a grade school ****issue.**

**Thank you for listening. Simply writing it all down is therapeutic.**

**Yours in eternity,**

**Luvslove**

* * *

><p><em>LuvsLove,<em>

_I'm sorry about your situation. That stinks. You did the right thing though. You never ever ever ever never want to lead someone on!_

_Ooh, I have a good story about not leading people on! I'm going to tell it._

_So, once upon a time, there was this little science nerd boy. Now this boy had a huge crush on my friend. He had liked her for forever, but she was way out of his league. When homecoming rolled around this year, he planned a really cute way to ask her. He baked cookies! First of all, some guy has to be like REALLY FREAKING DEDICATED to bake cookies FOR A GIRL. Like, has anyone ever seen that happen before? I haven't! Why? Because guys are lazy and sexist and think that girls should be the only ones who step foot in the kitchen unless they are starving and raid the fridge. Anwayyyyyy, he baked her cookies and frosted letters on them. In each period, she got a different letter, delivered by each one of her friends. At the end of sixth period, he sprinted to her classroom with a Question Mark cookie. The letters spelt out "Homecoming?" all together, and he gave he flowers. It was adorable. And thoughtful. And nice. And even though he's going to be rich one day because he is way too smart for his own good and is probably gonna outdo Microsoft, she said no. Why? Because she didn't want to lead him on. And the moral to that story is, don't lead people on even if they are smart and are probably gonna be on the Ellen Degeneres Show in the near future for inventing a car that runs on water (his science fair project this year)._

_The end._

_So don't lead people on._

_I think you should just call him. Call him to chat. Call him to see what's going on. Call him to laugh. Call him to be happy. Ask to hang out. Just remember, it's not a date._

_Because he's just your friend._

_And you can be a friend that's a girl, without being a girlfriend._

_Love,_

_~the most kick-ass love guru there is_

* * *

><p><strong>Here's the Problem,<strong>

**There is this guy I really like, and we only talk sometimes. Well, my friend Evy ****thinks his friend is hot and he thinks she's hot (he told her once and now ****they are sorta together, but not really… they PDA a lot—like a lot a lot). So, we eat ****lunch together every day and since they are WAY too busy sucking each others' ****faces off,*insert disgusted face here* me and Jacob, the guy I like, talk to ****each other.**

**So, one day I skip lunch because I had an extra credit project to do ****with one of my other friends, Lily, and she knows I like him. So anyways, I guess ****he felt awkward with Evy and Travis (Evy's kind of boyfriend), PDAing. So he came to the ****library to 'hang out' he put the air quotes when he said that…what does that even mean?**

**And when me and Lily finish early, she leaves us to do whatever, and she gave ****a suggestive look and winked at the both of us as if impinge something and he ****saw her do it then saw my embarrassed face and chuckled. HE CHUCKLED! What does ****THAT mean? Then we talked for a while (random things like school and food...lol)**

**And out of nowhere, he leaned into me and closed his eyes, so did I and by then ****we were outside on a cement bench in front of the school, so I close my eyes ****and then feel a bucket of FREEZING COLD water ALL over me and it was really cold ****so obviously I shrieked and jumped up and Jacob and some of his lame soccer ****buddies were literally rolling on the floor laughing (ya he plays soccer and ****is SUPER fit because he works out *sigh* he has such awesome abs) so being really ****embarrassed and flustered I grabbed my bag and my keys from my locker and ****headed home (sadly I don't have a car :() and so as I'm walking he follows me. ****HE HAD THE NERVE to FOLLOW ME! So I get really mad at him and he's all confused ****when I'm the one who should be confused! So he next day I feel really bad and all and ****it was just a small prank and I overreacted so then I see him the next day and ****we are cool and all so he was coming over to study and we were walking and this ****chick comes and was all like flirty and stuff and he was like "oh hey! I forgot to ****introduce you to," so he's like, "oh, Shelly, the chick, this is my girlfriend Natalie (thats me!) ****and I was like WTF and so he kissed me ON THE LIPS! I was so happy but he was ****just faking it so she left and he acted like nothing had happened then he ****ignored me for like 3 days until I confronted him he said he's been busy and that ****the kiss was no biggie(if only he knew).**

**We go back to normal and then his friend Travis tells me that Jacob really does like me but he's just too shy and he says it in front of Jacob but he seemed completely unfazed and then I start ****going out with this other guy but it doesn't work out but during those few ****dates Jacob would get closer to me as if trying to hint something but I'm not ****sure.. So then, he comes over one day when both my parents were gone to visit my ****aunt on her birthday but I had school so, yeah, anyways he came and was all like you really ****wanna kill me don't u and I was so confused because I didn't get what he meant then ****he randomly kissed me—like really kissed me— and then said he never wanted to see me ****again. I'm so confused! HELP!**

**PS: sorry it's long lol I'm just really confused and yes u do sound like you watch a ****lot of romance stuff lol but in a good way :)**

**~Natalie**

* * *

><p><em>Dear Natalie,<em>

_Hey. On the first hand, I would like to apologize for the fact that practically every day of your life you are forced to watch two people have spit swap meet. It's never really all that much fun when your friends act like the purpose to life is hiding in the back of the others' throat. Maybe to get them to stop, you can look up rude things on the internet to say to them. "Get a room," works on occasion, but then again, Google has all the answers._

_Anyways, Jacob. I like a guy named Jacob. I have found good experiences with people named Jacob (e.g. Taylor Lautner's character in the Twilights. Sexy werewolf. Sexy, sexy werewolf.)_

_I think it sounds like he likes you._

_Or that maybe he's bipolar._

_Or maybe just that popular, flirtatious, douche-bag type._

_I don't know him, so it's your call as for as that goes._

_I am going to take a break right now in order to eat hot fudge Sundays with my mom while we watch Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants._

_I'm back! Now that was an experience. I love that movie. I was laughing…crying…sighing. But then again, it might just be PMS._

_Anyway…_

_"Hang out."_

_Could be code for hit on you._

_Could be code for plot on how to pull that prank on you._

_But I would suggest that it is the former because you said that his friend said that he likes you._

_So he chuckled. He probably thought it was funny, or maybe he was embarrassed because he was thinking about suggestive things.. ;)_

_Just kidding. I'm not sure how suggestive things could get in a library. But, then again, you never know._

_You remember in kindergarten when that boy would throw a rock at you because he likes you? Maybe that's what the prank was like. He was probably sort of embarrassed on his side that you didn't think it was funny, too. He probably feels like he lost your trust when he did that, so that could be a possible reason for why he's backed off._

_If he likes you, then he probably kissed you for two reasons:_

_To get that Shelley character to leave._

_Because he actually wanted to kiss you._

_Okay. He probably said he never wanted to see you again because he thinks he crossed a line and now you're like disgusted or something. You should try to flirt, maybe. Show him he didn't cross a line, and you wouldn't mind a little more smooching. ;)_

_If you want. If you like him. Or you could just spend the rest of your life with 86 cats in your moms basement…_

_But it's your choice._

_Love,_

_~m_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I updated fast so you should review! If you submitted a problem, please let me know if it was helpful!<strong>

**Review because it's raining outside and I need something to brighten my day! x)**

**Review because if you don't then you'll have nightmares of me attacking you.**_  
><em>

**Just kidding, love you all!  
><strong>

**~m  
><strong>


	8. Living the Life

~Chapter 8: Living the Life~

_Heyyy there!_

_ Soo I have a problem not really a problem... Anyways Sooo there's this guy and well his nice and really sweet. Yeahh he texts me a lot then one day he told me he liked me and I said I only liked him as a friend. We still text and were like really close but he never talks to me because he say he is too nervous. My problem is that I kinda sorta like him now and I don't know what to do... should I tell him? But then again if I tell him and he doesn't like me any more... Ahhh idk what to do I don't want to ruin our friendship. Help me Por Favor(please!)._

_ Lovee,_

_~HeadOverHeelsMaybe_

* * *

><p><strong>Dear HeadOverHeelsMaybe,<strong>

**I think you should just be blunt.**

**B.**

**L.**

**U.**

**N.**

**T.**

**Blunt.**

**Just be your usual self and then be like...**

**"Hey fondest lover boy," (or word to that effect ;) "You wanna hear a funny story? Of course you do! Okay, so you know how you like me? Well here's the funny thing...I like you, too."**

**There.  
><strong>

**Bam.  
><strong>

**End of story.  
><strong>

**You're done.  
><strong>

**And then, because he sounds like an awkward problem, I mean person, he'll probably say something along the lines of, "Oh, cool. I like you, too." (Because if he's too "nervous" to talk to you in person, then he likes you)  
><strong>

**You wanna hear a funny story! Of course you do! Okay, so. I learned about this new cool thing that isn't really cool, but I just sort of needed an adjective there! Anywayyyy, I texted this one guy a lot. Like a lot, a lot. I mean like 24 hours, 7 days a week with no boundaries a lot, a lot. And whenever I'd see him in person, there would be like this extreme awkward silence. I talked myself through it by saying to myself "it's okay, he'll grow out of it, it's just a phase."  
><strong>

**Well, honey.  
><strong>

**Let me tell you.  
><strong>

**It wasn't a phase.  
><strong>

**Six months of being comfortable texting, and nothing in person.  
><strong>

**I decided enough was enough and decided that none of it was real. That texting wasn't real. I wasn't talking to him. I was talking to words he wrote down. It's so much different than talking...like actually talking.  
><strong>

**So I dumped him and now I'm a happy girl, while he is still sulking on the H building stairs with his 5th rebound girl.  
><strong>

**But do I care?  
><strong>

**No.  
><strong>

**Do I have a heart?  
><strong>

**Yes.  
><strong>

**But it sure ain't beatin' for some dude who "loves" me so "much" that words can barely form on his lips in my goddess-like presence.  
><strong>

**Your Truly,  
><strong>

**~Macey McHenry**

* * *

><p><em>Eeep thanks, Macey! :)<em>

_ I read thus and texted him and told him to stop being so bipolar __and that i know he likes me and he didn't deny it! He said he wanted to go out tonight and you know what I said? "HE'LL TO THE FREAKING NO!" _

_It was realy funny because he lives lke two minutes away so he came over and was like "WTF?" and I laughed in his  
>face (serves him rite for chuckling without reason) and then it was like full blown out laughter I COULDN'T STOP! So he started going on about how pms is so stupid and then I eventually got up and kissed him and he kissed back! <em>

_But sadly we were too lazy to go on an actual date so we had a movie marathon and we fell asleep on da couch and I ended up in bed cuddled up next to him it was so awesome it took everything in my not to squeal and then jump him... Lol!_

_So it's like really super early in the morning now so I'm gonna go back to bed so THANK YOU MACEY! :)  
>U ROCK!<em>

_Love,  
><em>

_~Natalie_

* * *

><p>Oh, yeah. That's me, Macey McHenry. Coupling people. Fixing Problems. Blowing my nose and sucking on cough drops. Living the life, girls.<p>

Living.

The.

Life.

* * *

><p><em>Thank you for the advice. I'll have to think up a way to work up some courage to initiate something with him. I actually let a good opportunity slip by. He had a birthday party where he invited everyone over. My older brother had said he wasn't going so I didn't want to go and not know a single soul but Billy Bob. I mean we're friends not conjoined twins and it's his party he'd probably want to hang out with more than just me. <em>

_So I decided not to go and my brother ended up going. What a loser! (my brother ...and I guess me too)... so he actually took the time from his party to text me and ask whether or not I was going. I said that honestly I wasn't because I needed to be able to wake up the next morning (preferably without a hangover the size of Texas) and go  
>to work. Which is actually a good reason. He begged me to at least stop by. It was late and I told him so. He said he'd pick me up personally if I agreed.<em>

_I said I can drive myself... but that it was too late to be waking up my family. He tried to get me to sneak out, but I said that as I was no longer in junior high and that sneaking out was pointless. I could never do that to my family have them  
>worrying over me for a couple of stolen moments. My motto is: if your going to do something, do it right so that you don't regret it later. <em>

_So if I couldn't walk out of my home with my dignity and support of my family, then Icouldn't go. I told him I was sorry but that his insisting was making me feel guilty which I knew I shouldn't have to feel. So I didn't go and we hit another snag in our friendship. _

_He probably took it as another rejection. And sooner or later most people get tired of being rejected and I know that... so it's going to be hard to work up the courage. _

_But you're right and if I were to truly live my own motto then I can't leave things half-a**ed. I need to do something and do it right, maybe have movie night to make up for it or something? _

_Probably need to invite my brother and some other people so it won't seem like I want to get him in a dark room by myself and am looking for an excuse to jump his bones. Do you have any suggestions? Some courage booster?_

_Thanks again for your help and for making me feel less evil for not being in __love with him._

_~Luvslove_

* * *

><p><strong>Hi there :)<strong>

**I'm proud of you and I really do like your motto! Even though it seems like you have a little regret, you did the right thing! Family should always be important, so I really like your attitude. Being strong and standing up to your friends pressuring you is REALLY hard sometimes. But I think you handled the situation pretty smoothly.  
><strong>

**Don't be sad. Don't worry. It's not time to worry yet.  
><strong>

**Maybe you could write him a sappy long letter with all your feelings bundled inside of it. You could just ship it off in the mail. You wouldn't know when or if he got it, so you wouldn't have to worry. You could even do it anonymously...  
><strong>

**Movie nights are always fun. Invite a few more friends and pick a good flick :D  
><strong>

**By the way...speaking of flicks...I just watched 500 Days of Summer. It was almost as bad as Dear John.  
><strong>

**Rejection. Just make it clear that you're not rejecting him on purpose. The timing just wasn't right. You could do this through the letter opt ;) or just by being yourself!  
><strong>

**You sound like a smart girl, and I'm sure you know what to do, you just need a little confidence. :)  
><strong>

**You can do anything. After all, it's not like he doesn't like you. ;)  
><strong>

**~m**

* * *

><p><em>~Texting~<em>

**Hey :)**

_Hey. Why didn't you go to the banquet on Tuesday?_

**Well, it's not like my brother invited me or anything...hahah.**

He was asking about this banquet. Him and my bro are in Jr. Air Force stuff together. And it's not like I didn't mind that he lived next door. It just gave me about 1000 more reasons to be in love with the You Belong With Me music video ;)

_That jerk_

**Hahah, hey it's not like you invited me either haha  
><strong>

_My bad. Next time, fo sho. Whatcha up to?_

**I'm eating ice cream! Wbu?**_  
><em>

_Tired._**  
><strong>

**Then...go to sleep...Why so tired?  
><strong>

_Long day, I guess.  
><em>

Long. Day. I. Guess. God, so boring! Give me something to work with here! Long day, I guess? Long day, I guess! It's like I'm talking to a wall! How the hell am I supposed to keep this conversation going when all you have to say is some lame-ass thing like Long Day, I Guess! Ugh, I hate boys._  
><em>

**That's cool...**

That's cool? UGH, what are you THINKING, Macey! Dumbie! God, that is so not cool! Long day, I guess, is the exact opposite of "cool!" Omg, he probably thinks I'm boring. Why can't he just be conversational? Why must I be the one to initiate commonly sensible talk here?**  
><strong>

_Ya._

How responsive of you. I'm glad that you're obviously putting thought into this conversation.

**So what was the banquet like?**

_Kool. Some chick from JPL was there._**  
><strong>

Does he think he's cool by spelling cool with a K? Is spelling cool with a K like kool supposed to make you seem cooler than you actually are?

**Oh, that's cool. Like...all of my relatives work there and they're trying to get me to work there and I'm just like "Nice try."**

_That would be my dream job._**  
><strong>

**I can hook you up, hahah.  
><strong>

I'm not gonna lie. I almost accidentally wrote "I think we should hook up."

_Thanks =]_

**Sure.**

God, you're such a boring texter. Why can't you be as great as you are in person?

_You don't like that stuff?_

**I like it...I love going to Griffith Observatory and like learning about stuff like that...but then you hear all about **_the_ **terrible stories of people screwing up and the people die and bad things happen and it sort of scares me off  
><strong>

_Hahah, wow.  
><em>

Hah. Hah. Wow. That's all I get? Really? Really now. I send you a 2 page message and all I get is "hah hah wow."

**Really, like people died because some dumb person screwed something up! Its sad.**

_Haha._**  
><strong>

You suck.

**Sad truth. So this annoying kid was hitting on me during Bio today. I almost strangled him.**

Omg, what the hell am I thinking? He probably thinks I'm insane. That was so off topic and so random and ugh! You know what...he was the one being boring so I can talk about whatever the hell I wanna talk about. It's official.

_That's when you say that your gay friend and him would be perfect together_

Hahahhahahahaha. Oh, that one was actually funny.

**Thanks. I'm totally using that one tomorrow.**

_No prob._**  
><strong>

Really. I am so done trying to make conversation. So I just say the first random thing that pops into my mind.

**Tomorrow's Thursday.**

_Nope.  
><em>

Crap, did I say that wrong day? He probably thinks I'm stupid! Ughh

**Wait...yes it is! I'm gonna check...hahahha  
>Tomorrow's Thursday! I was right, hahaha!<strong>

_Did you really check_**  
><strong>

**...yeah :)**_  
><em>

_Where did you check?  
><em>

**On my phone  
><strong>

Like he would care.

_Okay, good. I thought you went and checked on a calender._

**Hahahahah. I'm not that much of a dumb blonde.**_  
><em>

_Hahahaha, wow you're racist_**  
><strong>

**You're racist for calling me racist. Calling myself a dumb blonde isn't racist. It's stereotyping, hahhah.**_  
><em>

_I know. It was a test, A dumb blonde wouldn't have caught that :)_**  
><strong>

**Yayyyy! Finally, someone says I'm not a dumb blonde with a dye job! :)  
><strong>

_Hahaha, hell ya. Okay, I gotta go now. I'll text ya later blondie! :)_**  
><strong>

__I'm not blonde. But who cares. That boy can call me whatever he wants :)

* * *

><p><strong>AN: How you like it? How does my love life sound?<strong>

**REVIEW PLEASE  
><strong>

**love,  
><strong>

**~m  
><strong>


	9. My Life As Macey

**Hi~ Yes, I know I haven't updated in forever. I know it's short..but I mean, atleast I updated right? :)  
><strong>

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 9: My Life as Macey<span>

Dear Self,

It's summer. Let that roll around in your brain for a minute while I sneeze. Bless me? Why thank you, that is so considerate! Summer. What does summer usually mean for me?

**A List of All Things Summer: Composed by Macey McHenry**

**_Things I Like to do:_  
><strong>

**1. Hangout with the neighbor. *dreamy sigh*  
><strong>

**2. Waste most of my time on the computer. (me+no life=tumblr)  
><strong>

**3. Ride by bike to random places with random people. (while trying to avoid bumping into people we hate.)  
><strong>

**4. Go to the beach. (because there's way too many hot guys there to miss out on.)  
><strong>

**5. Text my friends in Spanish and laugh at them when they don't understand me, even though we've been taking that class forever.  
><strong>

**6. Get pedicures. (because who doesn't like foot massages?)  
><strong>

**7. Anger my brother.  
><strong>

**8. Avoid doing the long list of ridiculous chores that my mother insists I repeat daily.  
><strong>

**_Things I Don't Like:_**

**1. When my neighbor freaking goes to summer school. *angry growl*  
><strong>

**2. When I waste most of my time on the computer. (it's a love hate relationship we have.)  
><strong>

**3. When I see someone I hate at the store. (because, naturally, I believe that they have no life or business being anywhere near me outside of school bounds.  
><strong>

**4. Getting sunburned at the beach. (never fall asleep with your hand on your stomach)  
><strong>

**5. When my friends don't understand my Spanish and I feel like I'm the only intelligent life form on this planet.  
><strong>

**6. When old people at the supermarket look at me like I'm evil just because I'm a teenager.  
><strong>

**7. When my brother angers me.  
><strong>

**8. The long list of ridiculous chores that my mother insists I do daily. (because even though I repeatedly attempt to avoid them, I usually fail at that)  
><strong>

**9. When none of your summer clothes from last year don't fit anymore so all you have is a ton of winter stuff which is all too hot to wear.**

* * *

><p>I wanted to do a lot of things today. I really did. But sadly, due to the fact that my sister, niece, and nephew are visiting, I honestly don't get much of anything done. When I'm not doing homework, I'm either chasing around a three year old, or feeding the baby. When I'm not doing any of that, I'm eating, sleeping, or showering. (I've found that the shower is a really great place to hide from people you don't want to talk to.)<p>

Here are the things I wanted to do today...

1. Watch _The Last Song_. Because (A) who doesn't love to cry for no reason, and (B) I need a good Liam Hemsworth fix.

2. Eat without getting fat. (But, honestly, who doesn't want that?)

3. A boyfriend. But my stupid neighbor likes his stupid lab partner asdfghjkl;...I'm sure she's a great person. I great person who should crawl into a whole and never come out so I can have my neighbor all to myself.

4. To tell the neighbor that I like him. (But when you think about it, I sort of want to do that everyday...)

5. To paint my nails. But I was too busy chasing around the boy child.

So even though I REALLY wanted to do all those things today, I didn't. This is the sort of thing that I usually complain to my mom about while she's watching one of her bad sitcoms. And then she bursts into that one really old annoying song with something like "...you can't always get waaaatcha waaant.." and then I tell her to be quiet and stop being such a ruiner. And then she goes back to watch the human stupidity on her television screen. And I fall dramatically to the floor and start screaming.

* * *

><p>Do you want to hear a romantic flashback? Of course you do.<p>

It was dark as we sat outside in the warm summer breeze. The air was fresh and the night was cool. In the sky, the moon shone brightly, and as I looked next to the guy standing with me, I smiled.

It had seemed like I'd liked him forever, but I had never exactly knew if I ever meant anything to him. I had always figured that I was the just the girl next door. That he didn't care. That I was just one of the guys. I wasn't anyone special.

We were just outside, talking. It was pretty late. We laid down on the grass and looked up at the stars.

I could feel his warm body heat, radiating off him. It was quiet, but the silence wasn't awkward. It was nice. It was relaxed. The only sounds were the sounds of us breathing. The sound of other people's sprinklers. We just laid there and talked. And even though it was probably a few hours, it only felt like minutes when my phone buzzed and my mom asked my to come inside.

I was pretty sad...but I guess it turned out okay when we stayed up all night texting.

Now I have a question for you guys: Do you think guys stay up texting _just anyone_ until 3 a.m.?


	10. So Now I'm A Male Testosterone Fairy

~Chapter 10: So Now I'm a Fairy of Male Testosterone~

_Dear Macey,_

_ So I heard your a girl who helps people. So my problem is that I'm a completely and kinda strange confused person. I guess you could say I has no social life. Most people would reference me as cute. _

_But with guys, its much stranger. I always seem to to crush on guys who turn out to be complete assholes or just really weird. The worst part is that I'm usually a shy person, so I don't speak much. The worst part is that with those guys, I'm always nice them. But I have boy issues. To the point that I don't even when like it when boys hug me. Does this make me weird? _

_The thing is that sometimes the guy pisses me off in some way (*cough, cough* bully jerks) and I end up getting over them, but then a couple weeks later, it starts all over of the time I tend to be nice to them, and they treat me kindly back. But when 8th grade ended for me, the only things guys wrote in my yearbook was '' Thanks for the help in science'' and some shit like that. I'm starting to think that their is maybe a downside to being a nerd, because that may be the only thing that people think of me. :( _

_Now don't get me wrong, a bunch of girls said other stuff :). I guess maybe I'm simply too young to be thinking of boys like that. I kinda already know I'm desperate, but the question the confuses me is: Do boys actually like me? Or am I just another nice kinda-geek to them? It would be nice for guys to think more of me, because I know I have some good qualities :) This year I've learned to come out of my shell, and most or the girls in my class learned that I'm actually a fun and smart person, but when it comes to boys, I'm still the same calm and reserved person, but that's it. _

_I guess I have no luck with boys, bit I kinda don't wanna end up growing up, old and alone with seven cats :(. I've convinced myself that I'm simply a feminist, but I doubt it, and now I'm so confused :(_

_This year, a guy who was an asshole to me last year was really kinda...flirty with me all year (that I noticed). He even asked me to the semi formal this year, but I declined because_

_1. I wasn't going and_  
><em> 2. I was seriously considering this was a joke (I mean, its not like I would say yes, even if I wad going). <em>

_ I'm not looking to date (yet. My parents would kill me!) It would just be nice if some guys noticed me more as answers to the English final :(. And as for the guys who are actually kinda nice...sometimes..._

_I kinda wanna know if a guys asks me out if its a joke or not (I mean, it's not like I've had the best luck with guys before...)_

_ Help, oh wise fairy of male testosterone. Help!_

_ - A kinda guy desperate gal with feminism issues..._

~:*:~

**Dear Kinda Guy Desperate Gal With Feminism Issues,  
><strong>

**How are you? :) Okay, well I guess that was sort of a dumb question because you're obviously unhappy. Have no fear! Because I am here to give you a pep talk to change that :)  
>(sorry it took me so long I JUST GOT HOME AND SAT DOWN...like its literally been over 24 hours...crazy summer happenings...)<br>**

**So anyway, I totally understand where you are. There are so many ladies out there, that have absolutely nothing wrong with them. I mean, don't get me wrong, nobody's perfect, but sometimes I look at people and just think, "Why does SHE have a boyfriend? Why don't I have a boyfriend? I must not be good enough."  
><strong>

**And I'm here to say, that that's not true.  
><strong>

**There are so many guys out there. And so many girls out there. And all of us are unique. All of us have our own special qualities that make us who we are.  
><strong>

**One of my favorite quotes is from Dr. Seuss. "Be who you are and say what you want. Because those who mind, don't matter. And those who matter don't mind."  
><strong>

**You're asking me if boys like you. Well, I obviously don't know you, but if a boy asks you to a dance, he likes you. You can't be so insecure enough to think, "It must not be real. I mean, who would like me?"  
><strong>

**You can't think like that. Nobody's perfect. You have a bog nose? Who cares? Even if you had a perfect nose, you'd still be unhappy. That's just the way girls are. We look at ourselves under a microscope. "Ugh, there's no gap between my thighs." "Ugh, I have a pimple."  
><strong>

**But the people that matter. The people thy are important. The people who are worth your time. They don't notice.  
><strong>

**To get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.  
><strong>

**Honestly, right now I'm sitting on the floor making tie dye with my two best friends in the world. I couldn't be happier! (okay well I probably could be if Josh Hutcherson showed up right now...but you all know how that is...)  
><strong>

**Just enjoy being a girl. Enjoy pining over the guy you see walking past the cafeteria everyday between third and fourth period. Enjoy staying up late watching chick flicks. Enjoy pigging out on chocolate ice cream with your besties. Dance in the rain. Be yourself. And don't you think for one second that you're gonna be a cat lady. Because one day, the right guy will come along. And he'll really see how special you are.  
><strong>

**Lots of love,  
><strong>

**~m**_  
><em>

**~:*:~**

_Dear m,_

_Let me just say, where have you been! I've been waiting for you like, all well! (lol joking XD). But on a serious note, thanks a bunch! I already feel much better about myself, and I think I gained some of my confidence back :) I think I'll just enjoy being a teen, and whoever comes along comes along :)_

_I really can't thank you enough :D Again, thanks a bunch :)_

_- A kinda not so much insecure gal who got her spunk back :)_

_...Actually, while the opportunity may, I'm going to write another letter to you and see if you respond._

_ Dear Macey,_

_ So, I'm very grateful to your last letter :] but I'm still a bit sad. I guess I still feel a little insecure about myself. BUT, this time I know why._

_Its my brother._

_So like any other normal sibling relationship, we tease. We bother. And we annoy. The difference that makes ours different is that my brother is an asshole. It will be an average day of annoying each other, and I'll be playfully annoying my dear ol' brother, but them e some stupid shit like ''well, your ugly'' and every time I even remotely mention anything that isn't healthy (I mean really, who doesn't love ice cream?), our even if I'm standing in front of him, he'll say something about me having a fat ass (even though I'm pretty sure I'm the skinniest person in the house) but it still hurts my feelings because, well, its my brother. And it feels like he constantly bullies me because he thinks he can because I'm the youngest and he my older brother. I mean, I can take a joke, but he takes it to far, and it gets annoying._

_The worst part its that when we were younger, we got along just fine. In fact, we were really close, but now, I just can't find what went wrong..._

_ What do I do? How do I just get my brother to shut the hell up with all the insults?_

_~:*:~_

**Hey,**  
><strong> I'm really sorry about you're brother. Fighting sucks bad enough and when it's with someone you live with, it sucks even more. (because you can't really escape the person who's bedroom door is right next to yours.)<strong>  
><strong> I would honestly consider telling your parents about it. Just tell them how he makes you uncomfortable and is unnecessarily rude. How he's taking too far. How it's making you self conscious. <strong>  
><strong> You could try talking to him. But if he's an asshole, then he probably won't listen.<strong>  
><strong> You could give it right back to him.<strong>  
><strong> But mainly, I would just bring the parents into it.<strong>  
><strong> I hope this helps.<strong>

** Love,**

** ~m**

* * *

><p><em>Dear Macey, <em>

_There's this guy. And he's not just any guy, he's my friend's boyfriend. _

_And I like him. _

_It kinda seems like he likes me too, because he's always touching me. Putting his arm around my shoulder and/or waist, poking my sides, attempting to tickle me... Am I over analyzing this, or is it just like, platonic feelings? And he hugs me Every. Time. He. Sees. Me. And if I don't hug him right away he's all like "Where's my hug?" _

_I'm so confused:P _

_Help me?_

_~Forever  
><em>

_~:*:~_

**Dear Forever,  
><strong>

**I know, trust me, there's always a guy. But that's okay because you have me here to help you. The wise fairy of male testosterone.  
><strong>

**Now tell me about this friend of yours. Is she the "lets go shopping and have sleepovers and cry together" type. Or is she the "only person you talk to in Biology because everyone else is ghetto" type?  
><strong>

**Because if she's the first type, then I'd say you're in a sticky situation...  
><strong>

**If not, then maybe a boy likes you heheh yay let's internet stalk him for the next six hours.  
><strong>

**Not.  
><strong>

**That is not how you get guys to like you ladies. Not the right way. The way is of long and mysterious methods that I will take the liberty to explain to you all with my magical male testosterone expertise another time.  
><strong>

**I honestly recommend being straight forward with this boy. If he's being obvious like tickling and hugging and touching, then I think it would better to just put it all out there in the open. I don't know about you but hug demanding sounds pretty serious ;D  
><strong>

**Tell him you like him. If he doesn't, then maybe he will, knowing that you like him. Let's face it, why would any sane person waste their time demanding hugs from people they don't care about.  
><strong>

**I mean if Josh Hutcherson and I were married I'd just demand hugs from him ALL THE FREAKING TIME.  
><strong>

**Good luck and tell me how everything goes? :)  
><strong>

**Your's Truly,  
><strong>

**~Macey McHenry  
><strong>


	11. Helping Hannah Banana

__~Chapter 11: Helping Hannah Banana~

_Dear Macey,_

_I love you. We are new best friends. Please internet stalk me. ;D_

_ Lol, Just Jokin' (: that sounded really creeperish... O.o Lol (: But in all seriousness let's be best friends. (: _

_I love Josh Hutcherson.:D He's the picture of what all males should resemble and look like :D Hahah, maybe it's because I watched Journey 2 last night and realized how much I love Josh and HATE Vanessa. I mean, she gets all the cuties! She had Zac Efron back in her high school musical days, and now Josh Hutcherson! Not Fair! LOL (: But seriously, Vanessa. You can't have Troy AND Peeta. -,- Lol (: _

_Love,_

_~Your New Best Friend_

_~*:*~_

**To my new Best Friend:**

** You literally made me LAUGH OUT LOUD! :)**

**You should send me some of your problems! I love problems! Got problems? Got milk? OHMYGOSH cookies sound so good right now. Quiero chocolate chip cookies now. Now. Now. Now.**

**I love Josh Hutcherson so much, like you don't even know. Well actually I love lot of people, including Zac Efron.**

**My husbands include:**

**1. spiderman (and yes that includes both actors that play him)**  
><strong> 2. josh hutcherson (including peeta)<strong>  
><strong> 3. liam hemsworth (and definitely not gayle)<strong>  
><strong> 4. leonardo dicaprio (you know everyone says he's old but HELLO? TITANIC?)<strong>  
><strong> 5. zac efron (and yes that includes troy bolton. I like me a guy that can sing)<strong>  
><strong> 6. logan lerman<strong>  
><strong> 7. taylor lautner (but jacob black is also an acceptable option)<strong>  
><strong> 8. christian bail (dreamy moan*)<strong>

**{please note that order of the previously listed men does not imply preference or favoritism. because i would be uncharacteristically happy with one or all of the selected hotties}**

**Yours Truly,**

**~Macey McHenry**

~*:*~

_Hey Best Friend!_

_LOL i love making people laugh! (;_

_Ah, I see (: I always have problems, I'm a teenage girl living in America who goes to a private school and has everything she needs! I'm going on vacation in a week, my life is AWFUL! LOL, that's our society for ya (; Hahaha joking, but I do have something for you. Hold on a sec (;_  
><em>Cookies? Oh. My. God. Right? I want them to appear in front of me, like, today. :D<em>

_Okay. It's offical. You're me in another person's body, because I freaking love all of those males. I want to MARRY all of those males. Dude I know, Leo is SO HOT! how can anyone not freaking love him? It's a like, a crime not to. I'm serious. Deathly. Serious. -.- (- that is my serious face. hahaha (:_

_Okay, here's my problem (: It's not really mine, rather my friends, but she's not here right now, so she'll have to build a bridge! Because I'm sharing it anyway! lolol (; just joking, I don't think she'll care..._

Dear Oh-Wise-One-In-Love-With-Peeta,

I have an issue, and none of my friends can help. So I was hoping you could? (:

You see, there's this boy I liked for the entire school year. But at the end of the year, he just stopped liking me and dropped me like I was an old pair of socks or something. It was awful. I still think about him and don't know what to do. He's always in my mind. And he asked my ex-friend out!

Like, how rude is THAT?

How do I get over him? (:

-SomeoneWhoNeedsHelp

_So this is a "problem" my friend Hannah has. I don't think it's THAT big of a deal, but you're Macey, so you'll find a way, you fairy. :D Hahahah. _

_ We should talk more, you sound like an awesome chick! I need some friends that aren't annoying (; LOLOL. _

_ My name's Sol, by the way (: _

_ -Sol (:_

_~*:*~  
><em>

**Hey Sol :)**

**You sound like an awesome chick, too! And I really wasn't joking when I said we should be best friends. Okay maybe I was a little bit. I mean, lets be as best friends as people who meet online who have never met each other and hardly know anything about each other can be. Lol.**

**I really do think it would be nice to know people that don't suck. I don't think you suck yet Sol. Hahah. If you read my story "The Mixed Up Files of the NotSoMuchLovers" then you will truly learn how much the people in my life suck, hahahhahaah.**

Dearest Hannah,

I like your name. It sounds pretty, and it also rhymes with Banana. Which was my main staple of consumption when I was in the 8th grade.

So anyway, being thrown away like an old sock is never fun. Never fun at freaking all. To be honest Hannah, I don't know you at all. I don't know if you like to sleep with socks on or if you enjoy chocolate or if you're as obsessed with Taylor Swift as I am. (But honestly, that's okay because if I did know those things about you that would be highly strange.)

To get over guys, I like to write songs or poetry. And considering the guy I just got over was my neighbor, it was really fun to stand in the back yard and sing this song at the top of my lungs when I knew he could hear me in order to offend him in a fun and prime way.

If you're not the creative type, then I would suggest listening to music expressing how you feel. I know that sometime when you're looking for the right stuff to listen to and you're just like "one more stupid love song, I'll be sick!" (like in that new and really good Maroon 5 song?).

I personally turn to Taylor Swift in all times of despair. Taylor Swift isn't exactly some people's forte. So find another alternative. Another great way to get over guys (that my English teacher suggested to me) is to change everything that that person loves about you. You have long hair that they used to love to run their fingers through? Cut it off. They got you a bracelet for your birthday? Get a new one. They hate people who wear gladiator sandals? Go and purchase yourself some freaking gladiator sandals because you deserve some my friend.

Now there are a few different stages of this. There's a stage of sadness. A stage of jealousy. A stage of pissed off.

When you're sad, you could start rumors about how he's gay, or you could just do the sad movie watching, ice cream eating, crying alternative. I do like this alternative because sometimes, you just need a good cry while your little brother sits across the room staring at you because he thinks you've lost something that should be inside of your skull.

During the jealousy faze, is the time where you go and TP his new girlfriend's house. Not only will this be extremely fulfilling, but you'll also be able to spend the better parts of the late night running around town with all your friends with vengeance in mind.

The stage of pissed off is when you start listening to angry music and you TP HIS house. I find that this process is even more fulfilling than TPing his new girlfriend's house, mainly because of the fact that you can write in his driveway with shaving cream whatever sadistic message floats your boat at the time.

**Yours Truly,**

**~Macey McHenry**


	12. New Best Friend Notes

~Chapter 12: New Best Friend Notes~

_Hey (:_

_Why, thank you! Of course we can be best friends! Lol. Oh, come on, those are the BEST types of best friends! (; I'm best friends with a girl I've only talked to in person (if skype counts as in person ) twice, and we are the best of friends. Yes, knowing people who didn't suck would be great. I have few of those in my life. Thank you, you don't suck yet either, Queen of Testosterone. (; I shall read that, because I am quite intrigued ;D Why am I talking like this? Quite? Shall? Few? Lol._

_So, reading this, I thought of what Hannah would write:_

Macey,  
>Thanks for the advice. I think I'm in stage one or two right now, but I'll get over it (L<br>Thanks again for being so helpful (:  
>-Hannah<p>

_And I thought of what I would write:_

My Darling Macey,

Thank you for the wonderful advice. And the namely compliments. Yes, Bananas ARE quite fun to consume. Alas, I do not sleep with socks on. So yes, socks suck. I hate them. Aside from the sneaker factor. And I too am obsessed with Taylor Swift music. Well, now you know these things about me, and it will be easier to fill out my profile for a dating website if the time ever comes. Not that you would ever do that...

Writing songs or poetry is wonderful, and thanks for the suggestion. Backyard singing is always my favorite event, and a great extracurricular. I will now fall in love with the neighbors yorkie and then fall out of love with him, so I may sing in my backyard. No, I too would fall into the "Taylor Swift in times of despair" category.

That is a good way to get over that. I will never, EVER use the bubblegum lip gloss he said looked cute on me, nor will I wear my hair in a side pony with a flower clip. You're right, I DO deserve a pair of freaking gladiator sandals, now that I think about it.

My bestie covered the "it's because your gay, isn't it?" part for me, so thank you. I took up the Ryan Gosling alternative, sobbing on my couch, and stuffing my face with mint chocolate chip. My sister called the doctor, who told her everything was fine and she just needed to stay away for awhile to give me some space. She didn't touch me for a week.

Oh yes. I will definitely TP her house AND his. As soon as he gets another girlfriend, because, as I stated before, HE IS GAY. Or doesn't know what the heck he's missing.

Thank you again, Banana Eating Male Expert. I owe you a trip to Ice Cream World quite soon.

-Hannah Banana.

_Question: Are you honestly obsessed with Taylor Swift? If so, this is the start of a BEAUTIFUL friendship. If not, there's always Josh Hutcherson to obsess over._

_Either way, I think we'll get along (;_

_-Sol (:_

~:*:~_  
><em>

**Dear Sol,**

** Thank you for both of your responses. I'm glad that you're much more interesting than you think Hannah would seem like. Mainly, when people respond to my advice it's just like "thank you so much, you're amazing." And I just sit there like "...I know."**

** Where you on the other hand commented on all of my jokes. I see that as character my dear Sol, therefore I do think that we would make a very nice set of best friends.**

** Here is my response to the INTERESTING letter that you wrote on behalf of darling Hannah:**

** My Dear Hannah,**

** Since I am now intruding on your personal life, with all those questions and answers that I will now use to compile into a dating site profile for you, I find it only fair that you know my opinions. Firstly, I now avoid bananas at all cost (unless they are covered in chocolate - but I'll eat anything covered in chocolate - or are in banana bread). This is due to the fact that I learned that bananas are the heaviest food that you can possibly consume. And I am trying to maintain a thin body. **

** Next, I only sleep with fuzzy socks on. Not regular socks. If none of my fuzzy socks are clean, then I sleep barefoot. My only reasoning for fuzzy socks is for the fact that my feet are always cold. But when I get married, I plan on having a boy to keep my feet warm for me and fuzzy sock free.**

** Yes. I am actually obsessed with Taylor Swift. I have 98 of her songs on my iPod and I know every single one of them. Every single one. I saw her Fearless Tour live. I LOVE HER SO MUCH YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. So don't worry, we'll have much more to bond over than our hypothetical men.**

** Speaking of our hypothetical men, today I convinced this girl at my church that I'm getting married this Saturday. And although I actually am going to a wedding (in which I've been waiting 4 years for) I didn't exactly tell her it wasn't mine. It all started when she asked me to this western themed dance for the youth group this Saturday. Now, keep in mind, we're both straight. So I told her that even though I totally would have been her date that night, I was having a wedding. **

** But then she began to question me. You know, when you tell people you're getting married, they tend to ask you things like to who.**

** The bottom line is that I told her that by Saturday night my name will no longer Macey McHenry, but instead Macey Hutcherson.**

** You're jealous. I know.**

** So then she asked who the maid of honor was, and of course I told her Taylor Swift. And then she asked who the best man was so I told her Spiderman.**

** It was a long and tangled lie and I literally got down to describing what was exactly on the menu and the intricate patterns and diamonds incrusted in my dress before I could no longer keep a straight face.**

** You're Invited. Be there at two.**

** Yours Truly,**

** ~Macey McHenry**

~:*:~**  
><strong>

_Why thank you. I figured "She knows she is quite amazing. Why write it down for her?" So I decided to spice it up a bit. _

_ I think we WOULD be quite the pair of besties. We both have enough character to give away. _

_ The lovely Mrs. Hutcherson, _

_ Oh, I see. Everyone has quite different opinons on the slimey fruit. But I must agree: Chocolate is a heavenly substance, dispite the side effects of weight gain and acne. _

_ Yes, fuzzy socks are amazingly wonderful, and I enjoy them a great deal. Now that I think about it, my feet are cold during the night as well. I may have to try that. A boy to keep your feet warm? I must find one of those. _

_ Oh, good to know. I never doubted you, only questioned. Every single one? We are both quite dedicated fans. Taylor Swift DESERVES dedicated fans. She is amazing behond reason. Do you hear me? Amazing. _

_ Convincing church girls lies are quite fun, considering I am a church girl myself. I understand completely. As though I'm sure you'd LOVE to accomany her to the Wild West extravaganza, you must go to your own wedding instead. _

_ Interrogation and I are quite familiar with each other. _

_ I am very, very jealous. _

_ Maid of Honor is Taylor Swift. Now that my friend, is crossing a line. Now I'm envious. _

_ Spiderman? I just downright mad. _

_ All "joking" matters aside, and the fact that I feel intrigued to ask you exactly what was on the menu (Chocolate fondue, perhaps?) and the dress design you'll be sporting (Pnina Tornai?), I must say that I graciously except your invitation with pride and hopefulness that I too may be able to acquaintance the great T-Swizzle and Mr. Parker. _

_ You'll be happy to know I've postponed my vacation just for the event. _

_ Two? Save me a seat. _

_ ~ Hannah }i{_

~:*:~

**LOL the last part of the letter where I start going on about out hypothetical men was for you hahahahahahhaah**

**Dearest Sol,**

**As to the menu for my wedding, it consists of Lebanese and Middle Eastern cuisine due to the fact that (because of a long chain of divorce in my family) half of the people will be shouting things in Arabic that I will not be able to understand. Therefore, the white half of us must be obliged to laugh at the appropriate intervals, feed them the food of their liking, and listen to the crazy Arabic music that accompanies them everywhere in order for the wedding to be to their pleasing.**

**As for the matter of the gown, I plan on looking like a princess. (Even though Bex tried talking me out of it. But that's just because at HER wedding, she plans on wearing jeans.) but dress is strapless and lacy, with an intricate crystal pattern going down the bodice and melting into the train like chocolate.**

**Not that it matters, because by Sunday morning, I'm hoping that Josh will have already ripped it to shreds with his teeth.**

**Lots of Love,**  
><strong>~m<strong>

~:*:~

_Thank you (: I feel so special :D_

_Macey dear,_

_Oh, I grieve for you. Arabian insults are the WORST kind. Hopefully everyone is content with their dinner and the white half of you will not have a bad time._

_Lace, a gorgeous fabric that I'm sure will look quite lovely. Jeans sound like a good alternative, although I'm sure you love your dress._

_Oh yes, every women's dream. Don't tell your mother._

_And the love returned,_

_~Sol_

~:*:~

**Hey Sol,**

It's little old me, AKA your best friend, and I'm just hanging out, on break from wedding preparations. Tomorrow, I plan on going to the water park, Thursday, the white half of the women in our family are getting spray tans, eating salad (because some of us still want to lose a few pounds), and watching chick flicks. Friday is time for Mani-pedis, Saturday morning is hair (mine will be styled like Taylor Swift's) and Saturday after noon is the wedding. Bing-bang-boom that's how babies are made.

So whatsup with you?  
>~m<p>

~:*:~

_Hey M, _

_ That sounds like a busy week. Don't get too orange. Ooo, if you watch her three part movie on netflix it teaches you how to do curls like hers ...well, it shows her doing her hair. But true fans would be smart enough to get it. I was talking about Swifty, by the way._

_ Today my bestie and I went to the amusement park, then the outside mall, where we took fifteen gagillion pictures for her to post on Instagram. It was quite fun. We also splurged and bought ourselves some Starbucks. _

_ On Friday, we'll go to the water park and then to a youth rally. All of the days between today and Friday, I'll be packing/shopping for vacation. Yay! Haha. But do not worry -I'm leaving on Sunday. Therefore, I will most definitely make it to your wedding. Should I bring a gift? Maybe we should go shopping. You may need some new clothes if Josh rips them all to shreds _  
><em> on that honeymoon of yours... <em>

_ Love and xoxo's,_  
><em> Sol ×3<em>

~:*:~

**Dear Sol,**

** Have no fear. Four hours ago, I had my spray tan. And I am not orange. I am golden like the sun. Golden like the color that comes right before the orange in a sunset. The orange that is my Peeta's favorite color. A three part movie on netflix, eh? Sounds like a productive way to spend a day of summer: watching said three part movie and then attempting to imitate it for the next 6 hours. Maybe Josh would like to help me partake in this activity.**

** The amusement park. Great fun always happens at the amusement park. When you go with too many people that you know, even more great "fun" occurs due to the fact that there's bound to be drama. Entertaining stuff. I haven't been able to decide if I like the inside or outside malls better. When I go to the inside mall, I have a good time and eat a lot of chocolate. When I go to the outside mall, sometimes it's too hot because there is obviously no air conditioning outside. I also always see people I know at the outside mall. This would be a plus, except I hate people. Therefore, I do not know.**

** Instagram. The only reason I have one of those is because Bex and Liz made one for me. The only reason I have a tumblr is because Cammie made it for me. If you have one or both, you should follow me. **

** Starbucks is always a great place to splurge at. What do you order? Usually, I get a frap. But if I am in the mood to ** of the worker, I order a "vente black iced tea with four pumps of raspberry and two splenda." Another great way I look to ** off the people who work there is by ordering a "white chocolate mocha frap without the mocha." Works every time.**

** Where are you going to vacation? On the first of next month I leave for camp, I mean, my honey moon, for three weeks. This shall explain my prolonged absence.**

** Love,**

** ~m**

* * *

><p>AN: Hi everyone :) This may be the last time I update in a few weeks because I'm leaving for camp August first. FOR THREE WHOLE WEEKS. In the mountains. Please pray for me (because when it comes to this stuff, sometimes I might be even as girly as you originally thought.)<p>

love,

~m**  
><strong>


	13. Lucky Number, Eh?

~Chapter 13: Lucky Number, Eh?~

_MACEY! AHHH! PANIC. _

_I figured that I could really use your advice, because I am in way too much drama to ask anyone else. I don't think that even made sense. Okay, whatever. You better reply soon or I'll freak out even more._

_To prevent this from being a giant block of words, I'm just gonna put these in paragraphish paragraphs...oh who am I kidding? My English teacher would never approve! Anyway, back on topic. I tend to do that a lot. Must stay focused._

_Okay. So, basically, I met this guy at the start of the school year. And we kinda became best friends. And my best girlfriend liked him...but it's kind of weird, since she liked a bunch of people, then later said she didn't really like them. Wait, before I go on, this is about friend conflict, guy problems, and personal issues! Have fun reading._

_I'll just skip forward a bit. In December, I told him I liked him (which is like a HUGE deal around here, so I must've been pretty crazy that day), and he said he liked me back. Which is great and all. Except...two of my friends like him. He's just that kind of guy who everyone likes, but he thinks no one likes him. I used to be cool with him being really close to all of my friends. We were like this group of friends at first, which was weird, cuz he was the only guy, in a group with 4 other girls. But by the time I told him, it was kind of just me and by best girlfriend and him. And then us 4 girls. I did like him for a while, but I couldn't tell my friends, because even though we were a group, my two friends who liked him didn't know that the other did. So...by the time I told him, we were kind of starting to split because of various reasons._

_On the night I told him, we agreed to not tell anyone. But then we told my friend who didn't like him. She told my other friend. And of course she was hurt. I felt really bad, but...I didn't know what to do, since I really liked this guy. All of us completely fell apart after that._

_I was friends with my best friend (let's call this person A), my friend who didn't like him (B), and I was really really close to him (C). As for my friend who liked him, and knew he liked me back (D), it was kind of awkward. We still talked a lot in school, and laughed together, but then I soon started to realize that I wasn't one of her best friends anymore. I don't even know if I ever was._

_Okay, so A found out from me and C later. She was really really annoyed. And she got really mad, and said that our group was officially over. She said that she would only be friends with me, since...well it was complicated. She was mad at B and D, and decided that she would only be friends with me and C (the guy)._

_B stayed friends with me, but we were never really close. We would be friends when we saw each other, but we only contacted each other when we were in some pretty deep trouble. Then, we would rant to each other all day, she would get mad at me for still liking C, I would get mad at her for being so against C, and we wouldn't talk to each other the next day. Then, we would forgive and forget. This repeated many times..._

_Now, on to C. He's the sweetest guy in the world. Completely naive, and so honest. We're still too young to date by our nerd population's standards, so we just kinda hovered in between friendship and more. I depended on him, and only him for a long time. This caused my friends to get mad at me not caring about them anymore, and it really hurt me. He never got mad at me when I did stupid things. He always boosted my low self-confidence by saying sweet things. "You're amazing, beautiful, fun, etc." But this was during texting, or when we were alone. At school, and around other people. it was almost like I didn't exist. And the thing is, he always talks to girls. It made my mood drop to an all time low. I mean, here was my best guy friend, my...unofficial boyfriend, I guess, talking to other people and acting like I don't exist. Do I have extreme jealousy issues? I just don't know. I know the type of person he is, and A said that he did it because he was insecure, and just wanting to make everyone accept him, in turn hurting me, pretty much on purpose._

_And I just wanted everyone to know that he was MINE. I know, it's all possessive and stuff. Oh, right. I forgot to mention that this kid was my whole world. He said that the only person he really cared about was me, aside from family of course. And I knew that I was in some serious trouble. This is going to be one person that I'll never forget._

_We agreed not to tell anyone, but suddenly, I kind of wanted everyone to know. So basically, I didn't do anything to hide it. I wouldn't betray his trust, cuz I didn't exactly TELL anyone. Let's do a little time skip. Near the end of the year, almost everyone that knew us knew about us. I remember that all my friends were really loud about it, and it kinda just spread. This one guy kept being obnoxious and telling C about us all the time. Soon, his friends all knew, and yeah. By this time, we also got REALLY close. As in I barely even talked to my other friends, other than A. He didn't talk to anyone but our original group of friends. Me, A, B, and D. He claimed that he honestly didn't really care about A or B._

_See, A is kind of that mean girl. I didn't really like her that much, but we had some good times that I couldn't let go. So naturally, she acted really mean to C, and they kind of ended their friendship. Honestly, I was pretty much the only thing that was holding our group together. But...D STILL liked him. And that really bothered me, cuz she was close to him...she and I made up, and she said that she wished us the best, and wouldn't do anything to ruin me and C._

_And I was kind of happy...C and I pretty much blocked out the rest of the world, and we were really close, even in school. Unfortunately, no PDA allowed. XD so, he kind of got this lecture from my teacher about putting his arm around me, hahah._

_I'm trying to cram a year's events into this, so I'm sure I make no sense, sorry._

_Let's just skip to now. He was my first kiss...that's something really special. I also think I'm in love with him. Like for real. I have all the symptoms, and we've been "together" for almost a year. We can't go a day without talking to each other, and it's like a perfect relationship. But...sometimes I feel like it's always me starting the conversation and me suggesting dates, and stuff like that. So, ms boy expert, is it true that girls usually give a lot more than guys? I mean, it's him doing all the physical things, like hugging and stuff. And he says sweet stuff all the time. It's so darn confusing! I miss him and react badly when he doesn't reply. Then I don't talk to him, but he doesn't really start the conversation._

_I asked him about it, and he said he was really busy over the summer, but sometimes I text and he replies in a few seconds. Am I getting desperate? Am I going crazy? I mean, I CRIED when he was a tiny bit mad for like two seconds. And I think D STILL liked him the last time I checked. Which was in the beginning of summer, but seriously!_

_Aghh. So basically, I have a complicated relationship that I don't know how to deal with, but I'm not willing to give up. Complicated friends...I still talk to A every day, but I just feel bad if I ignore her texts. B and I are on good terms. Not close though. D and I are good too, but I'm kind of upset still. And C? Right now, I'm really annoyed at him...sigh..._

_HELP ME! And sorry. I'm sure it was torture reading through this jumble of words._

_I love you to death...that is, if you help ;)_

_~Skye  
><em>

_Omg. That looked horrible! Why was it so long? I felt like I skipped a bunch of events!_

_I have a horrible love life. That only consisted of three people. All of which I ranted to you about. Not that I actually loved the first two. It was a schoolgirl crush. Now I feel bad, since the only people I've ever like actually liked me back. Some girls would really want that. Oh well! I'm sorry. Soooooo soooo sorry! Will you forgive me? I promise I'll stop bothering you now! PROMISE!_

~:*:~

**Oh my God, Skye. That made my brain hurt. Like you don't even know. I had to like stand up and walk around my house for ten minutes while attempting to get rid of the pounding in my skull. LOL.**

**You know, usually, I say stuff like "never let a guy get between you and your friends," "chicks before dicks," and things of that nature.**

**But that's always been when the guys a player. Or he can't choose which one he likes.**

**But he obviously likes you.**

**I've had a lot of difficulties with my friends over guys. It got to a point where Liz had liked this guy since kindergarten (...well actually she still likes him...) and he had liked her. But finally, she got pissed that he was too scared to make a move, so she pretty much dumped him as her "almost boyfriend" (as you put it). So we all figured he was toast and that she didn't like him anymore. So naturally, him and I were friends. And I started to like him. So then of course (because nothing in my nonexistent love life ever goes right) Bex went and made out with him like a total ** and they dated for a while.**

**And guess what me and Liz did. Even though it hurt us, even though we were totally jealous, and tangled in a "I like him, he likes her" issue. We sucked it up. We got over. We don't even hold it against each other. Because we were still friends. And even though we were jealous, we were still able to have good times together. To laugh together.**

**And then of course when he dumped Bex a month later, we were there to pick up her pieces.**

**That is an example.**

**Here is another example that is completely contradictory, mainly because of the fact that in this situation, the friends aren't in love with the same guy, but totally hate him like you said A hated C. (if I got those letters correct...0.o)**

**Anna Fetterman was after this guy for the longest time. And me and Liz were CONSTANTLY telling her to dump him. It's not that we were jealous. It was that Anna Fetterman was totally lovestruck by this guy, therefore blind and unaware of WHAT A TOTAL CREEP HE WAS.**

**FINALLY, after like a MONTH of trying to talk her out of this, she listened. And dumped him.**

**This is an example of how love is blind. Therefore, Mr. Lover Boy may not always be who you think he is, ladies.**

**Keep that in mind.**

**Skye your message is so long and confusing I honestly have no idea how much I covered so feel free to repeat questions in your response, hahahaha.**

**So I guess the moral of that story is that "guys come and go, but besties are forever."**

**Unless those girls aren't actually your besties. And you have absolutely no desire to keep fighting with them because they sound ridiculous. And then you can just leave them alone. But that means if Mr. Lover Boy ever dumps you, then you will have no one to TP his house with.**

**Love,**

**~m**

~:*:~

_I'm so so sorry! I just wanted to pour it all out. Sometimes it takes just that to make the world seem a little brighter. You should be honored that I chose to torture you. ;)_

_Oh, he's not a player. I know that much...for various complicated reasons. He was my best friend first, and I can honestly say that I know him really well. He's not that type of person. It's more like an insecurity thing...he thinks he's unpopular and always alone. Never fitting in, etc._

_Now I feel stupid. He does like me! I feel really bad now. It's kind of like...I know that he wouldn't betray me, just because of our history, but it still annoys me. What if people start thinking he likes someone else? I get really annoyed at rumors like that. Although now that I think about it, there haven't really been any..._

_But I'm going crazy about him! And I don't know what's supposed to be more important, the way he treats others, or the way he treats me? Because I'm supposed to be all supportive and stuff, and be there for him even if everyone hates him. This probably doesn't even make any sense! Everyone likes AND hates him. What is this screwed up world we live in?_

_They're not really my besties, and yes. They are ridiculous._

_Okay, thank you so much! I feel much much much much much much better! Are you magical? 0.o_

_~:*:~_

**Yeah... I'm magical. You haven't been able to tell from all the girls I've helped and love I have made in the lives of these people? LOL.**

**Okay, so I hope you feel better.**

**I can't think of what else to say. Feel free to ask more questions.**

**Love,**

**~m**

* * *

><p><em>Here's by sort-of boy problem:<em>

_There's this boy that I sat by in English all year and he was really annoying and kinda mean especially to me but one day when I asked him to edit my essay and I told him it sucked he said he doubted that it was bad. And another time I got a really good grade on this really hard assignment we had, and he told me good job and gave me a high-five but yet all the other times he wouldn't shut up and was mean. _

_What does this mean? Does it even mean anything? I'm so confused, totally new to "boy stuff", and not quite sure if I like him. Please help!_

_~gallaghergirlalltheway_

~:*:~

**Can you give me examples of how he was mean?**

~:*:~

_Erm...well he wasn't completely "mean" but he would flick mine and my friends heads really hard and he would say really rude stuff to us..._

~:*:~

**I would like to say that this guy sounds like a jerk. Mainly, when I guy is rude to you, flicks your head, and insults you and your friends, it means he doesn't like you.**

** He probably said that your essay didn't suck because he knows you're a hell a lot smarter than he is. You are a lot smarter than he is primarily for the reason that YOU don't go around flicking people in the head or insulting them. (But I mean IF you do, then that's totally okay too...no judgement here. Flicking people is fun...)**

** Anyway, if I were you, I wouldn't waste my time liking some jerk like him.**

** But then again, if any of us could help who we fall in love with, this story wouldn't exist.**

** Love,**

** ~m**

* * *

><p><em>So Macey,<br>_

_I had this best friend, we were really close, but suddenly one day it was over. One day out of the blue she sent 14 messages saying 'We can't be friends anymore' . _

_I guess she thought once wasn't enough to hurt me so she had to send me the message 14 times and it really hurt me to the point I was crying (Ive lost friends before but they didn't mean as much as this one, so I didn't cry over them). _

_So I was crying most of the day (during school) and now when I look at best friend stuff it just reminds me of her, and sometimes I feel like crying. _

_- Angie_

~:*:~_  
><em>

**Angie,**

**Fighting with your friend, especially your best friend, is always one of the worst feelings in the world. Your entire body just feels heavy, you feel rejected. You feel stupid. You feel like you weren't good enough.  
><strong>

**And you're always left questioning what went wrong, because it's not like you can read their mind, right?  
><strong>

**In all honestly, she probably rejected you because some rude thing someone said about you. Or drama. Or both. Some people are so shallow. People like this aren't worth your time, Angie. She wasn't worth it. And even though I'm sure you guy had a lot of a great times together, a lot of inside jokes, sleepovers, laughs, smiles, it's all over. But that's okay. Remember the good things. Remember the happy things. But also remember that SHE was the one who was superficial enough to walk away.  
><strong>

**Remember that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. And now you are stronger as a person. Better as a person.  
><strong>

**One of my favorite quotes is from Marylin Monroe:  
><strong>

**"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you can learn to appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so, eventually, you learn to trust no one but yourself. And sometimes, good things fall apart so that batter things can fall together."  
><strong>

**Yours Truly,  
><strong>

**~Macey  
><strong>


	14. Master of Loveliness

~Chapter 14: Master of All Loveliness~

_Dear Master of All Loveliness,_

_I NEED HELP! Okay, so it's complicated..._

_ I'm home schooled (well not now because it's summer! Duh... lol). So anyways, you know how there is that new Star Testing thingy?_

_ Well for that, we have to go to this place and take the test. So I had a friend who was going there, too and she had another friend. Me and my friend's friend became best friends (like closer than the first one!). We tell each other a lot. There is this other friend, but none of us are friends with her anymore because she said that the first friend -  
><em>

_(Okay, let's say the one I was talking about in the beginning is f1. f2 is my bestie. f3 is the girl I don't like)  
><em>

_So anyway, f3 said f1 was "an annoying brat who is trying to be popular." Which is SO not true because f1 is actually really shy (so we don't like her), but she had crush and I liked him too. But she liked him too. But I REALLY like him and the saddest is I only know his name.  
><em>

_I know right - so sad.  
><em>

_Anyway, I haven't talked to f3 in a long time. f2 just told me yesterday that she liked said boy. Because of his eyes. Well his eyes are the best part...Oh God his eyes...*sigh*...  
><em>

_Sorry. Okay. So I said in a joking way, "Omg. I hate you! Lolz, jk."  
><em>

_Then she was like, "Haha, I know."  
><em>

_So we sort of left it at that... But I'm really mad at her because it hurt that she would like him. It's sad because, as I said, I only know his name. But I don't know. It's crazy. I can't stop thinking about him. Legit, I feel so empty when I think about him. Like I have to have him near me at that moment.  
><em>

_Oh my gosh... I'm so pathetic.  
><em>

_Well, should I make a move next time I see him? Should I tell my friends she can have him? Or live my life without ever telling either of them? Because I'm seriously considering option number three...  
><em>

_Thank you so much! I know my case is lame and really has no point.  
><em>

_x3 Natalie  
><em>

~:*:~_  
><em>

**Dear Natalie,**

**Thank you for recognizing the fact that I am indeed lovely. I think more people should recognize how lovely we all are.  
><strong>

**You say that it's complicated, but honestly, you're making this more complicated than it needs to be.  
><strong>

**It shouldn't have hurt when she said that she liked him. You don't own him. He isn't yours. The only thing you know about him is that he has nice eyes and a name. Wow big woop. If it was true love for every guy that I knew with nice eyes and a name then I would sure as hell have a lot of freaking husbands.  
><strong>

**You're making something out of nothing. This is nothing because you don't know him at all. Once you know him, then we can talk.  
><strong>

**So get to know him. Unless it's gonna crush a friendship that's important to you.  
><strong>

**Sincerely,  
><strong>

**~A True Master of All Loveliness  
><strong>

* * *

><p><em>Macey, I need your help!<em>

_So, I have this annoyingly unavoidable "relationship" with this disturbingly hot boy._

_He is my best friend's brother. And he thinks that I like him. I don't. At all. Because for all his hotness, he is a jerk. Like, does drugs, drinks, and has a new girlfriend every two days._

_And, unfortunately, I see him more than my best friend.  
><em>

_I can't STAND being around him. Sooo, the last time I saw him, I miiight have come off as a liiittle bit offensive. That normally wouldn't bother me, except that now he will tell people. Lot's of people. And they'll listen. _

_Tell me, Oh Goddess, what I must do!  
><em>

_~Em_

~:*:~_  
><em>

**Dearest Em,**

**Way to go! I thought I made it clear to never piss off druggies... hahah just kidding :)  
><strong>

**Anyway, how where you offensive? Where you like "you're a jerk" and then he was like "I know." Or was it like *slaps him in the face* "LEAVE ME ALONE." Or maybe: "You're just a stupid drug induced man whore!"  
><strong>

**Either way, he obviously can't take the truth. Next time you see him, if you REALLY wanna rub it in his face, just be all: "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen." THAT, my friend, will REALLY piss him off.**

**But, it seems like you sort of want to make amends (or at least save your own ass).  
><strong>

**So who are these important people that he's going to tell, Em?  
><strong>

**Maybe just tell him that you were moody that day because your washing machine broke. Therefore, you only had enough cloths to make it through the next five days, so the end of the world was bound to be on day six.  
><strong>

**Or you could tell him that it was that time of the month. That always shuts up guys REAL quick.  
><strong>

**Yours Truly,  
><strong>

**~Macey McHenry**

* * *

><p><span>Reasons Why I Want to Use My Neighbor's Face as A Dartboard: A List By Macey McHenry<span>**  
><strong>

1. He sucks. Why does he suck? Oh, well because he acts like I don't exist.

2. He likes his stupid lab partner. WHAT KIND OF SICK CLICHED PERSON DOES THAT?

3. I honestly think he might be a freak. This is because that he told me that he plays frisbee at lunch. The only people at my school who play frisbee at lunch are the people who wear their pants at their breast-line, and you wouldn't be caught dead talking to. But then again, he doesn't go to my school.

4. If he went to my school, I'm pretty freaking sure we'd be dating. Because I would be the only girl he knew.

5. When I came home from the store this morning he was sitting on my couch. IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE?

6. Besides just sucking in general, he sucks at texting.

7. He ALWAYS butt dials me and I get all excited because for like 5 seconds I actually thought that maybe he was calling to propose. Just maybe.


	15. FanGirling

~Chapter 15: Fan-Girling~

_Okay Macey,_

_So I've been reading this for a while and finally plucked up the courage to write to you about one of my many problems but I warn you: it will be long... so sorry:P_

_Okay so I have many trust issues. I fully and completely admit it. I have a very difficult time letting people into my life and becoming close to them and this is mainly due to many bad experiences. _

_So when I was younger I had this "friend" and we were always together. Come second grade everything got a whole lot worse (we met in Kindergarten). I would literally come home every day after school crying because of something she said to me. She would make fun of me because of anything I did or said and my mom helped me but said the old saying "sticks and stones". You know that right? _

_Well we still stayed "friends" even through this all if you could even call it that. Well come 5th grade it got a whole lot worse. I have dark hair so my eyebrows are really dark and I didn't pluck or wax of anything there so she would tell everyone I had a uni-brow. And every time I wore one of my fave clips that had blue and white strings coming off it (that my aunt made for me), she would say I was old and had white hair. _

_Then they made up this terrible thing called the "dork button" and whenever I walked into a room they would scream out "dork!" and I know that it's not much, but when I was younger it really hurt. (Okay it still does sometimes.) _

_So we kinda took a break from being "friends" and I really just started talking to her again this year. But after her I got another friend who I thought I could really be myself with. We were literally joined at the hip for 3 years. _

_Well 8th grade we kinda starting to drift apart which I get because she was going through some family issues so whatever right? She starting to hang with the "popular" crowd and for some reason they all hated me...not exactly sure why, but oh well. _

_She went to a different high school and the previous year she had indirectly refused to give me her cell number so we didn't text or anything. Well she was still in my dance class so naturally I thought we were still at least friends. I knew we weren't BFFs but I figured we could still talk and stuff, but she had other ideas. _

_I said hi to her the first day and you know what she does? Completely ignores me, says hi to my cousins sitting right next to me, and walks away to her new popular friends. _

_I was like "Okayyy, whatever," but she didnt say one word to me the entire year except for thanks when I congratulated her on her solo at the recital. So this year I met this really cool girl who knows the girl from that last example and we started talking a lot. She wants to be like best friends, but I'm really afraid. I really don't want to be left in the dust AGAIN because it completely sucks. But she seems different but I just don't know. _

_What do you think I should do? Should I gt close to her or keep my distance? Any ideas? All or any help would be greatly appreciated and welcomed! Thanks so much again! Sorry for the length of this! I didn't realize it would be this long and I'm only making it longer so I'll stop now._

_- Hopelessly Confused and Hurt_**  
><strong>

~:*:~

**Dear Soon To Be Healed By My Magical Powers,_  
><em>**

**First of all, I'm really glad you're brave enough to share. It's silly to go without help, when I'm obviously sitting here at home, sipping coffee and mending your lives' back together.  
><strong>

**I know exactly where you are. I'm actually going through the same problem right now. I'm always really reluctant to trust people. Which is mainly why I have no friends and sit here helping you guys all the time.  
><strong>

**It's like... You don't want to take any chances anymore. Because you're afraid that if you fall, no one will be there to catch you.  
><strong>

**I know exactly how you feel.  
><strong>

**But you cannot be afraid of the future because of the past. The past is the past. We all make mistakes. We all get hurt. We all cry.  
><strong>

**If you keep living in the past, you'll never be able to enjoy the present. Yesterday was history, tomorrow's a mystery, today is a gift - that's why it's the present.  
><strong>

**As you know of my deep obsession with Taylor Swift, I have a quote from her:**

**It's okay to be afraid of falling, but it's fearless to jump before you fall.  
><strong>

**~m**

* * *

><p><em>Okay... so random question:<em>

_Have you watched the YouTube video of Josh Hutcherson licking his lips?_

_ Because it was awesome... I almost had a heart attack._

_Seriously... that boy looks good in blonde AND brown hair and NOW he licks his lips all hotly._

_What DOESN'T he have? I honestly think he is gonna b the death of me *sigh*_

_x3 Natalie_

~:*:~

**Omg! I totally just looked it up...best 33 seconds of my life..**

~:*:~

_So true! I was watching hunger games with my sister and her friends (they are in college, while I'm in junior high. So we're like 5 years apart) and I was trying SO hard not to squeal and start fan-girling over how hot he is and I got really mad when my "so-called sister" said he looked bad! _

_I don't even know her anymore!_

_x3 Natalie_

~:*:~

**Omg, he's so hot... ugh i just LOOOVE him!**

** uggghhh..**

~:*:~

_Ikr! It's so hard to describe how hot he is because he is so indescribably hot, you know?_

_x3 Hummus_

~:*:~

**HUMMUS? I JUST ATE LIKE AN ENTIRE BOWL OF HUMMUS OMG I LOVE HUMMUS, IF I WASN'T ALREADY MARRIED TO JOSH HUTCHERSON, I'D MARRY HUMMUS...**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey everyone! First I would like to give a shout out to TheOtherPeacock because she reviewed like A TON! Thank you :)<br>**

**And now I would like to thank everyone who has ever reviewed, sent a problem in, followed, favorited, etc, or all. I love you guys so much, and if it weren't for the participation of you guys, then there wouldn't be a story! (because everything in this is pretty much true.)  
><strong>

**Also, if you have REVIEWED a problem, and I haven't answered it, I AM SO SORRY. Just review and let me know! it's just tough because sometimes I forget, or I get distracted, or I start eating hummus...  
><strong>

**And then everything just goes down hill from there.  
><strong>

**Yours Truly,  
><strong>

**~Macey McHenry  
><strong>


	16. I Never Want Summer to End

~Chapter 16: I Never Want Summer to End~

_Dear Macey, _

_Soo...I have a problem. See, I think my friend is a really cool person, and we've known each other since third grade (we're in ninth grade). I love her like a sister, but I feel like I'm following her too much. _

_Ya' know? _

_I don't want to be a follower, because I don't usually like people who are like that. So, if I am one then that makes me a hypocritical pain in the arse and that's not me. _

_Can you please tell me how to find myself and learn to do my own thing? _

_- A follower of a friend_

~:*:~

**Dearest Follower,  
><strong>

**I think it's safe to say that we've all been in a situation like that. You never want to be clingy and annoying, but you don't want to become standoffish or anything!  
><strong>

**My greatest advice would be just to go somewhere quiet. Go somewhere you like. Go somewhere you've never been before. Go to your favorite place. Go wherever. Go somewhere that you feel comfortable. Think of a good place. When you think of the right place, you'll KNOW that that is where you want to be.  
><strong>

**Go there alone. And just give yourself some time to breathe. And think. Think about everything. Think about things that'll make you laugh to yourself. Think about things that'll make you sob on the floor. Think about things that make you happy. Think about what you need to get done. Just think about everything.  
><strong>

**As Kelly Clarkson says, make a wish, take a chance, make a change, and break away.  
><strong>

**Just do it.  
><strong>

**You know, mid freshman year, I felt the exact same way. I felt like I didn't know if I had any actual real friends. I felt like I had lost myself in this new sea of people called high school.  
><strong>

**But one day, I woke up and I decided that I didn't want to feel that way anymore, or ever again. So I changed. Just like that.  
><strong>

**I started talking to new people.  
><strong>

**I started being myself.  
><strong>

**I broke away from what everyone else thought defined me. **

**I realized what it felt like to be free. **

**And happy. And I'm still happy. **

**I discovered that some person who you think is your friend, that is actually dragging you down, isn't worth it because your friends are supposed to make you better.  
><strong>

**You want to know whats worth it?  
><strong>

**Happiness is worth it.  
><strong>

**Being happy can be a multitude of things. It can be staying up all night listening to Taylor Swift's new single. It can be laughing at your brother as he tells you a joke. It can be running to the park in the rain, no matter what anyone else thinks.  
><strong>

**Being happy is being able to just shut out the rest of the world and laugh.  
><strong>

**Because when it all comes down to it, being happy is what's really important.  
><strong>

**You can't depend on other people to make you happy. You have to make yourself happy.  
><strong>

**You have to be spontaneous and unafraid. You have to do what's best for you in the long run. Not try to fix broken hearts or save someone else. Because happiness is an inside job. And guess what. If they wanted to be happy, they would be. If they tried hard enough, they could change.  
><strong>

**But some people just like to sit around, drowning in their own misery. Drowning in their own mistakes. Drowning in their own life. And it shouldn't affect you.  
><strong>

**Because after all, it's their life, not yours.  
><strong>

**Do what makes YOU happy, without relying on other people.  
><strong>

**You want to know what I did second semester of freshman year to make me happy? I started figuring out when other classes were going on field trips. Not even classes I was taking. I would find out where they were going, when they were doing, and go talk to that teacher. I give the teacher this big long speech about how I was fascinated in whatever they were studying on that field trip and I would beg them to let me go. I won every time and during second semester, I went on at least one field trip a week. It's not like it affected my studies. I got straight A's. It's just that every now and then, we all just need a sanity day from life. We just need our own chance to be free. We need that opportunity to get on a bus with random strangers and just drive away.  
><strong>

**Because being spontaneous can lead you somewhere that you didn't even think you could have ventured before.  
><strong>

**On those field trips that weren't even mine, I met tons of new people, learned a lot of new things, and did stuff I never even thought I could do.  
><strong>

**Just because I asked. Just because I tried something different.  
><strong>

**In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.  
><strong>

**~m  
><strong>

**P.S: In case you were curious, these are just a few places I went: The Getty Museum in LA, The Holocaust Museum in LA, Sea World, a health convention where they passed out condom necklaces, and SO many more places. Sometimes it takes a long time to find yourself, so in the meantime, do what makes you happy.**

* * *

><p><em>Macey,<em>

_My first problem happened a while ago, like in October (I think...) _

_Here it is:_

_My BFF (and locker partner...not anymore, though, it's summer), Sydney, started to hang out (only in school, like at lunch and stuff) with these two girls, in our English class, the Sarahs, and I don't know what to do. She's never my partner anymore (like when we have to read something or in P.E) and doesn't sit next to me in lunch. _

_All of our other friends don't like the Sarahs either, but we don't know if Sydney does. _

_They are also super annoying and put their arms around my friend and say her name dozens of times, I can tell she's annoyed by it, too. _

_I wanted to know what you thought I should do/ should've done._

_Thanks,_

_~Chameleon101_

~:*:~_  
><em>

**Chameleon101,**_  
><em>

**Hmm. The Sarahs. I know a lot of people I do not like named Sarah.  
><strong>

**Anyway, if you say that she LOOKS annoyed by them...then she probably is. You guys are best friends, right? So I mean, you obviously can read each other like open books, right?  
><strong>

**I'd say if she looks annoyed then maybe she just finds the fact that they have the urge to say her name 600 times per second.  
><strong>

**But if she continues to hang out with them, then maybe she just likes what they have to offer her. Like attention or popularity or something like that.  
><strong>

**If I were you, I would have backed off a little. That's what I always do when I'm testing people. I back off a little to see if they'll make the effort towards me. Like if they'll text me first or ask to be my partner first.  
><strong>

**If she ended up passing the test, I would've accepted the fact that she can have more than one group of friends. Lots of people do and that's okay.  
><strong>

**If she didn't, I would've been hurt, but I would've moved on. I'd rather know the truth than be strung** **by someone fake.  
><strong>

**What did you do?  
><strong>

**~m**

* * *

><p>This will now be the section that I spent ranting about my life. Enjoy.<p>

Well, needless to say, it's summer. For me still, at least. And due to the fact that summer is almost over, and I have to go back in like 10 days, I'm kind of having one of those attitudes where I chuck my phone against the wall at five minute intervals and eat everything in plain sight.

Not only do I have to go back to school, but I have also had to spend a good freaking portion of my summer doing SUMMER HOMEWORK. It's not like I'm taking summer school. You know what homework is for? Homework is for REINFORCING the lesson that you learned in class THAT DAY. Therefore, no student should have to be obligated to do homework because you CAN'T reinforce something we HAVEN'T learned yet.

Also, it's called HOMEwork. As in, you do it at HOME. Well what about all those people who spend their summers backpacking in Europe? They're obviously not at home.

Another great thing about summer is that my parents also refuse to use the air conditioning. Like, it's literally like 103 and degrees outside and I'm just sitting in my room sweating and dying. Like what kind of sick world is this?

There's also the fact that I REALLY hate my neighbor. I hate him I hate him I hate him. And the fact that I've liked him for like two years like honestly doesn't make the hating thing that easy!

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. Like you text me, you flirt with me, you post of video of me on Facebook, you sleep over at my house, you teach me how to play basketball, you climb trees with me, you do tie dye with me, you watch chick flicks with me, you steal my cell phone, you sneak into my backyard at night so we can talk, and what. You don't like me. Are you sure? Like why not like what the asdfghjkl have I freaking ever done to you?

Ugh, I just wanna lie on my freaking couch and eat six cartons of Mint Moose Tracks Ice Cream and three orders of french fries and watch He's Just Not That Into You and just like lay there and cry.

Not only, does he not like me, but he's also freaking across the country in freaking New York. So not only do I have to feed his cat and his fish and like get his mail everyday, but his mom also like brought us over a ton of food that's theirs. Oh and guess what it's all his favorites. So now every time I go and get something out of the refrigerator and eat it, I realize five minutes later that OH THAT'S HIS FAVORITE KIND OF ASDFGHJKL! And then I'm just like FML I'M GONNA GO THROW IT UP BECAUSE I HATE HIM.

Ugh, tell me what to do girls. Help me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey girls. Yay, I updated. I was at camp. Maybe I'll write about camp next chapter. Maybe I won't. Maybe you guys should all tell me what to do because I'm obviously all distressed and sad and boy crazy. Maybe you should review.<strong>

**~m  
><strong>


	17. Distressed, Sad, and Boy Crazy

~Chapter 17: Distressed, Sad, and Boy Crazy~

As you girls read in my last rant about my life, it's not hard to say that I've got it bad. And literally sat on my computer and begged for your guys' advice. So here's what I've gotten so far:

* * *

><p><em>Macey,<em>

_So what's this boy like? I just need some more information before I make the call!_

_x3 Hummus, your favorite food ;D_

~:*:~

**Like UGH what's he like? Like what's he LIKE? Like I don't know what that means! **

**He's like always been really sweet to me and he play with his little sister and he defends me when my brother makes fun of me and he's one of the few people I can actually talk to, you know? Like believe it or not, I'm almost never shy with him. He's one of those people I could talk about anything with and he'd understand perfectly. We could literally talk for hours without running out of things to say because we just click. We have a thousand inside jokes and a thousand more memories.**

**We've made each other laugh, cry, smile, and ride 30 miles on our bikes just so we could see each other.  
><strong>

**We know everything about each other. We know each others' favorite songs, genres, and artists. We know each others grades for classes, and we don't even go to the same school. We know each others' favorite colors, and subjects, and sports, and people. We know so much. Laugh so much. Talk so much. And it just makes me not understand. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him. How could we have gone through so much together, but still have so little?**

* * *

><p>And then I got:<p>

* * *

><p><em>DITCH HIM! Ignore him pretend that couldn't care less. Let him think that he cant bother you so... Get over it because <em>

_A) Your awesome, B) Guys are more temperamental than a PMSing princess and C) Some guy who actually is worth your time will recognize your girl power-ness!_

_~MikaMouse  
><em>

~:*:~

**Dearest MikaMouse,**

**I like your tactics. But in all honesty, I've been trying those for a while. I came home from the grocery store one night and he's sitting in my sun-room, playing ping-pong. I said Hey and I sat down and I started eating some crackers that were on the table and watched him play. He then started teasing me about how those were actually HIS crackers so he was "pissed" (in a teasing way) that I was stomaching his food. I told him to get a life and I kept eating them. He stayed most of the night.  
><strong>

**I came home from camp the other day and he's sitting on my couch, playing PS3. I'm just standing there, thinking to myself like: _Why are you here? What do you want from me? Why do keep insisting on showing up in my life if it's so obvious that you have no interest in me? Is this a game to you? Just what do you want? Just leave me alone._  
><strong>

**So I shot him a nod and went and locked myself in my room, drowning out all my thoughts in Leave the Pieces by the Wreckers.  
><strong>

**I can probably tell you like a hundred other stories about me being indifferent but UGH it just doesn't make me feel any better. I would go and TP his house, except A) his dad is a psycho, so I'd definitely get caught, and B) even if I didn't get caught, I'd still be obligated to help them clean it up the next morning because apparently "that's what neighbors do."**

**The hardest thing I've learned so far about being the girl next door, is that with normal guys, it's always really easy to avoid them. You can go a different route in the hallways so you know you won't see him, you can transfer classes by making a complain to the discipline office about his "inappropriate behavior." But when you live next to the guy you like, it makes it a whole lot harder. Because every time you're driving home, you have to pass his house to get to yours. And every time you get the mail, he just happens to be outside. Or when you're taking out the trash, you just can't help but glance at his front door. Like when you're dog runs out the front door, and he just so happens to be outside - like he's waiting to help you chase your dog down the next 3 blocks, even though you're in your pajamas.  
><strong>

**For once, I just want to be something more than "the girl next door."**

* * *

><p>God, I'm a psycho..<p>

* * *

><p><em>Okay... So I do have a problem. It's long, I'm warning you. :)<em>

_So, it all started at my friends house. We were playing Truth or Dare, and the guy (who was my friend) was dared to kiss me. I wasn't comfortable with it though, because we were friends, so I told him I didn't want to._

_Then he asked if I would be his first kiss, and I thought it was really sweet, but, I wanted to stay friends. __I told him that I really valued our friendship, and I didn't want anything to ruin it, but he kept 'pushing the boundary'; like when I was sitting on the couch, he pulled me into his lap. I got up and walked across the room with a smile, but it was sooo weird._

_BUT that's not the worst part. I started to like him, but my best friend liked him too, I found out a couple weeks later. _

_She liked him so much that she and my other two besties ditched me so she could have him._

_So, not only did I lose a potential boyfriend, I lost three friends, because of this dude._  
><em> Yet, I still liked him :_

_But now my ex-bestie is trying to get him to like her, and he says that he still likes me, but he also likes my ex-bestie. __So I said, OK, whatever, and I moved on. But now he won't talk to me once I told him I liked this boy named Justin :(_

_Should I tell him that I still want to be friends, or just let him go?_

_Was I a bad person for just giving up on him?_

_SO CONFUSED!_

_-Aly_

~:*:~_  
><em>

**Dear Aly,**

**Trust me. I have MUCH longer problems :)**

**You're situation sounds sticky, but nothing that you can't handle with my help. First of all, TELL THIS GUY YOU LIKE HIM AND NOT JUSTIN. Corner him. Seduce him. Tell him how you feel. Steal him away from these fake best friends of yours.**

**The reason I say that they are fake, is because if they were really your friends, they wouldn't dump you over some guy.**

**Wait...do you still like this guy?**

**People come in and out of your life for lots of different reasons. You learn knew things, laugh, and cry. But in the end, people change so that we can learn to let go.**

**~m**

~:*:~**  
><strong>

_Okay, so I told him, and he said that he didn't like either of us anymore because there was too much drama._

_Then we decided to just be friends, which is good I guess._

_At least I have Justin :)_

_Thanks for your help!_

_-Aly_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Macey,<br>_

_I'm glad to hear that you look like the before picture of  
>a setting sun. Yes. Yes, I did know that. Many of my friends stalk your groom. And I'm sure Josh would very much enjoy cuddling with you to enjoy the movie. We must plan a girl only sleepover in the near future. Clique version -but with more ice cream and fattening - oops, I mean healthy - snacks.<em>

_Oh, yes. Amusement parks and people just add up to drama. A simple equation, really. Girls are annoying._

_Alas, there is a giant poster of Mr. Werewolf-Hottie-A (Lautner) in a store of the outside mall, so despite the heat, I am bound by hot-supernatural-creature law to stare it all day while sipping a whipped frappichino. Yes,that is what I enjoy ordering. Your piss -off-employee system seems spectacular, by the way. Can I borrow it?_

_Instagram, tumblr...always forced by besties. I would be honoured to follow you._

_Beach. Oh... your cam- honeymoon, sorry- sounds like a fun time. Make some new friends for me._

_So...tomorrow's the big day. Excited to marry the man of your dreams? Church girls never lie._

_Forever lovely,_

_~Sol_

~:*:~

**Sol,**

**I would like to start off by saying that there is no need to consider yourself as forever lonely, because you have me.**

**As for my golden skin, I think Josh will be pleased, and if I'm lucky, maybe I'll even get a few hickeys. An all girls sleepover, eh? Well, I think that Joshie might be disappointed to be kicked out of the house, but we might be able to work something out. First, what country do you live in? I live in the United States.**

**You know what, girls are REALLY freaking annoying. No wonder I don't have any friends.**  
><strong>Oh besides you :) my dearest Sol.<strong>

**Mmmmm. That guy is a hottie...(but don't tell Josh I said so...)**  
><strong>Feel free to borrow my ** off employee system anytime. Anytime, my friend, any time.<strong>

**Tumblr: katieisgreat DOT tumblr DOT com**  
><strong>Instagram: kkatiefosterr<strong>

**Tomorrow. *dreamy sigh***

**Can't**

**freaking**

**wait.**

**~m**

~:*:~

**LOL moment: I thought you signed "forever lonely" instead of "forever lovely." Maybe I am a dumb blonde...**

**~m**

* * *

><p><span>You Know You Have it Bad When...<span>

_A List By Macey McHenry_

1. You know you have it bad when you're craving the soup his mom makes. Not your mom. His mom.

2. You know you have it bad when you stand in your back yard, singing and hoping that he'll get the message.

3. You know that your friends know you have it bad because you have to change his name in your phone if you don't want them to be constantly texting him.

4. You know you have it bad when you guys go to Build-A-Bear together.

5. You know you have it bad when you become obsessed with eating his favorite kind of Italian sausage that his mom just brought over.

6. You know you have it bad when you offer to tutor him in math this year because you don't want him to fail AGAIN, because if he does he'll have summer school AGAIN, and summer time is supposed to be your guys' time.

7. You know you have it bad when the only two songs you've ever written have been about him...

8. You know that your friends know you have it bad when they repeatedly urge you to go stand in the back yard with them so we can all sing the songs I wrote.

9. You know that your friends know you have it bad when they're constantly encouraging you to go over to his house and seduce him.

10. You know you have it bad when just the thought of his smile keeps you up at night.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey everyone :) I just updated like two days in a row or something like that so now I expect a ton of reviews...right? Also, that is like the most I have ever gushed about a guy... like ever. So I'm like pouring my heart out to you people so please help me, hahah. Also I'm literally just writing my thoughts down so like...if it doesn't make any sense, I guess that's because my thought process doesn't make any sense..<strong>

**love,**

**~m**


	18. Q and A

~Chapter 18: Q&A~

So as I was surfing tumblr (because since I don't have a boyfriend it seems like that's what most of my life consists of), I came across some questions and thought that maybe I'd answer all of them...for entertainments sake...I decided upon this because most of them are weird. And random. And since it seems like you guys LIKE weird and random. I'll answer them. All ninety something of them:

* * *

><p><strong>1. Would you "do it" with the last person you text messaged?<strong>

Hmmm...well considering that the last person I texted was a girl, a girl being Rebecca Baxter, I'm going to say no because I'm pretty sure neither of us would enjoy that in consideration of the fact that we are both straight.

**2. You talked to an ex today, correct?**

Today? Well no, not today. Actually I avoid him at all costs. Like no joke, I spent a good portion of second semester figuring out which way to get to all my classes just so I wouldn't run into him. But THEN, yesterday, when I was hanging out with Liz and Cam, they decided it would be a GREAT idea to call him and ask him about me because for some strange reason, they think he still has some burning passion for me. So I pretty much spent all of that time running around Liz's house to get away from them while they chased me with the phone. It was great exercise.

**3. Have you taken someones virginity?**

Oh, of course. Just the entire student body of my high school. And Josh Hutcherson's. NOT.

**4. Is trust a big issue for you?**

Actually, it really is. I've never really been that girl who's just really good at making friends. I've always been more of the type that sits back and watches the show. People judge you a thousand different ways for that. Some people think you're a loser. Others think you're a bitch. Some people think you're better than all of them. Some people even think all three. I've never been one of those people who goes out of their way to say high to people in the hallways, or to start up a conversation with some complete stranger at Baskin Robins. I've just never been confident enough to do that. Sure, I'll be nice if someone talks to me. But I'm not the type to talk first. I guess once people leave, you're just scared that everyone else will, too.

**5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?**

UGH. He's across the freaking country, what do you think? All I freaking do is eat and eat and eat all the food his mom brought over, take care of his cat, and get his mail. Life sucks and then you die.

**6. What are you excited for?**

I'm excited for school to start. Sort of. Maybe.

**7. What happened tonight?**

I FINALLY finished my summer assignments (sort of) so now I'm free (sort of)! But currently, I'm sitting in here, listening to country music, and answering these questions because I feel like I know about your guys' life stories, while you barely know mine.

**8. Do you think it's disgusting when girls get really wasted?**

I don't know, I'm not really one to judge...

**9. Is confidence cute?**

That is a good question. Most guys who are confident also tend to be cocky. And the line between cocky and douchebag is a fine one. I hate it when guys get stepped all over. Hate it. No one should have to take crap from anyone else. Ever. So it's good to be confident, but not too cocky or egotistical, or douchebagish.

**10. What is the last beverage you had?**

This disgusting diet coke. *Shudder* Why mother? WHY? "Diet" is not WORTH IT.

**11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?**

One. Being my dad.

**12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?**

Yeah! I'm wearing one right now. Even though it's like 104 degrees outside, but hey, I mean, this is America.

**13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?**

This is going to sound like the lamest thing ever, but I'm going to have a movie marathon with my aunt while we pig out on ice cream. #BeingSingleSucks

**14. What are you going to spend money on next?**

Probably lunch. Because school starts Monday...*flicks away tear.* But the lunch at my school is pretty good...We have a nacho bar, salad bar, baked potato bar, sandwich bar, pizza, Pick Up Sticks, and other stuff. It's not that bad compared to other kinds of cafeteria food.

**15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?**

My dog?

**16. Do you think you'll change in the next 3 months?**

Dear God, I hope so. Mainly from single to taken. By the neighbor. Pronto. So I can have a date to homecoming.**  
><strong>

**17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?**

First, definitely my cousin Daniel. We know everything about each other. We're really close. We tell each other everything, always give each other advice, keep each other in check. And then my mom. She's pretty chill. And then my neighbor. We could talk about everything forever and we still wouldn't run out of things to say.

**18. The last time you felt broken?**

Thankfully, a very, very long time.

**19. Have you eaten pie today?**

I wish. I wish. I wish. Gosh, I love pie! Especially chocolate cream! OM NOM NOM.

**20. Are you starting to realize anything?**

I'm starting to realize that I don't want to be friends with people who drag me down. And if I want to make new friends, I need to start acting like one first.**  
><strong>

**21. Are you in a good mood?**

I'm okay, I guess. I'm in the mood where I just want to lay on the couch and watch Nicholas Sparks movies, crying for no apparent reason.**  
><strong>

**22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?**

So you ask me if I want to swim with sharks and I'm just like ugh. Like this exhausting. You know, like I will never swim with sharks. Like ever. (Anyone see the T-Swift reference?)**  
><strong>

**23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad's?**

Yeah. We both have blue eyes, even though my mom's entire side has brown. Because brown is dominant, it makes in genetically impossible for me to have blue eyes. Which is why I think science is sort of made up. And also one of the many reasons I spent all of second semester trying to figure out all the things I could sue my Biology teacher for.**  
><strong>

**24. What do you want right this second?**

A BigMac. And a boyfriend. Or both.**  
><strong>

**25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?**

Well it's not like I own him, but I'd be pretty sad and I wouldn't say anything to him because I'm a firm believer in the silent treatment, hahah.**  
><strong>

**26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?**

Duh.. (Even though Bex has literally spent the entire summer trying to convince me to dye it fire engine red with Kool-Aid.)**  
><strong>

**27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn't make you laugh?**

God no... How boring..**  
><strong>

**28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?**

The last thing that made me laugh was my little brother. Ranting about how much he hates the lunch lady. I was driving and I was literally laughing so hard that the car swerved.**  
><strong>

**29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?**

I should say yes. But no. I really don't.**  
><strong>

**30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?**

Nope. Definitely not, ladies. If some asshole, douchebag cheats on you, then no. If he hits you, then no. Not everyone deserves a second chance because if they really loved you, then they wouldn't have messed up the first time.**  
><strong>

**31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?**

Asdfghjkl, grrr, I don't know! Sometimes, I want to throw darts at his face and other times I just want to kiss him in the pouring rain.**  
><strong>

**32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?**

I don't think so... If he did and he didn't like me back, I think I might just actually die on the spot. Like bam. I'd drop dead on the floor. And then he'd stumble upon my dead body and be like "Macey McHenry is the most gorgeous girl in the universe and I want her to have my babies" and then he's kiss me and then I'd resurrect and we'd ride off into the sunset...Well I mean, that's how it goes in my head.**  
><strong>

**33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?**

HAHAHAHHA. No.**  
><strong>

**34. Listening to?**

I'm listening to Our Song by Taylor Swift. Every time I hear this song, I start to think about my stupid neighbor. I came out of the cave that is my room one night, and (go figure) he was sitting in my sun room.**  
><strong>

**35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?**

Never. Which is one of the many reasons why my Geometry teacher hates me. Because she is the kind of person who thinks that doing pen in math is work of the devil and things of that nature.**  
><strong>

**36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?**

My dog is laying on my stomach.**  
><strong>

**37. Do you believe in love at first sight?**

Yes. I have heard some AMAZING stories. Mainly from my Honors World History teacher. This is mainly due to the fact that she doesn't believe in tests, therefore we don't even have to learn history which means she spends all her time talking about her life. So anyway, her mother and two of her girl friends were strolling in a park one afternoon. They stumbled across three charming men. Within the next two weeks they were all coupled off and married. They have all been married their entire lives, happily. If that isn't love at first sight, then I don't know what is.**  
><strong>

**38. Who did you last call?**

The last person I called was my mom. I'm a cool cat, right?**  
><strong>

**39. Who was the last person you danced with?**

The last person I danced with was my cousin Daniel at that crazy wedding where we did all that tribal dancing and stuff. Did I already tell you guys about that? Tribal, Arab, Dancing. It's the best.**  
><strong>

**40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?**

Well because she's sitting on my stomach...**  
><strong>

**41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?**

When my step-sister (daddy was frisky in his younger days) shoved one down my throat on account of the fact that no one else would eat them and I'm one of the few people she could force.**  
><strong>

**42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?**

No, not yet. I'm still laying in bed in my pajamas, actually.**  
><strong>

**43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?**

No, but I did puke in front of my entire first period class on the first day of freshman year. That's gotta count for something, right?**  
><strong>

**44. Do you tan in the nude?**

Well considering that I'm practically as white as snow, and have hardly any free time, do you think I tan at all? Spray tans, on the other hand, are VERY easy to get addicted to, my friends. And when I spray tan I just wear a pair of my favorite underwear.**  
><strong>

**45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?**

Yes, I would actually. Because my dog just vomited all over my bed.**  
><strong>

**46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?**

Nope...I usually talk to the neighbor until I pass out but you know...He's in New YORK.**  
><strong>

**47. Who was the last person to call you?**

Nadia. Nadia is my funny friend. She also happens to be insane. But in a good way.**  
><strong>

**48. Do you sing in the shower?**

OF COURSE! What kind of sick person doesn't sing in the shower? People who don't sing in the shower are missing out on a part of life. I even sang in the showers at camp. In the woods, I sang in the shower. That alone stresses just how importantly dire and essential the joy that singing in the shower brings you.**  
><strong>

**49. Do you dance in the car?**

All the time! This really hot convertible of all hot teenage boys pulled up to me and Cam while we were in the car the other day. The roof was down and they were fist pumping and singing and bouncing the car. (Did I mention they were HOT?) And therefore, we rolled down our windows and started doing the same thing. Sexy. Beasts.**  
><strong>

**50. Ever used a bow and arrow?**

Of course. I mean, I'm MACEY McHENRY. When you know, I'm not doing my part time sniping job, I do archery at camp. I killed a squirrel last year. On accident. It was really sad. And also really funny.**  
><strong>

**51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?**

School Picture Day. Bex and I decided that since EVERYONE'S picture looks horrible, it must be the photographer and not us.**  
><strong>

**52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?**

How could you even accuse that? Who do you think you are? I'm pretty much addicted to High School Musical and Wicked. And don't even get me started about Hairspray! I watch Hairspray like three times a day. Like no joke. I sit on my laptop all day and watch hairspray and sing along and dance. Because Zach Efron is so HOT. Plus they wear cool outfits!**  
><strong>

**53. Is Christmas stressful?**

Definitely, yes. I'm one of those people who has never been able to enjoy Christmas. You know how I said daddy was frisky in his younger days? Well (apparently) so was everyone else. Therefore, I have an uncountable number of step-family and all of our holidays are spent hopping from house to house to house to house while all the crazy aunts try to convince you to eat THEIR desserts and all the men tell me about what terrible people the world of testosterone is and "to stay away from those damn boys." When really I should just be like "Oh don't worry NONE are attracted to me."**  
><strong>

**54. Ever eat a pierogi?**

I don't even know how to pronounce that word. The first half obviously says PIE which I LOVE, but I don't know what the hell a ROGI is. Does anyone else in the universe know? Anyone wanna google it for me?**  
><strong>

**55. Favorite type of fruit pie?**

Is pumpkin a fruit? IT SHOULD BE... *flicks away tear* I just love pumpkin pie...**  
><strong>

**56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?**

An FBI agent. An artist. An author.**  
><strong>

**57. Do you believe in ghosts?**

Yes, I definitely do. One lives in my room. He googles random things on my iPod. I know it's a ghost because no one in my family even knows my passcode. Also, he loves the song Call Me Maybe. If I try to turn off my music when that song is on, it turns back on my itself. Always. I can repeatedly turn it off, but every single time, he just turns it back on. I've also waken up in the middle of the night a few times to see it sitting in a chair across my room. I thought it was my brother. I started yelling at him to get out of my room and go back to sleep. It was 3 am. When my mom came in to ask what was wrong, I told her that my brother wouldn't get the hell out. She told me he was asleep in bed. When I looked back to the chair, it was gone...**  
><strong>

Oh! AND THEN at camp, Bex thought it would be A COOL IDEA to tell GHOST STORIES that have happened to her. WHILE WE WERE SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS. Guess who didn't get any sleep?

**58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?**

All the time. It kind of freaks me out.**  
><strong>

**59. Take a vitamin daily?**

Well, you see, I'm supposed to take this Vitamin that will help me NOT pass out. But I always forget to take it. Therefore, I always faint and people find me laying on the floor.**  
><strong>

**60. Wear slippers?**

Fuzzy socks?**  
><strong>

**61. Wear a bath robe?**

No?**  
><strong>

**62. What do you wear to bed?**

My tie dyed PE shirt (I was bored one day so me and the neighbor tie dyed) and spandex shorts.**  
><strong>

**63. First concert?**

FEARLESS CONCERT FOR TAYLOR SWIFT *flicks away tear* It was amazing. At one point, the stage burst into flames. I love her.**  
><strong>

**64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?**

Target. Me and Bex walk there like once a week (oh yeah, we have lives). Anna Fetterman went total creepo on us the other day...She told Bex she always sees her there with me...But like...she never says hi to us. Like that's not weird?**  
><strong>

**65. Nike or Adidas?**

Nike?**  
><strong>

**66. Cheetos Or Fritos?**

Fritos, if I have to..**  
><strong>

**67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?**

Sunflower seeds. One time, I ate so many in one day that the salt burnt all the taste buds off my tongue.

**68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?**

You Belong With Me. Because it's the story of my life.**  
><strong>

**69. Ever take dance lessons?**

Yeah. My partner was this smelly dude a year younger than me.**  
><strong>

**70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?**

No...like..I'm a teenager. Why would I ever spend any time thinking about that? Well then again, if I get married to the neighbor, he's gonna be in the air force and then go work for JPL...Ugh I'm a psychopath. WHAT KIND OF PERSON AM I?**  
><strong>

**71. Can you curl your tongue?**

Yeah, why would you care?**  
><strong>

**72. Ever won a spelling bee?**

I don't know. I've never taken the time to sign up for one.**  
><strong>

**73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?**

Yep. Whenever I'm PMSing and watching movies.**  
><strong>

**74. What is your favorite book?**

A book that ALWAYS puts a smile on my face when I'm sad is _The Poison Apples_ by Lily Archer. You should all read it.**  
><strong>

**75. Do you study better with or without music?**

Well I don't study? Shh, don't worry. I have straight A's.**  
><strong>

**76. Regularly burn incense?**

No..**  
><strong>

**77. Ever been in love?**

WHY WOULD YOU CARE? ARE YOU HERE TO SWEEP ME OFF MY FEET? KISS ME IN THE POURING RAIN? FALL IN LOVE WITH ME? NO? OH THEN SHUT UP.**  
><strong>

**78. Who would you like to see in concert?**

Taylor Swift. Katy Perry. Kelly Clarkson. Well actually, Katy showed up at Tay's...so I've sort of see her in concert?**  
><strong>

**79. What was the last concert you saw?**

In person: Jordan Sparks (that was torture)**  
><strong>

On DVD: Taylor's Speak Now World Tour. Preston gave it to me for my birthday a week before I dumped him so I couldn't watch it for a good three months out of guilt but FINALLY Cam watched it with me, haha.

**80. Hot tea or cold tea?**

Black Iced Tea with four pumps of raspberry and two Splenda, please.**  
><strong>

**81. Tea or coffee?**

Both.**  
><strong>

**82. Favorite type of cookie?**

I'm not really a cookie person but I like white chocolate macadamien (I don't know if that's how you spell it?) nut or chocolate chip.**  
><strong>

**83. Can you swim well?**

God, no. I hate water. I get freaked out when it touches my face.**  
><strong>

**84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?**

Yeah...I may be a teenage girl, but I'm not stupid.**  
><strong>

**85. Are you patient?**

On occasion.**  
><strong>

**86. DJ or band, at a wedding?**

DJ.**  
><strong>

**87. Ever won a contest?**

Yeah I just won one actually. I get to go eat lunch with some celebrities in December.**  
><strong>

**88. Ever have plastic surgery?**

No, but since every person in my huge, tangled, and frisky family has had a nose job, I sort of want one.**  
><strong>

**89. Which are better black or green olives?**

I don't like olives... I hope that doesn't make me a bad person, in your opinion.**  
><strong>

**90. Opinions on sex before marriage?**

I just think it would be really special to save it for the person you're married to.

**91. Best room for a fireplace?**

Well I live in California, so no one uses them anyway.**  
><strong>

**92. Do you want to get married?**

Yep. *cough* Neighbor *cough*

* * *

><p><em>Dear Macey,<em>

_ I am having a huge boy problem. I totally like this guy who is in my Chinese class, which we've been in for 2 years now and now we are starting high school together. When I told my friends that I liked him, they said he totally likes me. _

_I'm not sure though, because I heard from someone that he was dating this other girl, but it has not yet to be confirmed and I don't want to ask, because it might be too personal. But we text each other whenever we can and love to mess and tease each other. _

_I remember this one time when we were in class and I stole his pencil and he picked me up and spun me around tickling me just to get his pencil. I'm not sure if he likes me back, and I don't want to tell him, in case he does have a girlfriend or that he doesn't like me back. Help!_

_ Sincerely,_

_~A girl who is so_ confused!

~:*:~_ **  
><strong>_

**Dearest Confused Kristina,  
><strong>

**If he's comfortable to pick you up and tickle you, just to "get his pencil," then I think you should be comfortable enough to ask him if he has a girlfriend. When you guys are texting and messing with and teasing each other, just flirtily/teasingly say, "So is it true what I've heard about you and BLANK?"  
><strong>

**And then he'll be all like, "Well it depends on what you heard, cuddly bear" With a winky face!  
><strong>

**And then you'll just be thinking to yourself: _Grrrr, Why are boys SO STUPID? I don't understand why he couldn't just answer the stupid question! God, now I have to think of some cute response other wise he's gonna think I'm jealous and ugh I hate my life! Now we'll never get married and have 48 children!_  
><strong>

**Or something to that effect.  
><strong>

**And then you'll be like, "Hmmm, well SOANDSO said that you and BLANK had a bit of a thing? Like that maybe you guys were a thing?"  
><strong>

**And then he'll tell you.  
><strong>

**Or be cryptic again, but I trust you, so I know that you'll be able to get the information you want out of him.  
><strong>

**Yours Truly,  
><strong>

**~Macey McHenry**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey guys! Was that chapter funny or boring? Please review. The more that you guys review, the happier I am and therefore the MORE I write. Pleassseeee review, loves!<br>**

**I haven't done a disclaimer in ages!  
><strong>

**Disclaimer:  
><strong>

**Macey: *Strolls down street, whistling at three o'clock in the morning*  
><strong>

**Cam: *Carrying six rolls of toilet paper*  
><strong>

**Liz: Where are we going?  
><strong>

**Bex: To bloody Grant Newman's house to TP him.  
><strong>

**Macey: I just love the sound of toilet paper unrolling on someone else's lawn in the morning.  
><strong>

**Grant: *the next morning* *written in shaving cream on his driveway: I do not own the Gallagher Girls! HI GRANT! P.S: WE HATE YOU XOXOX* Fml.  
><strong>

**Review please! Send problems! Suggestions! Help me with my boy problems...?  
><strong>

**~m  
><strong>


	19. The Help

~Chapter 19: The Help~

_Aww gurrrl, you got it BAD! I think you should talk to him and ask him why he's always over and if he says something witty to avoid the question, I think he might like you. If he says he's bored, laugh in his face because he could probably have a ton of other things to do than bug his neighbor._

_ So, yeah, I hope I helped you, ya love sick turtle! (I would've said puppy but I'm currently thinking about teenage mutant ninja turtles.. ahh childhood shows...) _

_So shave or wax? Sorry, random question. I'm kinda really bored and my friend just asked me this...LOL._

_x3 Hummus_

~:*:~

****Thanks for yor advice! **  
><strong>

****When he comes back to my side of the country I'll definitely be sure to ask him, haha.  
><strong>**

**Shave or wax?**

**Hmmm well, you see, currently, I shave my legs and wax my eyebrows. But, honestly, if I could afford it, I'd get everything on my body waxed because I hate shaving. Really. Like I always get razor burn or end up cutting something and it just does not turn out well.**

**~m  
><strong>

~:*:~

_I am currently shirtless and moisturizing my feet. Lol, I'm sorry. I don't know why felt the need to share. ;) _

_I'm glad I can help! Soo do tell us what happened on your honeymoon with our Joshie boy! ;)  
><em>

_x3 Hummus_

~:*:~_  
><em>

**Hmmmm, Joshie boy. That, my dear friend, is classified information. But since you all know about the rest of my life (all my friends, what I like to eat, where I go, what I like to do, who I have to deal with) I don't see any reason why this should be kept a secret.**

** No reason, at all.**

** It was a beautiful day that it happened. The sun was shining brightly and the sky was a light, clear blue. Perfect day for an LA wedding. The only problem was that my limo driver got lost driving me to the church. So we continued to drive loops around Los Angeles until he finally came to his senses to call someone and ask. Like actually ask for help. I don't know if you guys have ever noticed this, but guys never want to ask help for anything. Ever. It's like they are trying to prove their manhood or something. **

** So I guess he called one of his limo buddies or something because we finally got there. My hair was already done, my makeup pristine. The only thing left for me was to put on that dress and walk down the isle.**

** I swallowed down the nerves. I walked into the back room of the church, obviously hiding from Josh, to find my smiling bridesmaids in there, waiting for me. Bex and Cam helped me put on my dress, while Liz hyperventilated out of joy for me and lectured about protection. (That was entertaining.)**

** It was finally time. As I began to walk down the isle, everyone turned to look. But I couldn't pay attention to them now. I didn't have time to say hi to my Aunt Susan who flew in from Texas. I didn't have time to blow my little cousins kisses as they jumped up and down excitedly. It was like time had stopped. All I could see was my soon to be husband, standing on that alter, waiting for me. My eyes were glued to his smile, hi bright, shining eyes. I think the reason that I was to happy to see him there, was that he actually meant it. He actually wanted this. I was excited that he actually showed up. (Because a small part of me was scared that Ashton Kutcher was about to jump out and yell "You've been Punk'd!")**

** So we got married. And then we partied. And then we danced like tribal maniacs. And we drank. And we ate some cake. And we drank some more. And then we flew to Bora Bora. And our honeymoon was pure bliss. Insert explicit content here.**

** Yours Truly,**

**~Macey McHenry**

* * *

><p><em>Macey,<em>

_Question #59 reminded me of that time I passed out on a field trip in an art museum, almost knocking down an extremely old, extremely expensive painting and flattening a twin. I'm as graceful as a freaking swan. More like newborn Bambi,but not as cute. o_o _

_But anyway, I find myself loving this blog as much as I love Ian Somerhalder, even though he's like nineteen years older than me and could be my father . . . (This kind of scares me, as all my other celebrity crushes are all 26-33 year olds. I was going to ask my mother if she found this weird, but I think she would be freaked out and send me to a psychologist.) _

_As for your neighbor, I'd like to share this brilliant quote from Oscar Wilde: "The very essence of romance is uncertainty." _

_Personally, I prefer to tell you this: "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary," also by Oscar Wilde. _

_Either one goes. You give fantastic advice yet you're unable to do the same for yourself. Listen to "You" and "Heart" by The Pretty Reckless; music always helps me, especially new music. I don't think you should be honest with him about how you feel until you're ready to. Continue writing, darling, you amuse me._

_~Bloody Lola_

~:*:~

**Dearest Bloodiest Lola,  
><strong>

**I'm glad I amuse you. It amuses me to know that I amuse you. I am also a very clumsy person. At camp I almost fell off a cliff. Bex saved my life. It is definitely okay that all your dream men are decades older than you, because so are all of mine. In fact, I stopped keeping track of all their ages because it makes me morosely depressed that I have a chance with zero of them.  
><strong>

**Thank you so much for the love quotes. I find those really helpful and now I slowly feel myself getting over him. Slowly is a key word here.  
><strong>

**I listened to those songs. They sounded pretty nice. Extremely helpful. And I sure am not going to be honest with him because I hated taking care of his cat and getting his mail while he was off living the good life across the country.  
><strong>

**Love,  
><strong>

**~Macey**

* * *

><p><em>Hey Macey, it's Aly again.<em>

_So there's this guy that texts me, like 8 times a day. Of course, I never respond._

_But, and here's the creepy part, he just automatically shows up at my locker between periods and follows me to my classes. Then whenever I talk about another guy (like my cousin Jaden) he freaks out and calls me a cheating whore, which doesn't even make sense, because we aren't and never will date! _

_So, all in all, how do you get rid of a creepy stalker person!? _

_- Aly _

_P.S. I would try to help you with your neighbor problem, but obviously I suck at all things boy related..._

~:*:~_  
><em>

**Wow, Aly.**

**That is music to my ears. I honestly thought that I was the only person who had a stalker.  
><strong>

**There are a few different ways you can approach this, so I'll give you all my ideas. First of all, you need to shake him off your trail. This is going to sound really weird, but try to avoid going to your locker. Try to carry a couple text books or whatever you need with you so you use your locker as little as possible. This will make it harder for him to follow you to class.  
><strong>

**Take different routes to classes. Get your friends in on it. For example, if they see him waiting by the door to your math class, have them notify you. You will then wait around the corner for him to leave. (He probably wouldn't risk being late to his class.) When there's only one minute left of passing period, go to class.  
><strong>

**Go to your cell phone company and explain the situation. Tell them about your dire need to block his number.  
><strong>

**File a report in your school's discipline office. (I did this and they removed him from all my classes! :D)  
><strong>

**Figure out how to maneuver the hallways so you don't ever see him. (Over time, you become pro at this. I know down to the second how long I need to linger in one place so I don't bump into a number of people in other places.)  
><strong>

**File for a restraining order.  
><strong>

**Tell your mom, dad, or another scary relative about it. (Whichever one is most aggressive and scary.) Have them call his parents and explain how he needs to stop following you around and texting you because "it makes you feel uncomfortable and is inhibiting your abilities as a student."  
><strong>

**If he confronts you about any or all of this, firmly tell him that although you're flattered, his obsessive stalking really is just creepy.  
><strong>

**If none of these work, I will personally call him and fix things.  
><strong>

**Yours Truly,  
><strong>

**~Macey McHenry  
><strong>

* * *

><p><em>Helloooo! I just got back from my vacation to Washington. It was pretty nice. I didn't know there were beaches there!<em>

_ How was your camp?_

_ I need to read all these stories now. There's like 100 email alerts in my inbox._

_ Okay, so one more question. What would you do if your (sorta) boyfriend doesn't really text you, but replies when you text him, and seems really happy about it? Cuz that's what happens to me. I wait and wait and wait, and then I decide to say hi, and he's really nice and stuff, and when I get annoyed sometimes and say I'm gonna leave, he's always unhappy, but he rarely texts me first anymore, and he always did before. Seriously, is it more worth it to stop trying to save what we have and try to move on (which will be impossible) or should I work harder and give it everything?_

_ Oh, and your neighbor. Sounds like a cool kid. ;) why is he in your house? That's a bit creepy. I can't really believe that he doesn't like you. Are you SURE he still likes his lab partner? It seems like he wants to spend time with you. You should take your own advice, you know. Just tell him that you like him. It seems like you two are really close. He SLEPT OVER with you? What kind of guy would do that for someone he didn't care about?_

~:*:~

**Wow, Washington. Fancy. Did you go to Forks? See the vampires? Flirt with the werewolves? That one's definitely on MY bucket list. And of course there are beaches, where else would Bella jump off that cliff into the water during one of her delusional Edward episodes? And then of course the sexy...shirtless...wet...(from the ocean, lol)...Jacob comes along and saves her. My God, if Taylor Lautner jumped into the ocean, SHIRTLESS, picked me up, cradled me, and begged me to come back to life, I might just die on the spot. (So he could give me mouth to mouth, of course.)**

** Camp. Let's just think about this for a minute. Two girls alone in the middle of the woods. Okay, okay. Sounds like no one will burn down the forest. Okay, now two TEENAGE girls alone in the middle of the woods. Okay, getting worse. A squirrel definitely died. Now me and Bex in the middle of the woods...**

** That's what I thought.**

** When we first got there, it was pouring rain. Luckily, we got an entire cabin to ourselves. So we pretty much hid out in there for the next three days and had absolutely no human contact. It was pretty nice, considering that because we are teenage girls, we would probably be content with sleeping, eating, and listening to the rain for the rest of our teenage lives.**

** Did I mention that Bex was hormonal that week? Well that was fun because when she had to go change her tampon, we had to run through the woods to find a bathroom in the middle of a HAIL STORM. **

** Good times, good times.**

** The great part was that we brought a stock pile of food. Therefore, we could avoid any other human contact by skipping meals. (Plus, we wanted to lose weight.) Another great thing about camp was the fact that we have very creative minds. So we spent a good portion of the first week telling ghost stories that have personally happened to us, and scaring the crap out of each other. **

** In the cabin, we found this bag that belonged to some counselors who had stayed in there the week before. It was mostly trash, so we sorted through it, throwing away some things, and keeping the important stuff. The important stuff included a flashlight and a bottle of fire engine red hair dye. **

** You see, we put them on this shelf. We were like okay this is their shelf for these stranger's crap. We rain to bathroom (through yet another hail storm) only to come back and find that the red hair dye was gone. We were freaking out. **

** We looked in the trash, under all the beds, through all our luggage. It was nowhere to be found. We were sure that we had left it on the shelf. We knew that anyone in their right minds wouldn't run through a hail storm to get a bottle of red hair dye out of someone else's cabin to then dye their hair fire engine red in the middle of a hail storm.**

** Therefore we decided our cabin was being stalked by a ghost and we were destined to die in there.**

** A few days passed, and finally we told one of the counselors about how freaked out we were getting. She then continued to laugh at us and tell us that she saw two of the other counselors dying their hair fire engine red.**

** We were so relieved that we weren't being stalked by a ghost and were not going to dye in the middle of the woods, inside our cabin, with no one to hear out screams.**

** We then got addicted to making lanyards. No joke, we made like 5 a day. Each.**

** Crazy, crazy fun.**

** What does it mean when your sort of boyfriend is too lazy to get off his ** and text you first? Well, you see dear Skye, I haven't talked to someone who is supposed to be my best friend because she never texts me first. I let it go on for about a year, Skye. A WHOLE FREAKING YEAR. I would wait. And wait. And wait. And then I'd wait some more. And then I'd eat some hummus. And then I would wait again. And then I'd finally just give in and text the dumb b*tch. **

** And then I decided that I didn't really miss her. I just decided I missed someone to tell all my sh*t too. So now I just tell all my sh*t to you lucky people.**

** Anyway, enough about me. I don't actually know. The neighbor has probably only texted me first TWICE. Like ever. When people do that, I'm just like, wow, you're a cool cat.**

** I've sort of given up on the neighbor. But I know that willpower will only last until I see him in person again and then I crumble. And I've completely given up on someone who was supposed to be my best friend because I decided she wasn't worth chasing. You just need to make a distinction. If you really want to talk to him, then hell, do it. **

** The reason people don't text you first is because either:**

** a) They want YOU to prove that you want to talk to them**  
><strong> b) They really are just busy<strong>  
><strong> c) They are lazy (like said sort of boyfriend figure)<strong>

** But if he's disappointed when you have to go, he might just be busy.**

** But I have this thought process that if they were busy, they would still find a way to talk to me if they wanted to. If they cared, then they wouldn't be too lazy to send me a two letter text message saying HI if they wanted to. **

** If I were you, I'd continue texting him first until you got REALLY sick of it. And then I'd wait it out to see if he did anything. To see if he cared. And then I'd try to move on and stop trying to save "what we had."**

** So, mmm, yeah the neighbor. He is pretty cool kid. A pretty cute kid, too. Why is he in my house? I DON'T FREAKING KNOW. I just like found him in there playing ping pong. Like I have no idea. I can't believe that he really doesn't like me either like I'm so irresistible... not. Hahahahhaah. **

** His lab partner? Ugh, I don't know. We were texting about it one time. This is how that went:**

** Me: So how long do you have to do summer school for?**

_ Him: *gives some stupid answer that I don't remember*_

_ Him: Wait, are you taking summer school?_

** In my head: Um like hell freaking no unlike YOU I actually passed all my classes**

** Me: No, why would I? Haha**

(I'm a lot nicer in words than in my head, obviously.)

_ Him: Oh, I don't know to see your lesbian best friend ;)_

(The one I mentioned earlier.)

** Me: Okay first of all, I'm straight as an arrow. Second of all, we don't even go to the same school. And third of all, YOU went to summer school last year just so you could hang out with Breeeaaannnnaaa so I would just shut up if I were you.**

_ Him: Hahahahah, how did you know about Breanna?_

** In my head: Your mom tells me everything. **

_ Him: It's okay, I don't like her anymore._

** In my head: OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD, He doesn't like Breanna anymore? He DOESN'T like Breanna anymore? Does that mean something? Does that imply that he likes someone else named Macey McHenry? Ohmygod, I have to tell Cameron! Is he gonna tell me he likes me? Omygosh pleeeeaaaaasssseeeee.**

** Me: So it's the lab partner then?**

_ Him: Yeah_

** In my head: All dreams crushed.**

** But like do you think I like ruined the moment? Like do you think if I hadn't brought up his stupid lab partner, he would've said he liked MEEE? UGH LIFE.**

** So yeah I don't freaking know if he likes his lab partner.**

** Everyone keeps telling me to take my own advice, but I'm obviously an idiot so that hasn't worked so far. Yeah he slept over, SKYE. LIKE IN MY HOUSE.**

** It was over spring break. (Well, actually, it was over HIS spring break. Mine was two weeks prior.) We told all the adults that him and my bro were gonna have a sleepover. They were cool with it. But my brother is two years younger than us, so he fell asleep super early. We spent the entire night doing crazy things. We played badminton in the kitchen, ate ice cream, sang Taylor Swift songs together, stole each other's cell phones. And then finally, when we were exhausted, we just lied down on my brother's floor together and talked. We talked until 2 in the morning. Until, finally, he walked me to my room, and I fell asleep.**

** I had school the next morning. But I was so happy, I couldn't even think about being tired.**

** But people always do stupid things they don't mean over spring break. And since this letter is already unbelievably long, I'll go off on a tangent about spring break regrets another time.  
><strong>

**In the mean time, lets just hope he doesn't regret or forget about me.  
><strong>

**Love,  
><strong>

**~m**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I did :) Please comment, review, anything! I'm glad you guys enjoy reading about mine and other peoples' lives!<br>**

**~m  
><strong>


	20. My Life is Stressful

~Chapter 20: My Life is Stressful~

So I spent a good two hours of my life watching HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU for the 6 billionth time yesterday. Time spent watching HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU is time well-spent.

* * *

><p><em>A letter to Madam McHenry:<em>

_Since I'm so polite and refined and crap like that, I shall start off most formally:_

_Hello. How do you do? How's Grandma Sha'quaniwa? Wonderful as always I assume. Glad to hear you had such a fabulous time on your honeymoon and your husband did not try to kill you a la that Fatal Honeymoon movie that was on Lifetime the other day that I watched. It was creepy. The guy wanted to lick hot chili off his wife's feet. He made her drop the hot food on her feet on purpose._

_Speaking of movies that I watched, I watched Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief. I realized something that day. Logan Lerman is hot. I had no idea what I was missing out on. Although the movie was stupid he made up for it._

_And I have a dire problem, Macey. I am addicted . . . to watching Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Now, I don't know if you've heard of the Boo, but she is bigger than Jesus. Honey Boo Boo is a kiddie beauty pageant queen. She has a gay pageant pig named Glitzy,who has painted toe-nails. It is a genius show that somehow manages to kill my brain cells while I'm being entertained by the sight of Glitzy ooo-ing on the table._

_I feel the need to inform you that I had a total "Wow, I get it now!" moment as I watch a commercial for a reality show featuring a former Disney boy band member, Joe Jonas. I think girls only like Joe Jonas for his groomed eyebrows. To end this hastily written letter, I bid you farewell and unicorn dreams and other pleasant things, __as I must run off and wax off my mustache like the lady that I am._

_With much bloody love,_

_~Lola_

~:*:~

**A Letter to the Most Entertaining Bloody Person Named Lola I know:**

**I do quite like your name. It is very flow-y. And kind of catchy. Lola, Lola, Lola. Me gusta. The guy who's heart I broke, yeah his sister's name was Lola. Never met her or anything, but I'm sure she was a cool person and all. Not as cool as you, of course.  
><strong>

**So anyway, I do just fine. Thanks for asking. I've always been slightly confused when people ask me "How do you do?" Like...how do I WHAT? Therefore, I use one word responses.  
><strong>

**How do you do?**

**You ask about Grandmother Sha'quaniwa. I'm sure that whoever she is, she is doing well. But because my grandmother's name is definitely not Sha'quaniwa, nor do I know ANYONE at all named Sha'quaniwa, I can honestly say that whoever said Grandmother is, I hope she's having fun at the Senior Center playing bingo.  
><strong>

**My honeymoon was quite fabulous actually. Thank you for recognizing what a beautiful thing it was that Josh did NOT try to lick spicy liquids off my feet. I quite appreciate the fact that he didn't do that either.  
><strong>

**Logan Lerman is on my list of men. He is a very attractive person and I'm glad that someone else actually thinks so. The movie was terrible in comparison to the book, but his shiny and amazing eyes definitely made up for that.  
><strong>

**I'm insulted to think that you don't think I know about the Boo. DO YOU THINK I LIVE UNDER A ROCK? Honestly, I try to avoid that show at all costs just because I value the lives' of my brain cells. And since I waste a lot of them watching Say Yes to the Dress, Four Weddings, and Teen Wolf, and need all the brain cells I can get.  
><strong>

**So yeah. The Married to Jonas show? It's actually Kevin. But they are easy to confuse. I watched that the other day because it was either "watch snobby Jonas family child go to prom" or "fall asleep watching golf."  
><strong>

**I chose the former.  
><strong>

**Love,  
><strong>

**~m**

* * *

><p><em>Dear Macey,<em>

_I just started this new school, and people are being mean to me. Mostly guys. I don't know what I did wrong. I tried being being nice. I even thought maybe one of them liked me, but is that really the answer to why they're being so mean? Why are boys so complicated? Why am I at this stupid school? How can you understand boys so well? Right now, I am totally confused and have no friends to turn to._

_~Your Blue Friend_

_P.S. Taylor Swift totally rocks._

~:*:~

**Dear Blue,**

**Although blue is a lovely color which is also my favorite, I would much rather you be in a happier state. Maybe next time I hear from you it'll be yellow. Yellows a nice color. It also means happiness. HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY.**

**I know it's near to impossible to wake up one day and magically become happy. Which is why I'm here to talk to you all.  
><strong>

**You tried being nice. How about being mean? DO NOT let people walk all over you. Ever. I regret not saying anything to people who criticize me or my friends. It's not worth the blow. Don't be one of those really annoying people who walks around with their face all scrunched up glaring at the world like everyone's out to kill them. I don't respect people like that. Like we all go through shit. I get that. But the world wouldn't hate you if you didn't act like you hated them. Just walk around with your head high, and pretend like you're better than everyone else. Act like you have bigger fish to fry. I'm not saying to turn into a snob. That goes against like any advice I've ever given...I think. I'm saying that you have show them you're not affected by them, even though you are.  
><strong>

**That's how I survived nine years of private school with the snobs.**

**Just blow people off.**

**Think of some nice witty comebacks. Embrace sarcasm. If someone insults you, throw something right back at them. People like other people with backbones. You can't be weak. You have to prove to them that you can play dirty, too.**

**Boys being mean to you.**

**Everyone continuously asks me this question. It depends how old you are and how mature the idiot boy is. I'm in high school. If a boy is mean to you, he probably doesn't like you. Unless he's an immature idiot who isn't worth your time because all those kind of people like to do is talk back to teachers and piss people. And then there's the cute TEASING kind of attractive boys who like you as a friend or sometimes even more.**

**But there is a DISTINCT DIFFERENCE between mean and teasing.**

**If you're in Jr. High, then the guys will totally be mean to you. They flick your ponytails and poke you're stomach. They're also usually as awkward as hell. If you're in Jr. High, I wouldn't even waste my time trying to pursue someone because everyone just goes nuts in high school.**

**If you're in high school, you know what I'm talking about.**

**If you're in Jr. High, you think we're joking.**

**Boys are complicated. We all know this for one reason or another. And this is because all boys are different. Let me try to explain this.**

**Boys are like music.**

**There are about sixteen billion different genres and sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.**

**There are the douchebag ones who just want some.**

**There are the sensitive ones.**

**And then there are the ones that don't know which card to play, because after all, they really are just playing.**

**And then there are subdivisions.**

**Within the sensitive ones there are the A) clingy ones, B) clingy to the point of stalking, and C) almost normal. (I have come to the conclusion that me and a very few select group of people are the only normal people on this planet.)**

**The douchebag ones are such douchebags that I'm not even going to waste my time trying to see their differences because all in all, they're just douchebags.**

**I'm sorry that I cannot answer why you're at your stupid school because even though I have spent the last hour answering all your guys' problems, I really don't know you. I just know how things work. And sometimes, you just need a stranger like me to listen to you talk.**

**All I can say is that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. And one of these days, you're going to wake up and realize why.**

**If I had continued high school in private school, I'd still probably be "the class bitch" who tells everyone like it is and has no friends. But luckily, I live in America, where everyday, it is okay to reinvent yourself. It's okay to change.**

**Raul Daul said, "If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams, and you will always look lovely."**

**Did you hear that, ladies?**

**You will ALWAYS LOOK LOVELY.**

**Who doesn't want that? It's just a natural thing. When you think about positive things, you just naturally look prettier. Have you noticed that happier people are always prettier people? Why? Because when YOU SMILE, when YOU LAUGH, people think to themselves, "Damn, she looks like one happy person. I wish I could be as happy as she is."**

**Love,**

**~m**_  
><em>

**P.S. I know she does.**

~:*:~

Okay, oh magical, Taylor Swift is awesome, Josh loving girl,

I NEED help. I have two major problems, besides the whole school new thing. My best friend says she hates me, but I don't know why and whenever I ask her why she says i think you know ,but what could ive done and at school some of her friends go to my school too they treat me meanly also by giving me evil stares but fyi they come out like constipated glares. one time the teacher askeed one of them during their stupid glares if the needed to go the office or something but i still dont know what to do and whenever i see something that we used to do it remind me of our friendship well thats now OVER im normally not the type of girl crying over this type of stuff but i cant help it this time. what should i do?

at my new school boys are still being weird to me and the girls at my school look at me like i murdered someone, i for one dont remember doing i think they are being weirder than normal guys that i have dealt with(i mean cut me some slack ive grown up with 4 boys)1) 1boy has to allways follow me to my class even if i have to go to bathroom ik creepy theyll wait outside 2) they are always saying something about me when they think im not in the room 3) theres that erie feeling that theyve been caught by a teacher or something doing something wrong. am i just paranoid or crazy or something. do i show sign that im needing physicatric help (please dont judge my spelling)  
>and theres this one boy in particular whose mean to me more than the others. hell ask me question during class, stand in front of my desk to get my atentions,calling me names. does this mean he like me and if so is that really how love is with boys?<p>

~:*:~

**Dear Blue,**

**Well I WAS taking the time to fix your spelling and grammar. BUT EVERY SINGLE TIME I START WRITING TO YOU, MY COMPUTER BREAKS. (Therefore, dearest readers, you can try to decipher whatever the hell she's trying to say just like I do with EVERYONE who sends me a problem.) So I've decided you just have an aura of bad luck. AND IT TAKES ME HOURS TO FIX YOUR GUYS' SPELLING. DID YOU PEOPLE PASS KINDERGARTEN? DO YOU KNOW WHAT A COMMA IS? **

**But anyway, don't take it personally. You seem nice.  
><strong>

**SO ANYWAY, MAKE SOME NEW FRIENDS. Just ditch these losers, because, in all honesty, some dumb bitch at your new school probably started some ridiculous rumor about you that is making everyone attack you.  
><strong>

**Get away from these loser sleezebags who are treating you like crap and go live your life.  
><strong>

**Two days ago in English, I wrote an entire essay on how you NEVER let people tell you how to live your life.  
><strong>

**If all the people at your school suck, go join a club. Go to church or something and make some friends there. If you live in the middle of a cornfield and the people at your school ALSO go to your church, then well just get out of their as fast as you freaking can.  
><strong>

**LIFE'S WHAT YOU MAKE IT.  
><strong>

**~m**

* * *

><p>This (again) will be the random part near the end where I talk about my life.<p>

So if you guys didn't know, my neighbor (yeah, the one I like) got hit by a truck.

It was only a couple nights ago (when he was teaching me how to skate board, and I was teaching him how to jump rope) that he actually told me the whole story. (Because, before that I had the beauty of finding out from my mother, and only because SHE was stalking HIS mom's facebook page.)

So anyway, there is this one really busy street that everyone rides their bikes down or runs on or whatever floats their boat. Some people freaking ride horses. So he was going along and some idiot car didn't stop and give him "the right of way" and therefore hit him.

He turned to the side, taking the impact on his shoulder.

His body dented the entire side of the car.

His face hit the driver's door so hard his braces literally got ATTACHED to his cheek. Do you all understand this concept? SHARP POINTING OBJECTS INSIDE MOUTH STAB INTO CHEEK.

OUCH.

When he hit it, he passed out. He told me all he could see was white. All the noises were muffled like in Charlie Brown when the parents talk to them and it sounds like this:

AGVKJSDLNBGFIKAZNGLRNBZAEJLS NKFNK

That's what he said it sounded like.

So naturally, when I found out, being the fun and LOVING person that I am, wanted to bake him cupcakes. (I then later remembered that he's lactose intolerant. LOL) So of course when I told my mother, she laughed in my face and said, "Oh YEAH. And then we can attach a heartshaped card to it that says: TO JAKE LOVE MACEY."

And I was just like, "SHUT UP, MOM."

So after he finished telling me the story, all the other neighbor kids had gone in. So it was just us, laying under the stars, talking.

* * *

><p><strong>REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY *flicks away tear*<br>**


	21. Getting Over Him

**LOL I'm not in the best mood so read with caution, hahah.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 21: Getting Over Him<span>

_Hey, Macey!_  
><em>Okay, so obviously I got a biiiig problemo. In fact, two problems, but we'll get to that later.<em>

_There's this guy. I liked him for years, and didn't know he liked me back until we moved schools in September 2011. But, it turns out he had a major crush on me while we were at the same school but didn't say anything because his friend also liked me (he told me this Facebook). We talked over Facebook last spring and arranged to meet up with a bunch of friends and he even offered to pretend to be my boyfriend. So he offered to pretend to be my boyfriend because my friends' boyfriends would be there but my friends cancelled so it never happened. We still talked all the time on Facebook until June when he stopped replying to my messages. He just didn't say word to me. Not one single word. Then when I got back home from visiting my Italian relatives, he still hadn't replied. Last weekend I was in town with my best friend (who also went to my old school with us) and was sitting at a table in Costa while she ordered. Then he and a boy I didn't know walked in! I freaked, checking my reflection in the mirror behind me, and I didn't think he noticed me or my friend. He didn't eat in, they left pretty quickly. Then that night I was on Facebook and I realized he had unfriended me. I was so upset, I nearly cried (which is saying something because I never cry)._

_What's wrong with me? Why won't he speak to me? I can't just get over him and talk to another guy because I go to an all-girls school._

_My second problemo is there is a new girl in my school. She joined at the beginning of the year and she seems shy but really nice. I have been very ill with REALLY bad anemia so I haven't been at school enough to make friends with her. I really want to be her friend so how do I do that? My current friends never listen to me, they are all snobby spoiled brats, I need new friends badly. My dad is working abroad so I never see him although we used to be really close. My mum is a workaholic and doesn't notice me. My big sister is always being insanely mean. I'm having a hard enough time I don't need boy and friend drama as well!_

_One last thing, being at an all girls school, how can I meet any boys?_

_Hugs and Coolness_  
><em>~Sophy<em>

~:*:~

**Dearest Sophy,**

**Last week, I spent the better part of my Friday night watching He's Just Not That Into You with my best friends. After it was over, we all made each other a huge promise. We made a pact that we would ALWAYS tell each other something—no matter what. That something was that if a guy was just not that into you, we'd tell them. Right now, I'm going to make a promise to all my readers. Because what's the point of lying?**

**Sophy, he's just not that into you. At first, he was cute and flirty. Okay cute, he liked you. When he wasn't responding to your Facebook messages, there could have been excuses for that. He could have been on an African Safari or maybe a tiger ate his laptop. But since he unfriended you, and isn't acting like a friend, it's obvious that that ship has sailed.**

**It's okay to cry. Stuff like this is hard on all of us. This is the time where you go to Blockbuster, rent some Nicholas Sparks movies, and then walk across the street to Albertson's to buy yourself some junk food. Or as they would say in He's Just Not That Into You, "Once you here those words, you just run to the supermarket and get yourself some ribs and some ice cream. Because you have been dumped."**

**I'm sorry that you're horribly sick. I'm sorry. Just talk to her. Ask her about school. Ask her about her life. Ask her about the homework. Ask her what kind of music she likes. After you get to know her, and you think she's someone you could end up being really close with, plan something fun. Like a mall trip or like go to a roller skating rink or something. Then your house, or her house. Always start in public settings. That is rule number one.**

**About your family. I'd try to stay in touch with your dad as much as possible. Send him letters, email, skype. Let him know you miss him. I don't know what to say about your mom. Maybe you just need to have a deep conversation with her about how you feel. Ignore your sister. Siblings usually come around eventually.**

**How can you meet guys. Go out in public once in a while. JK that was mean I'm sorry. Do you go to church? You could go to youth group or join a club or play coed soccer or join . JK DON'T DO THAT. BEX TRIED AND WE ALL SAW HOW THAT WENT.  
><strong>

**~m**

* * *

><p><em>HIS NAME IS JAKE!? HE HAS BRACES!? (it's not a bad thing Austin mahone lookedkinda ok with braces haha) YOU GUYS LAYED UNDER THE STARS AND TALKED!? Kinda lame I would've kissed him right after he told me but, hey, your life. Jkjk.<em>  
><em>Lol anyways...aww he got hit by a truck :(. Omg ur moms hilarious! And what's up with you and guys with J names? Well I'm not one to judge I like jakes, jason, joshs, joss's, and lastly but not least Jacobs! I had a guy friend named Jacob branum and Joshua buietman or something and I was like omg you guys are JB! Then that was my nickname for them. O and I do apologize for horrible grammar and all I mean I have no idea how I passed writing staar last year it's just a miracle well anyways I have to clean my house with my sisters but I might sneak on in a little while<em>  
><em>Your favorite, sometimes spicy if you put the spicy stuff in it, snack<em>  
><em>HUMMUS!<em>

~:*:~

**Hey Natalie,**

**Yeah okay I might have a thing for people with J names, I'm not gonna lie I've liked way too many people that have a name that starts with J LOL.**

**I am in the process of getting over him right now so I'm just not gonna reread what you wrote up there and leave questions about him unanswered because I'm trying not to care.**

**It's hard.**

**So anyway, my life is pretty much ruled by AP European History. My teacher is this crazy little 60 year old Jewish woman who has no husband, no family, no pets, and whose only joy in life is making us suffer.**

**So that's great.**

**That's why I have no time to live my life anymore.**

**Hooray for me.**

**But today should be okay I guess because it's homecoming HAHAHHA YAY**

**Not like I'm going…LOL**

**But me and Bex, Cam, and Liz have plans.**

**First we shall go to Red Lobster and pig out on the Endless Shrimp Deal. YUM. Then, we shall go see The Perks of Being a Wallflower and get our Logan Lerman Fix for the month. Finally, we shall come to my house and eat junk food and wallow in the fact that none of us have dates.**

**Love,**

**~Macey**

* * *

><p><em>Heyyyy!<em>  
><em>Ok, so I have a problem (well that's obvious, because you know... otherwise I wouldn't write that)<em>  
><em>It's not a 'I'm about to die unless I figure this out!' problem, or a 'OMGEEEEEZEZ, I'm already dead and the only way to revive me is to SOLVE MY PROBLEM! Anyway, on to the ACTUAL point.<em>

_So there's this guy (AKA guy no.1) that I started crushing on half way through grade three. I didn't tell anyone, not even my BFF. So anyway BFF comes up to me one day and says "You know, I saw guy no.1 staring at you today during class."_

_So now, 3 years later, I STILL HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM. (Just FYI, the boys in my school are still entirely immature.) 2 of my friends went up to him one day and asked him whether he liked me. I had no idea that they were asking at the time. So later my friends came up to me and told me that he'd answered "Who's *insert my name here*?" Which of course made my friends go crazy saying that he liked me because I was a house captain with him. In the same sport house._

_On the last day of school in term two, guy no.1 and a bunch of his friends came up to me and a bunch of my friends and guy no.1 said he was leaving school to go to another country._

_So basically, the guy I've had a crush on since grade 3 left school halfway through grade 6. I still really like him, but I'm going to an all girls school for high school and he's going to a co-ed._

_When he left, we emailed each other for a bit but then he stopped replying and now I'm confused. Does he like me? Or am I over-analysing?_

_1 term after he left, I may or may not have sort started liking this other guy (AKA guy no.2)_  
><em>The problem is, one of my friends is completely obsessed with him in a way that she writes his name 20000000000000 times on a piece of paper. Yeah, I know. She's weird.<em>

_And then, to make it even worse, another girl likes him too. Also in the freaky stalker way, except she doesn't make it super obvious._

_Utterly confused. What should I do? Who should I like more?_

_LiveLoveLOL_

~:*:~

**Dear LiveLoveLOL,**

**You shouldn't like either of them. Freaking guy number one is going to school in a different country so YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO SEE HIM AGAIN.**

**Sorry.**

**And like don't even try with guy number two. It's just gonna be more pain in the butt drama. I HATE pain in the butt drama. And you should too.**

**So I suggest you live by your penname.**

**Go LIVE and go skydiving or something and stop obsessing over boys. You're not even in high school yet. You'll have PLENTY of time to obsess over boys then.**

**LOVE yourself and make sure you're happy with yourself, your life, your grades. Make sure you know yourself. Find yourself. You can't love someone without knowing how to love yourself first.**

**LOL and go on youtube and watch some JennaMarbles (if you don't mind cussing). I swear to God, Jenna Marbles is one of the funniest people on the internet. She's a little inappropriate sometimes thought so watch sparingly…LOL. (I recommend "How to get people you don't want to talk to to stop talking to you." BEST)**

**If none of these options work for you, feel free to let me know and I'll give you another idea when I'm in a better mood and not in a faze where I hate all testosterone.**

**Yours Truly,**

**~Macey McHenry**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: please review. please.<br>**

**If I accidentally didn't answer your q lemme know hoe.  
><strong>

**Gosh I'm so tired.  
><strong>

**Please review,  
><strong>

**Love,  
><strong>

**~m  
><strong>


	22. He's Just NOT That Into You

~Chapter 21: He's Just NOT That Into You~

_Dear Macey,_  
><em> You are ever so wonderful and right. can you please help me with this problem? Ok i moved into this new school and into this new neighborhood. Well my neighbor is this really cute boy. Me and my neighbor have gotten really close his name is Jake and he plays every sport and is known as a player. <em>

_ One day we were just chilling in the yard when he asked me if I liked him. i responded that i didn't know because this was my first friend I had at this school and I didn't wanna lose him as a friend. Plus he been known to be a player also what if it was some joke. I didn't get the time to find out because his friends came over and wanted to hang with him. _

_ He asked me if I wanted to come but I had homework. Now he barely talks to me. I keep trying to talk to him to find out why he wont talk to me but he never responds. Does he like me? If so, how do I hint him into telling me he does? Should i become more than friends?_

_ Your friend,_

_ ~Who WAS Blue, but now Gray_

~:*:~

**Dearest Gray and other ladies of fanfiction,**

** Since it has obviously become difficult for you guys to understand whether a guy likes you or not, I am going to dedicate this next little section to SPELLING THINGS OUT FOR YOU NICE AND CLEAR.**

** By quoting He's Just Not That Into You.**

** Which I have constantly described as essential to life of a girl. But have any of you gone out and rented it? No? Well that's our problem.**  
><strong><br>**1. ...if he's not asking you out

** If a guy wanted to go to the movies with you, he would. Now, let us all look at the old-fashioned difference between ASKING OUT and DATING. There is a fine line in between this two, so it's often hard to tell. These days, the words are pretty much interchangeable. But there is a slight difference. Someone can ask you out, without dating you. Do you get it? It's like when Bex asked me to go to homecoming with her. She asked me out. To homecoming. But we are OBVIOUSLY not dating.**

** If he doesn't ask you to go underwater basket weaving with him, it is because he GENUINELY does not want to go under water basket weaving with you.**

2. ...if he's not calling you

** Now this one can also go for texting. Guess what? I have come to a realization, if he's not responding to your texts, it's not because he dropped his phone in his pool. It's not because he's busy, and it's not because he's too obsessed with the Play Station 3 to realize that his phone just buzzed. It's because HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.**

** If you wanted to talk to you, he'd make it happen.**

3. ...if he's not dating you

** If a guy wanted to seal the deal and make you his girlfriend, he would. It's not because his parents don't allow him to date. Because five bucks says he'll that next week he'll be doing Tina Walters under the bleachers. Even if you guys are just "talking" but you still go to the movies together but he's STILL not willing to give you a label, he's just using you. RUN.**

** Now, this could be a little controversial because, sometimes, it really just is not a good time for someone to be in a relationship. This idiot I know was dating this super duper mega ultra hot guy. And they were all cute and gross and whatever. But then all of a sudden, he just dropped off the face of the earth. And they didn't talk for two weeks straight. (Which was a long time for them considering that she's a pyscho obsessed bitch.) So of course, she went all creepo stalker on him. And it turns out that his mom is deathly ill. And he obviously would rather have all his focus on his mom.**

** That is like the only excuse I would take.**

** Like ever.**

** Pretty much.**

** I think.**

** But totally let me know if you have any other ideas that are acceptable.**

** If his mom isn't dying, and he's not dating you, HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.**

** Now because the rest of these ARE NOT THAT APPLICABLE TO ANY OF US, I shall list them without explanation. Because I think they're pretty much self explanatory.**

4. ...if he only wants to see you when he's drunk  
>5. ...if he doesn't want to marry you<br>6. ...if he's breaking up with you

** When a guy is dumping you, he will jedi mind trick you. He'll make you think it was your idea. **

** I LOVE these excuses:**

** a) "Well, I don't want to stand in your way."**  
><strong> b) "You're perfect, but I just have to work on myself."<strong>  
><strong> c) "I'm just worried about YOUR happiness." (This one has been used on me)<strong>  
><strong> d) "I don't deserve you." (HAHAHA hell no you don't if you're dumping me with THAT line)<strong>  
><strong> e) "I am SO jealous of the next guy to be with you." (Well...um...that could've been you.)<strong>

7. ...if he's disappeared on you

** Hiding is a great subtle way to get rid of a person. Trust me, this is how I dumped my first boyfriend.**

8. ...if he's married (and other insane variations of why he is unavailable)

** i.e. HE CAN'T WALK WITH YOU TO THE PARK BECAUSE HE HAS TO CLEAN HIS FISH TANK BUT YOU PERSONALLY KNOW HE DOESN'T OWN A FISH.**

9. ...if he's a selfish jerk, a bully, or a REALLY BIG FREAK

** Now there is the exception and the rule. Unless he PROVES to you that you are the exception, and NOT the rule, then you're the rule. Which means that all these rules are true as they apply to you and your love lives.**

** So that my friends was pretty much the entire movie in short. Now you'll just KNOW if he's just not that into you.**

** As for the neighbor, I have come to the conclusion that he is just not that into me, which is why Bex is currently trying to set me up with this hottie at school.**

** Yours Truly,**

** ~Macey McHenry**

* * *

><p><em>Hey Macey!<em>

_It's me again. Well... I asked the girl who people said was dating him since we are like best friends and she said they weren't dating and that she only thought of him as friends. I've been thinking about telling him that I liked him for about a month now and about two weeks ago on Monday after school I told him... he didn't say anything, but the next day he told my friend Nicole that he only thinks of me as a friend. _

_I'm totally cool with it, since it's better than it being all awkward with us, but now we're back to our usual, pretending to try to kill each other and going at each other throats messing with each other. We're texting each other more often now and we talk and mess with each other and my friends say that he likes me. I don't know what think and I think I'm getting over him but I still want to just go up to him and hug him and I still get butterflies and all smiley around him! Help please! _

_Sincerely, _

_~Kristina_

~:*:~

**Hey Kristina,**

**Damn, girl. Did you HEAR that, everyone? "She's totally COOL with it." HAHAH YAY! For once, someone understands and isn't freaking out and like dying like a maniac.  
><strong>

**Thank you Kristina. I love you. Thank you for not being an over-reactor and knowing that this is not the end of the world. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.  
><strong>

**Well if you want to hug him, then hug him. I mean it's free country and you guys ARE friends. It's not like he's a stranger, hahah.  
><strong>

**~m**

* * *

><p><em>So I'm in middle school so we go from class to class, and my super cute ex-boyfriend is in all of my classes. We never really broke up, but we started dating other people. <em>

_Now he's in my class and so is his ex-girlfriend. I'm finding my self a little jealous, my friends worry, and I tell them I'm okay, but I think I still like him. The worst part is I went out with his best friend.  
><em>

_*CammieGoode*_

~:*:~

**Hey there,  
><strong>

**Okay, so here's what I don't understand. How can you never break up, but start dating other people? Were you never even dating him in the first place? I mean, you're in middle school so what does a date even constitute as? Do you guys like swing on the swings together or something?  
><strong>

**So anyway, you dated his best friend. Dumb move. Well you're obviously not okay. Okay well just keep in mind that his EXgirlfriend is his EX for a REASON. Try to talk to him, hit on him, see if you can get him back.  
><strong>

**Love,  
><strong>

**~m**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey everyone. So pretty much I'm just laying on my aunt's couch in m pajamas. I should be studying for AP Euro, because that's pretty much what my life currently consists of. But we all know I would much rather help you you guys.<br>**

**Please leave a review and let me know what you think of my stories and rants :)  
><strong>

**Love,  
><strong>

**~m  
><strong>


	23. ConfessionNight

~Chapter 22: #ConfessionNight~

_Dear Macey,_

_Okay, so I don't have any interesting story about the boy drama in my life, and that's the problem, I don't have any boy drama!_  
><em>You see, I've always been a shy person, but when it comes to guys, it's like I completely shut down and become the most quiet, boring person on Earth. It's taken me a while to admit this, but I NEED HELP.<em>

_I am absolutely clueless on how to flirt with guys, in ways that aren't too out of my comfort zone (as I said before, I'm really shy). I'm also not that great at small talk._

_It amazes me how I have so many friends while being soooo bad at small talk. Seriously, I'm that type of person who is like "Soo...How did u think u did on that quiz?" or worse "Did u feel how cold it was today?" Like really, the weather?_

_How is that EVER going to get me a date?_  
><em>I actually have a great personality and sense of humor when I open up to people, but it is so hard for me to do that. I majorly lack confidence, and one of the reasons I'm so quiet is because I feel like everything I say will be judged.<em>

_So do u have any tips on being confident and more able to open up to people (specifically guys)?_

_From,_

_Too Shy for Guys_  
><em>(creative, right? Haha)<em>

~:*:~

**Hey Shy Girl,**

**I feel like opening up to the world right now so I'm gonna have a #ConfessionNight. LOL  
><strong>

**I am honestly the same exact way. I don't even take my own advice. I suck at talking to people.  
><strong>

**It's mainly because I have really high standards. I am a really good judge of character. Therefore, if I deem you as an idiot, I will literally do anything it takes to not have to talk to you.  
><strong>

**I deem a lot of people as idiots. Except my best friend of course. But we're the kind of people who have matching shirts that say I HATE EVERYTHING in big bold letters on the back.  
><strong>

**Another thing is that I've had like one boyfriend. Like ever. Like in my life. Okay, two if you count my kindergarten beau... ;)  
><strong>

**So maybe you should just make it a New Years Resolution. Start out with the easy things. Easy things include school, teachers, other people, and compliments.  
><strong>

**"Oh WOW I LOVE your sunglasses. They look sharp on you." Bam, that's how babies are made.  
><strong>

**Just kidding..  
><strong>

**Just start talking to them in class. This is how my friends do it: They jump in on other people's conversations.  
><strong>

**For example:  
><strong>

**"Hey, Jake did you hear that new Rebecca Black song? That was a real trip."  
><strong>

**YOU: "I heard it OMIGOD it's like so bizarre sounding." (except use less awkward adjectives. Only old people [my math teacher] say things like bizarre in everyday conversation)  
><strong>

**Just like jump in.  
><strong>

**Like what are they gonna do, shank you for holding an opinion?  
><strong>

**After you befriend them you might get their number and start texting them. Except if they are a boy, then you should probably wait for them to ask for yours. Unless you can think of a really good excuse like: "Ugh, I am so bad at math. Do you understand it? You do? Do you think maybe I could call you when I need help? My parents really want me to get at least a B.."  
><strong>

**THAT IS WHAT A GOOD EXCUSE LOOKS LIKE.  
><strong>

**And then you can bond over math and fall in love and have children who don't understand math either.  
><strong>

**Literally, the only guys I talk to all day are:  
><strong>

**1. Some jerk who always wants to borrow paper  
><strong>

**2. This dumb guy named Ching Wong Leong who always hits me in the face with his backpack on "accident" who I CONSTANTLY yell at because of it.  
><strong>

**3. Some dude who sits behind me in Chem because we cheat together.  
><strong>

**4. This guy who thinks I look like a Nazi.  
><strong>

**5. A Muslim Surfer Kid who (apparently) I'm engaged to?  
><strong>

**6. The Muslim Surfer Kid's best friend who I hate more than anything  
><strong>

**And that's about it. So don't feel bad.  
><strong>

**Here's some good inspirational quotes:  
><strong>

**"In order to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done."  
><strong>

**"Some girls show off their beauty, because they want the world to see it. Others try and hide their beauty because they want the world to see something else."  
><strong>

**"Life goes on, with or without you." (So you can talk to people and have a blast and be like YOLO or you can sit in the corner with your cat.)  
><strong>

**Take some chances. I think you'll find that in the end, it'll be worth it. Just start by saying hi. It could change your life.  
><strong>

**~m**

* * *

><p><em>Questions:<em>

_ Is it possible to fall in-love with a fictional character?_

**I definitely think it is impossibly easy to fall in love with a fictional character. Think about this, you are constantly inside their head. You hear their sweet thoughts, their funny thoughts, and EVERYTHING. How could you not? Sometimes, you love a character so much, you want to BE them. Other times you imagine that they were thinking all those sweet things about you. Sometimes, fantasy is better than reality.**_  
><em>

_ Is it hard not to want to like or date anyone for a whole school year? Seeing as I'm doing that because I'm such a geek (well I think I am) and want to not go out with anyone._

**Honestly, I don't think it is. I don't have a crush on anyone and it's been this way for a while. It's mainly because boys are stupid. And immature. And they don't understand girls. So honestly, I'm waiting for guy with a brain to come around. But then again, I have really high standards.  
><strong>

_ Are friends bad when they say that I'm crazy for not believing in love for me? But i'm okay with love for other people for me. Since I'm too young to even be falling in love. Okay short story short, am i bad for not believing in love?_

**I feel like that is kind of a depressing out look. But they say that love comes to you when you're least expecting it. And it's called falling in love because you don't have to think. You just fall..**_  
><em>

**I think certain people have had enough terrible things happen in their lives to where they put a lot of walls up. My best friend doesn't believe in love because of her parents' divorce. I don't know about your past, but I feel like everyone is made of something that has changed them. You are what you are, and there's nothing that can change that. Maybe one day, you will meet someone special. Maybe someday, you will be able to open up your heart. But for right now, I think that's a-okay. I mean I don't believe I'm going to fall in love in high school. Love is for suckers. We're too young to know. Maybe I'll fall into like with someone.  
><strong>

**I just want someone who can make me smile.  
><strong>

_ When your friend (well kinda friend, more like someone your parents forced you to be friends with because they're friends with this girls parents) say she likes you ex-boyfriend, how am i meant to react? I'm kinda feeling slightly jealous. But my ex-boyfriend has no interest in her what so ever. But then I end up trying to play matchmaker and try to get them together. Am i crazy? I thought I didn't want them together._

**Hmm. All I have to say is keep your friends close and your enemies closer. He's not interested so it doesn't matter, right?  
><strong>

_ I have a reputation in my class. But what if i'm tired of my reputation? How do i get rid of that reputation?_

**One day, I woke up and I decided that I NEVER wanted to feel that way ever again. So I changed. I don't know where you live, but I live in America, babe. And this is the place to reinvent yourself as many times as you want to.  
><strong>

_ Okay i know you're probably not gonna answer these, but worth a try right:)_

**LOL, do you think I'm famous or something? It's not like I have that many problems to answer ahahahah. **

_~DkST (my initials)_

* * *

><p><em>:) Hi McHenry! It's me again! :) I sincerly think this question will help many<br>people:_

HOW TO TELL YOUR DESPERATE FOR A BOYFRIEND! Could you fix up some quick  
>factsadvice? Thanks :) (Plus, I could use some advice :)

Bunniez a.k.a. possibly but not really sure desperate mammal :)

~:*:~

How to Tell You're Desperate for a Male Companion  
>A List by Macey McHenry<p>

(Not to be confused with desperate to stay in a relationship)

1. You internet stalk him. Babe, if you're constantly checking your crush's Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, STOP. Back away slowly from the computer please. Go do something with your life. Oh, so going through all his pictures is supposed to help you seduce him? YEAH RIGHT.

2. You get attached way too fast. This girl I know LITERALLY has texted this guy ONCE and now she thinks they're dating. Like she literally thinks they're having a thing. She is obviously delusional.

3. Try to avoid texting him first. Sometimes guys like it, ON OCCASION. But you don't want to come off as annoying or clingy or both. So he's the guy. Wait for him to text or call you first.

4. If you put off your priorities for a guy. DO YOUR HOMEWORK. TALK TO YOUR FAMILY. STAY CLOSE WITH YOUR FRIENDS. Seriously, log off of Facebook, I know the separation anxiety may be hard to face, but you'll get over it.

5. Putting in your status how much you want a boyfriend. MINE AS WELL GO SELL YOURSELF ON THE STREET.

6. Throwing a tantrum when a guy is busy. SORRY HE HAS OTHER PRIORITIES. You shouldn't expect him to drop all his shit for you,

7. You're territorial. You find out another girl likes him and suddenly she is your arch enemy. CALM DOWN. You don't own him, okay? If you're not dating him, he's not yours. And that girl has every right to creep on him as much as you do.

8. You always agree with what he thinks. The other day at school we were walking and this hottie was kicking around his soccer ball. And Bex yells, "I JUST LOVE SOCCER." We all know that Bex hates soccer.

9. You fish for compliments. No guy hates it more than when he compliments you and this happens:

"You look really pretty with your hair like that."

"No, I don't I'm so ugly."

What the guy is thinking: Okay, you dumb ugly bitch.

10. You drop your standards.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey guys! Sorry for taking such a horribly long time to update. Life goes on.<strong>

**I didn't answer all the reviews and such that I got because it's been so long and I honestly did not know what some of you people were talking about. I know that sounds really bad, I'm sorry. I talk to a lot of people on here and sometimes its just hard to keep them all straight. Please leave a review. Let me know if you need my advice. I love to help all of you lovelies!**

**Sometimes my sanity just cannot remain intact if I have to try to decipher what you people are trying to say whn u typ evrythng in shrt lyk ths. PLEASE JUST SPEAK ENGLISH I BEG YOU.**

**Okay, love ya'll.**

**~m**


	24. Summer Lovin

**AN: I KNOW ITS BEEN MONTHS IM SORRY DONT HATE ME I LOVE YOU ALL**

* * *

><p><span>~Chapter 24: Summer Lovin~<span>

_Dearest Goddess of Sunshine and Beauty,_

_Hullo, lady. I'm sure you'll find my problems wondrously entertaining. (Not.)_  
><em>Enjoy!<em>

_So, I have this problem. (No duh, right?)_  
><em>It's my best friend. I have known her for almost seven years, about three of which she wasn't Bipolar in.<em>  
><em>She has been hospitalized three times for attempted suicide, had a different boy friend every few weeks, refused to take medication, and has told my twelve-year-old sister she should smoke pot. I would love to simply stop talking to her, but here is why I can't:<em>

_1.) I knew her before she was Bipolar, she was kind, funny, and down to earth. She loved life, and valued people who had high standards._

_2.) I am, quite seriously, the only person she calls a friend who doesn't have some crazy diagnosis. At all, like her other best friend thinks she's a werewolf. Not kidding._

_3.) I love her. A while back she was like the twin I'd always wished I had._

_Please tell me what to do! Maybe next time I comment I'll be my silly, slightly sarcastic self. Till then,_

_Sunshine&Rainbows_

~*:*~

**Hello deary,**

**I will now tell you a personal story. I was best friends with this girl and I've known her for like twelve years.**

**So we were both happy kids. And then she started getting depressed and dragging me down. And for the longest time I would try to be there for her and support her with everything. I was always there and stuff. But the thing was, I was constantly worried that she was going to kill herself. It was terrible.**

**So after about two and a half years of constantly trying to fix her, I just stopped. And I let it go. And I decided that I needed to enjoy my life and worry about my own sanity.**

**People change, memories don't.**

**Don't let other people drag you down.**

**I hope this sort of helps you and I apologize for not being here for all of you sooner.**

**~m**

* * *

><p><em>Hello Macey,<em>  
><em>Alright so I really like his guy but I don't know if he likes me or not. We are both in cooking class and he talks to me a lot I there and he makes the cutest faces ever and we laugh about it and take pictures. Also, my friends say that he likes me and that we should date and stuff but I'm not sure if he likes me. Oh and I wanted to know if he could be my soul mate because this other time me and my friend were walking and he was walking in front of us but the he stopped walking and he turned around so me and my friend stopped walking and me and him just looked into each others eyes and smiled until my friend had to snap me out of it and we had lots of other moments like that too and he always looks at me in the eyes when we talk (crazy I know but hey we never know).bur sometimes I think he doesn't like me sometimes I think he does and how can I ask for his phone number? Please help me I'm freaking out here!<em>

~*:*~

**If you guys have "moments" then I'm pretty sure he likes you. I don't know if I believe in soul mates, but I do believe that some extraordinary and unexplainable things happen sometimes. I think you should go for him. Just ask him, I'm over this sexism bullshit where girls have to wait for everything COME ON GIRLS LETS JUST FREAKING DO IT GROW A PAIR.**

**Okay love you good luck,**

**~McHenry**

* * *

><p><em>macey i heard you can help on these types of problems<em>  
><em>i have serious family issues like a alcholic dad and a drug head brother. we all knows what goes on in those households with those kinds of people mainly alot of screaming and fighting. I wish, sometimes, that my family would go away, but they dont. Over the years the fighting has gotten worse and more violent. i want to just get away from my family. i would like to go to a boarding school, but would that solve everything?<em>  
><em>im seriously confused and tired of this help me dearest of macey with your fairy godmother dust<em>

~*:*~

**Hello sweetie,**

**I'm sorry I haven't been able to get back to you sooner.**

**I'm sorry you have to struggle with such a terrible home life.**

**I think if you could find a way to get yourself into boarding school, then that would be amazing. If you didn't have to spend so much time surrounded by them constantly dragging you down, I feel like you could become a much more productive person. I feel like when you're young, you should only have to worry about yourself. So I am so very sorry that you have to worry about so much more than yourself.**

**Try to get into boarding school. I think that would be a great option for you just to see better parts of this world.**

**Love you,**

**~m**

* * *

><p><em>Yay you answered! So dear Macey here is my response:<em>

_Aha, for the first one my friends think I'm crazy for being in love with a certain smirking boy, an amazing Cullen, the boy with the bread and much, much more. I love my friends and all but sometimes I just don't think they understand me._

_I don't believe in love plainly because I've seen it happen but then in the end crash and burn. I've seen how it affects people and it is crazy what happens. My friend Georgie, she went out with this guy called Jack. They were on and off for a whole year, she talked about him loads (we ended up calling it Jack talk) and in the end she got her heart broken. And dissed Taylor Swift by singing her song We are never ever getting back together, but then going back out with him. Yeah so I kinda don't want that happening to me. And what I tell my friends is "I won't believe it until it happens to me or if I ever feel it for someone" which I really doubt, the boys in my year are so immature and blachhh -shudder- They are also a bunch of perverts._

_Yeah, you're right, it shouldn't matter and the thing she had for him is over as soon as he apparently 'broke her heart'. But he was my first boyfriend and he'll always have that little place in my heart. He hasn't had a girlfriend yet and I haven't had a boyfriend yet (kinda, but that's a completely different awkward situation) and yeah, he just has that place where I will always still really like him. If you get what I mean._

_Well I live in the UK, not as good as people make it out to be. I have the reputation as the crazy, carefree girl. But I don't want that, not anymore. I want to start getting serious because I am pretty smart and need to get my act together for GCSE's/Exams. And it's really not that easy to change yourself here, once you've that person you've always that person, unless some miracle happened. So I just have to figure out a way to get people to treat me seriously._

_About the famous thing, you should be. Now I'm not gonna tell you your amazing because of one of your other chapters...omg what the heck 'you're amazing'. And you're a swifter, yaaaay. None of my friends like Taylor Swift that much, I personally think they've crazy._

_P.S. Do you like One Direction?_

~*:*~

**Hey babe,**

**I know I believe in love, but I don't really believe in high school love. I believe in the deepest of likes in high school. But I don't know about that whole love thing at my age.**

**You should move to America. As my 63 year old history teacher/cat lady says, "America is a place where you can constantly reinvent yourself."**

**I don't really know where her logic comes from, but I'll believe almost anything she tells me so. Yeah.**

**If you want to change your reputation, the best way is to just start fresh. Get a new wardrobe, fresh hair cut, and DO WHAT YOU WANT. Because people are seriously going to judge you no matter what you do. So do what you like to do and wear what you want to wear.**

**I'm kind of the opposite of you. I need to be crazier. I need a life. And a boyfriend.**

**GUESS WHAT I'M GOING TO THE TAYLOR SWIFT RED CONCERT ON SATURDAY HAHAHAH YAY.**

**So anyway, no sorry I'm not into One Direction but thank you for playing.**

**Love ya bunches,**

**~m**

* * *

><p><em>I NEED HELP! How the heck do you know if you like a boy or not? Like, seriously I'm confused. I don't like being confused.<em>

~*:*~

**The number one rule when determining if you (seriously) like a boy is to make sure you actually know him. This does not mean memorizing creepy facts about him, stalking his twitter, and staring at him all of fifth period.**

**It means that you two can hold a decent conversation and he makes you laugh and smile and you actually enjoy his presence while he recognizes yours.**

**Another concept that may be difficult to cope with is liking "the idea" of someone. This phrase gets thrown around a lot, so let me explain it. So like you want a boyfriend so bad that you like the first guy that comes along even though you guys have literally nothing in common and cannot even hold a conversation. This is a problem, my dear, because it means you want a boyfriend so bad that you are willing to settle.**

**AND NONE OF US SHOULD EVER SETTLE FOR LESS THAN WE DESERVE. AM I RIGHT, LADIES?**

**So there was this guy once who I thought I was in love with. But then I started to realize that I was just in love with the way he called me beautiful and was willing to talk to me. And then one day I woke up and I realized that in actuality I hated being around him in person, we had nothing in common, and that I could do so much better.**

**Also, it is also important to recognize the things you want in a guy. This helps you not to settle.**

**For example, here is what I like in a guy:**

**1. Smart (ish)**

**2. Funny because if he can't make me laugh then what am I going to do with myself because I laugh at like everything**

**3. Has goals—this means they aren't someone who is gonna drop out of high school and like go into prostitution or anything (not that there's anything wrong with that), but I have high goals for myself, so he better, too.**

**4. Is outgoing. I'm pretty shy so like um—If you don't talk to me first we'll never talk, okay?**

**I think that's it.**

**The main thing is not to sell yourself short, make sure you know the guy and know him WELL (so he's not like secretly part of the mob), and enjoy your life because I don't know guys are idiots if you ask me.**

* * *

><p>Okay guys so here is the part where I update you on my life because we have been out of touch almost as long as my mom has gone without dieting.<p>

So I was a camp counselor at this little all-girls camp away in the mountains, and rid of all civilization. (Except for the fact that I got better cell-phone reception than I do in my bed, which is saying something).

This camp thing was six weeks long.

And I happily volunteered myself to live in the forest for six weeks because:

If you haven't already been able to tell, I don't have the greatest decision making process.

I figured I would rather do something innovative than lay in my bed all summer.

I read Looking for Alaska and decided that I wanted to find that "Great Perhaps" that Pudge was constantly talking about. (If you don't know what I'm talking about PLEASE go read that book PLEASE THIS IS NOT A DRILL)

I really need money to buy a halfway decent car.

So this was an adventure.

I was the youngest counselor there, because I'm in high school. And pretty much all the other counselors were in college. So it was kind of awkward when one of them would come up to me and be like "SO what are you studying? What university do you go to?" And I'm just standing there like, "Oh, haha, I'm like in high school? LOL."

But it was pretty cool because I got to ask a lot of questions about growing up and college and all that crazy stuff.

One of the best parts of camps was the bathroom meetings. I know this sounds weird, but we were in the woods. So the only enclosed area was the bathroom. So from around ten o'clock at night to as late as three in the morning, me and some other chill counselors would hang out in the bathroom and gossip.

We would talk about boys, campers, bugs, everything.

We even gave each other massages.

It was some serious bonding time. (The woods does this to people.)

So anyway, one night the topic of conversation was Macey's love life. "So Macey, what's your boyfriend like?"

"Hmm well I don't have a boyfriend, hahahah." *cries*

"Well who do you like?"

"Well…there's this guy."

And that's how it always starts. There's always this guy that isn't your boyfriend even though he should be and that's the problem.

So they asked me all of these questions, and of course I told them about my neighbor (Jake) and how I've been into him FOR like EVER.

Being the thirsty teenage girls we are (because when you're at an all girls camp for six weeks and literally haven't seen ANY guys, you'll go for pretty much anything) they wanted to see a picture.

But of course I didn't have one.

So our brilliant idea?: Let's snapchat him and then when he responds we can all see his face.

We sent the pic, and I was super nervous considering it was like 12:30 at night and I hadn't talked to him in forever.

Suddenly my phone buzzed, and I had one new message.

**From: Jake **

_Two words: da fuq?_

I chucked my phone across the bathroom and the profanities began to roll from my mouth.

"What the hell am I even supposed to say to that? He thinks I'm freaking crazy. See I told you bitches this was a bad idea."

"MACEY, shut the eff up and respond!"

I waited two minutes before I responded. (Because come ON I had to make him sweat at least a little, right?)

**Hahaha, sorry. We've been living in the woods for six weeks and there's nothing to do out here so.**

I legitimately did not expect him to respond after that. Why would he? What kind of teenager doesn't like their sleep?

But he did, anyway. And I conversation went something like this:

_I was just surprised. Why have you been in the woods?_

**I'm a camp counselor for this all girls summer camp. It's pretty intense because I'm always killing bugs and making sure children don't die.**

_I bet. How do you do it?_

**Lots of caffeine. LOL.**

And we talked and talked, until around 2:00 AM when I totally and completely passed out before he responded. But at least I fell smiling.

My morning started off pretty great when there was a "Good morning" snapchat from him. That was nice. It made me excited to start my day at least.

So when I came home for the two day break between camp sessions, we were still talking.

**Hey, I'm back in town.**

_Thank God. We need to hang out! What are you doing today?_

**I just walked down to the park. Meet me?**

_I'll be there in five._

I was just starting to climb a tree when he walked up. And we spent the next hour climbing trees and laughing and looking at clouds. And even trying to play with this dumb boomerang thing that I was terrible at throwing (but of course he was perfect at it). So we walked home a while after that, deciding we needed to bake cookies.

All I'm going to say is that we both ended up covered in flour (because we couldn't resist throwing it at each other) and we were laughing our asses off.

Still covered in flour, we went over to his house. (He lives over my wall, so it's convenient because you should all know I'm not about the walking life).

We attempted to play basketball (which was like the biggest joke ever because for ONCE in my WHOLE LIFE I was better than him). And then we started jumping on his trampoline.

He jumped until he was tired, but then he took a seat. I was still jumping because that's what trampolines are for. But he had different ideas. He grabbed my legs and pulled me down on top of him.

We decided to camp out under the stars.

I ran over to my house and grabbed my sleeping bag, totally freaking out. I brushed my teeth at rapid speed (because, ew, who would want to have dragon breath while sleeping next to a DUDE?) and ditched my retainer because I was embarrassed about the lisp it gave me.

And I went over, and lay down next to him.

You know how trampoline's kind of sink in the middle?

Well we kind of "sunk in" and ended up all over each other. If you know what I mean. We began to count the shooting stars. And we ended up seeing eight, which was completely crazy, because before that I had only seen like one shooting star in my entire life.

And his body was warm against mine and he smelled like summer. And my head was on his pillow and our feet were all tangled. When we laid there it was like nothing else existed. And I finally understood what it meant to feel infinite.

And he turned to me and whispered, "What would you say if I told you this was the best day I've had all summer?" And he smiled and I sighed.

And I whispered, "I'd tell you the same thing."

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><p><strong>AN: So, review? Because I love you all? So much.<strong>


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